Chapter 31: Li ming -the pill ’Expert’
The arena buzzed like a beehive. Disciples sat straight, their eyes sharp. Everyone wanted to prove their years of study in pill knowledge.
Everyone... except Li Ming. He leaned back on his chair, chewing on a bun, crumbs on his robes.
The judge raised a glowing green pill. "This is the Verdant Qi Pill. What is its weakness?"
A scholar disciple jumped up. "Low stability in the furnace!"
Another shouted, "Wrong! Slow absorption in the meridians!"
The judge frowned. "Half answers again. Anyone else?"
Li Ming raised his hand lazily. "It tastes bitter. That’s the real weakness. Nobody wants to eat something that tastes worse than a burnt bun."
The arena went silent.
The judge blinked. Then slowly nodded. "...Correct. Its bitterness makes weak cultivators reject it."
Gasps filled the air.
Li Ming smirked. "See? If a pill can’t beat a bun in taste, it’s already a failure."
---
Next, the judge held up a fiery red pill. "Fire Lotus Pill. What happens if combined with Frost Jade Pill?"
Scholars argued fiercely. "It balances qi!" "No, it cancels the effects!"
Li Ming tilted his head. "That’s just like eating hot chili and ice-cold buns together. You’ll probably explode from the inside."
The judge slapped the table. "Correct! The mixture causes violent qi backlash. Death is almost certain."
The crowd exploded. "Again?!"
"Is he serious or just crazy?!"
Li Ming smiled, taking another bite of his bun. "Simple logic. Don’t mix hot and cold food, or you’ll regret it."
---
Another pill came.
Question: "What danger lies in Spirit Replenish Pill?"
Scholar: "It drains qi when misused!"
Another: "No, it overloads the dantian!"
Li Ming: "Too round. Easy to choke on. At least buns are soft."
The judge froze. Then coughed. "...Correct. Many young disciples have choked on it before."
The arena shook with laughter and disbelief.
"He’s mocking us!"
"No... he’s actually right!"
---
By the fifth question, Li Ming’s name spread like wildfire.
"Who is he?"
"Is he a pill genius?"
"Or just a madman with good luck?"
Li Ming leaned back, smiling. He didn’t even look nervous. For him, this competition was easier than breakfast.
---
Finally, the judge raised a glowing rainbow pill. Its aura made the air tremble.
"This," he said, "is the Heaven Soul Pill. The rarest pill here. Wrong answer and you lose everything. Who dares?"
No one spoke. Not even the proudest alchemists.
Li Ming slowly stood. He pointed at the pill with his bun. "That one’s dangerous."
The judge narrowed his eyes. "Explain."
Li Ming chewed, swallowed, then said, "Because it looks too good. People will eat it without thinking. If you’re too weak, it’ll kill you before you even taste it properly."
The judge froze... then slammed the table. "Correct! Below Core Formation, the Heaven Soul Pill destroys the body!"
The crowd erupted.
"Again?! He’s right again?!"
"He makes it sound so easy!"
"Is he a genius or a demon?!"
Li Ming grinned. "Lesson learned: don’t eat shiny things. Stick to buns."
---
The judge announced, "First place in Round One goes to Li Ming of Sky Cloud Sect!"
The arena thundered with cheers and curses. Rival sects glared, but no one could deny it—Li Ming had won.
Li Ming raised his bun like a trophy. "Knowledge is power! And snacks keep me alive!"
---
That night, as he walked the streets, whispers followed him.
"That’s him—the bun-eating pill expert."
"He crushed every question!"
"They say he can see through pills with one bite."
Li Ming smirked. "Heh. Respect tastes better than any medicine." He took a bite of his bun, feeling like a king.
---
Bonus Funny Bit
Later that night, Li Ming sat in his inn, trying to "refine" pills in a cooking pot.
Boom! The pot exploded. A black lump rolled across the floor.
Li Ming picked it up, sniffed, and frowned. "...Smells like a burnt bun. Useless."
He tossed it out the window. A scream followed.
"AHHH! Who threw a rock at my head?!"
Li Ming chuckled. "Heh. Not a rock. A failed pill. Maybe I should patent it as a weapon."
To be continued...