Chapter 1 The Decisive Battle

It was precisely midday on Slow Star time, leaving only fifteen minutes until the final deadline declared by General Kuke.

At this moment, in the hangar of Kuke's underground base, thousands of Kuke soldiers in khaki uniforms were lined up neatly, ready to depart.

However, before they set off, General Kuke wanted to personally step onto the stage and give a speech to boost everyone's morale.

【Squeak—Deng Deng Deng Deng—】

Before Kuke's appearance, rhythmic music began playing on the huge screen on one side of the hangar.

Two seconds after the music started, Kuke, wearing a military uniform and a suggestive smile, appeared on the screen.

【Work hard, you've got this.】 He said to the camera with a smile.

【Also have hobbies.】 The scene changed, and Kuke tore a police officer in half with his bare hands, blood splattering everywhere.

【Happy family, you've got this.】 The scene switched again to him sitting on a sofa with several beautiful women and adorable children.

【Leave some space for yourself.】 The scene flashed, and only Kuke was left alive on the sofa, laughing wildly amidst a pile of corpses of women and children.

【Join the Kuke Army, you've got this.】

【Annual salary and benefits too.】

Here, many shots of Kuke Army equipment, resources, lined-up soldiers, and close-ups of Kuke himself were inserted.

【The strongest illegal armed force on Slow Star – the Kuke Army.】

Kuke turned his face sideways, holding a military badge printed with his face, and said to the camera: 【I am Kuke, and this is my army.】

【To learn more, please visit the following website.】

【And there are Kuke commemorative badges to claim~】

The above… was the Kuke Army's recruitment video. In this base, this video was often played for no particular reason.

The moment the video ended, Kuke himself strode onto the high platform in the hangar. The big screen switched to a live feed, focusing the camera on the general's face.

"Ahem… soldiers." Kuke cleared his throat and said directly into the microphone in front of him, "The moment of決战 has arrived!"

"Yay! Long live the General!"

"Long live Kuke!"

"Kuke, I love you!"

"Please go out with me!"

The soldiers below (all of whom were male) were in an uproar, their morale extremely high. But for some reason, there were some strange cries mixed in…

A few seconds later, Kuke waved his hand, signaling the people below to be quiet.

After the whole place returned to silence, Kuke continued, "This operation will be the beginning of our Kuke Army's unification of the galaxy." He clenched his fist with one hand and said loudly, "First, we will dominate Slow Star, and then…" He hesitated for a moment, "Well… uh… the next planet."

Clearly, the general's strategy could only go so far. Before this goal was achieved, it would be difficult for him to plan the next one…

However, his subordinates didn't care about these things. They still responded to the general's declaration with great enthusiasm.

Just at this moment, suddenly…

Boom—a loud explosion erupted.

In an instant, the ground shook and the mountains swayed.

Almost everyone in the entire underground base staggered and fell to the ground, only Kuke himself remained standing.

"What's going on!" Kuke's reaction was quite extraordinary. After a moment of panic, he shouted sternly into the communicator he was carrying, "Command, answer me quickly! Report the current situation!"

After a moment of silence, accompanied by a noisy interference sound, a response came from the communicator: "Re… reporting General, we were just attacked by missiles!" The voice paused, and then said, "Currently, the camouflage on the surface has been completely destroyed, and the power supply facilities have fallen into a semi-paralyzed state, but the emergency power source should last for about a quarter of a cosmic week."

"Damn it!" Kuke cursed, "How could we be hit by missiles? Didn't the base's missile defense system activate?"

"General… our system seems… seems to have a problem…" the other party replied.

"What?" Kuke said, "Of all times, why now?" He paused for half a second, "Wait… are you saying that the system has been malfunctioning all along?"

"Not really~ not really~" At this time, the interference sound in the communicator disappeared, and the person speaking changed to another. That person recited in a lazy tone, "Your ground defense and camouflage system were still operating normally until two cosmic days ago, what a pity…"

"Who are you?" Kuke's expression changed, "Who is talking to me?"

"Hehe…" the person on the other side of the communicator laughed evilly.

The next second, the face of an Earthling appeared on the large screen behind Kuke.

"Hello, everyone." Feng Bujue spoke to everyone in the Kuke Army base through the big screen and the broadcasting system, "I… am Poker Man, a city-level hero from the Cosmic Superhero Alliance."

