Chapter 63: Confession
Speechless, Dhein let himself stare at Shina who was still blushing intensely. The girl noticed this, so she threw him a glance.
Moments later, she spoke with a slightly pained tone.
"It must be one sided... I know."
He shook his head and then responded.
"No, I’m just... How do you know you love me? Just over a week ago, you were so desperate to escape the palace because you didn’t want to be my bride, right?"
If they really thought that he was going to win the tournament, then the whole purpose of Shina leaving the capital was because of Dheinyrus. It was clear that she didn’t want to marry him at that time, so he found it hard to believe she loved him.
Shina’s face turned serious all of a sudden.
"I was wrong. Completely wrong about you," she blurted.
"Growing up, I witnessed how the powerful exploited the weak. How they used their strength for their own benefits and have everything go their way. I lumped you in with those kinds of people. That’s one of the reasons why I escaped."
"I didn’t really know you back then. That was a big mistake on my part. Sorry."
She took a deep breath, suddenly, there was a shift in her tone and her face lightened up.
"Then I got to know you. I realized that... you’re very k—kind and thoughtful. I heard about the things you did for the people of the slums as well. The way you humbled yourself even when you did nothing wrong, and how you saved them."
"You listened to me. Even when I asked for ridiculous things. You were always so considerate and... I... I..."
The princess paused and gathered more strength to continue.
"I found myself t—t—thinking about you all the time. I began to wonder what you are doing while you’re away, what is running inside your mind in random moments, what your mundane daily routine looks like... And... when father asked me if I wanted to marry you... my heart and mind instantly told me to say yes."
"I want to be a part of your life, Dheinyrus. I love you."
A warm and fuzzy feeling filled Dhein’s whole body. He felt sort of hot and cold at the same time, and he found it strange.
Hearing her soft, gentle voice utter those words hit him in a way he can’t explain. But one thing was certain: it made him... happy.
...Almost excited, even. However, there was a part of him that couldn’t find this scene rejoicing.
Shina looked at his eyes pleadingly, a sort of expression that almost melted his heart.
"D—Do you love me, too?"
His eyes opened wide, and he felt his cheeks heating up.
He began to search himself.
And then, he came to a realization.
This relationship wouldn’t work unless Shina became aware of a certain fact.
So, he clenched his fist. He looked away and then answered.
"I... I don’t know what that means."
Shina tilted her head, confused.
Dhein continued.
"I’ve never thought about love, at least not in this way. I’m not against the idea of being married to you, but if you ask me if I love you or not, I’m afraid I can’t answer that."
A frown crossed Shina’s face, and it hurt him to see that. He didn’t mean to reject her, he just really didn’t know how to answer her question. But it couldn’t be helped. He wanted to be honest to someone for once which a liar like him found very difficult.
But her next words surprised him.
"I understand."
Dhein looked at her, his face gave away the fact that he doubted if she really did.
But she continued.
"People like us are often tied to duty. The grand tournament my father announced is a proof of that. So, for someone like you who has an enormous responsibility to fulfill, it’s understandable that love is the last thing you consider when making these decisions. You only ever think about the greater good for your people, don’t you?"
Dhein stared at her in awe. It turned out that she really did understand.
"Still, it kinda hurts," she added.
Astounded, Dhein almost hesitated about his next actions. He feared that her feelings towards him might change.
But he had to do this. This was the most he could do to repay her feelings.
So he clenched his jaws and took a deep breath.
"Shina, would you still love me if I was weak?"
The girl looked at him, confused.
"What does that have to do with anything?" she asked.
With a serious tone, Dhein spoke.
"There’s something you need to know. If you still want to marry me after hearing this, then I can finally accept your feelings without guilt gnawing at me."
Shina anticipated, dreading his next words. Nonetheless, she nodded.
"Okay."
Dhein intensely looked at her in the eyes.
He then said:
"I’m a fraud, Shina."
He felt a sting in his chest when her expression completely changed.
"I don’t have any powers. What the demon said back in the warehouse was true. Everything that I have ever accomplished were lies and coincidence."
"What defeated those demons wasn’t me either. At that moment, a fallen god possessed my body. I became his vessel and he was the one who killed those demons."
His gaze dropped to the ground.
"I can’t connect to the divinity because I have no soul, that’s why I didn’t awaken any abilities. All this time, I have been lying and pretending, tricking the world that I’m the strongest just so I can inherit the clan."
What followed after that was unbearable silence. He wondered if he actually made a grave mistake that would destroy his life.
Then, he heard her voice.
"I can tell you’re not lying. There’s just one thing that I want to ask."
With a heavy heart, he lifted his gaze towards her face.
She then continued.
"Your uncle was a traitor. You knew that if you were proven a fraud, the authority to the clan would have fallen to their hands, right?"
After a moment, he nodded.
She smiled.
"Dheinyrus, you have been protecting the people around you from the very beginning."
His eyebrows furrowed.
"By lying out of my ass. That doesn’t change the fact that I’m powerless, Shina."
His tone was laced with regret and self-hatred as he spoke.
"The truth is that I’m a weakling. I can’t even defeat a low-level monster. I have been relying on everyone else to do the work that should have been mine but I take the credit."
"I can’t protect you. How can I be worthy of you if I can’t even save you from danger?"
Suddenly, he felt her soft, warm hands gently touching his face.
It mysteriously calmed his nerves, and he felt as though he was in the safest place ever.
She then whispered.
"But that’s all you have ever done for me, Dheinyrus."
His eyes widened.
"It’s you who always saves and protects me. Even if you say you’re powerless, it’s you who always rescues me in the end."
A warm smile spread across her beautiful face. She then said:
"You are my one and only savior."