"You…" Kuke turned around, looked at the screen, and said, "How did you…"

"...How did I hack your system?" Feng Bujue interrupted, "Heh… much easier than I thought." He said with a smile, "Like all computer users who still get viruses even with anti-virus software running, your problem isn't that your firewall isn't advanced enough, but that you're too stupid."

As he said this, a photo of a seductive woman appeared on the big screen, appearing to be stark naked, but with mosaics covering several key areas, and the words "Click here to watch the uncensored version for free" were displayed at the bottom of the screen.

"We successfully bypassed your firewall with such an advertising pop-up." A few seconds later, the screen switched back to a close-up of Feng Bujue's face, "By the way… at midday, there were at least forty devices of various models in your base connected to the external network, doing some recreational things. Among them, more than half of the people clicked on this virus-laden pop-up that we made in just five minutes after seeing this picture."

"Damn…" Kuke's forehead veins bulged, and he gritted his teeth, "To actually use such despicable means…"

"Is this a matter of being despicable? It's just that you're too naive, right?" Feng Bujue said, "On Earth, even elementary school students wouldn't click on this kind of pop-up."

"No matter who you are, if you think that a few missiles can defeat me, you are greatly mistaken!" Kuke didn't continue to talk to Feng Bujue on this topic, he instead said, "Destroying one or two of these bases is nothing, I still have fourteen similar ones…"

"Alright, alright, alright…" Feng Bujue interrupted the other party's self-exposure with a very fast, compassionate tone, "Please don't actively reveal information to me anymore…" Competing in strategy with aliens who had such poor EQ, Jue-ge couldn't help but feel a sense of guilt, "Even reported the specific numbers… From the looks of it… one was built in each country of the Slow Star Federation, right…"

"Wh… what…" Kuke was shocked and took half a step back, "What are you… What kind of deity are you… to even deduce such a thing…"

Feng Bujue slapped his face, "Deducing this kind of thing isn't much of an ability, right… Besides, I was just guessing, but your reaction directly confirmed my guess."

"Ah!" Kuke suddenly realized, then became angry again, "You dared to trick me!"

"I tricked you? I… why would I want to trick you? I…" Feng Bujue seemed to want to respond with something, but that kind of egg-cracking (I think this word can very well describe the extent of testicular pain) feeling stopped him from acting on this impulse, "Okay, okay… I was wrong." He returned to the main topic, "Anyway… I still have something quite important to tell you, which is…"

Jue-ge raised a hand and pointed it upward with his finger, "The shock you felt just now was just a positioning test shot, the real attack will arrive in…" He turned his head and looked outside the camera, "Uh… three seconds."

"Ah—" Kuke immediately screamed.

And those Kuke Army soldiers who heard the broadcast or were watching the screen with him also cried out in unison.

But as things stood, it was too late for them to do anything.

Before the cries of this group of people stopped, the second round… also the formal round of missile bombing had already arrived.

The Kuke Army's underground base was bombed into ruins and scorched earth from the inside out in less than a minute. The fuel, mechs, weapons, ammunition, etc. stored in the base were all turned into explosive enhancers.

…………

"It's like taking candy from a child." When the attack ended, Feng Bujue stood up from the control console of the Slow Alliance Command Center, muttering this sentence.

At this moment, behind Jue-ge, were six heroes with complex expressions.

They all looked at this Poker Man with a strange gaze, and the same question arose in their hearts—is this guy really a hero? Are you sure he's not a super criminal undercover on our side?

"What's wrong?" Jue-ge asked, looking at them.

"Uh…" Dr. Biubiu replied, "I never thought… that General Kuke, who has been fighting against us for many years, would actually… be defeated so easily…"

"Yes, when you look back after doing many things… you will find that it is not difficult." Feng Bujue replied.

In fact, Jue-ge's strategy was not complicated. He contacted the government of the Slow Lei Kingdom and informed them of the coordinates, time, and method of the missile strike. Then he asked Dr. Biubiu to write an implantation program that could close the other party's defense system (for the Doctor, this was a piece of cake, which could be done in a few minutes). After that, he asked the Seductive Woman for a photo and asked the Doctor to use the photo to make an advertising pop-up style virus program.

The problem is… with this level of planning, the Slow Star people couldn't even imagine it. Because their general logic is like this… Although we know the location of the Kuke Army's base, they have a missile defense system, so we don't need to think about missile attacks; although we can write a program to close the other party's defense system, they have a firewall, so we don't need to think about cracking the intrusion. And so on…

As for advertising pop-ups, phishing software, bundled programs, etc., although they are things that can be easily completed technically, they just can't think of such ideas.

As a knowledgeable Earthling (objectively speaking, Earthlings have indeed seen a lot of terrible things that people on other planets can't even imagine), Feng Bujue had already read some information about the Slow Star people on the spaceship; after arriving at the Slow Alliance, he heard the story of General Kuke, and through communication with the heroes, he roughly grasped the personality and behavior patterns of the Slow Star people. Therefore, he planned such an operation.

"Oh, right." At this time, Feng Bujue remembered something again and continued, "Are there any other difficult super criminals on your planet? I'm here anyway, so why not clean them all up."

The tone and expression he used when he said this were very similar to the kind of "cousin who is a few years older than me, doesn't come over much, doesn't even know his full name, but is very good at playing games" we encountered when we were young.

During the holidays, this kind of person would appear in your home, using either a domineering, disdainful, or narcissistic gaze, and easily complete various action games that you couldn't beat, on the pretext of playing games with you, and pointing out various mistakes and shortcomings when you played. Then he would check the progress of all the RPG games you were playing, comment on your team, spoil the plot and ending of the game, and explain hidden props, gameplay, or bugs.

In that simple, happy, and pure age called childhood, before the popularization of the internet… we were robbed of our respect time and time again by this kind of person.

Even today, in this era where you can see complete game guides by opening a webpage and typing on a keyboard, the tall image of these guys has not changed at all, because after I have read the guides, I feel even more… that those who can explore or remember these information on their own back then are really amazing.

"Well… there are some." Dr. Biubiu hesitantly replied, "But are you sure you want to…"

"Let me see their information first." Feng Bujue interrupted the other party, but his tone was still quite polite.

The heroes of the Slow Alliance were all a little at a loss after hearing this. A few seconds later, they all turned their heads to look at the nearby Hard Man… This planet-level hero had been left aside for a long time. Originally, he should have been the real protagonist of this operation, but unexpectedly, Jue-ge had strategized in the tent, and strangled a C-level crisis in the cradle. This made the Hard Man lose his chance to perform.

"Uh… since Poker Man said so…" Hard Man knew that the five people were looking over to wait for him to make the decision. After all, he was the highest-level hero here, "I don't think there's anything wrong with it." He paused, "I haven't scheduled any other tasks in this cosmic year, so I'll just stay here and sit here. If there is any emergency, it can be handled in time."

With Hard Man's words, the five of the Slow Alliance had no more scruples.

Dr. Biubiu immediately said, "Okay, Poker Man, wait a moment, I'll adjust the data for you."

"Thank you." Feng Bujue responded, and then turned to Hard Man and said, "Senior Hard Man, can I trouble you to go back to the spaceship and report the mission results to the Alliance? It would be more convenient to report the information directly from us than to send information from here."

"Uh… okay." Hard Man hesitated for half a second and replied, "Speaking of which… we might be able to break the record for C-level crisis handling time this time…" As he spoke, he had already turned around and walked out.

"Wait." At this time, Police Man stepped forward and said to Hard Man, "I think… it's better to be cautious."

"What do you mean…" Hard Man replied in a deep voice.

"It's better to go to the scene to check the situation in person and see the specific situation before making a report." Police Man said.

"That's right." Somersault Man also followed up, "I'll go with you."

"Me too." The disfigured Man's hoarse voice followed.

So, these few people boarded the spaceship with Hard Man to confirm the results at the scene. Feng Bujue stayed in the command center of the Slow Alliance to check the data that Dr. Biubiu had sent. The Seductive Woman went to communicate with the governments of the Federal countries to stabilize the global situation after the incident.

It seemed that everything was proceeding in an orderly manner, but…

…………

At the same moment, East District Twenty.

On the scorched earth, a big hand broke out of the ground, followed by an arm, shoulder, head, trunk…

Thirty seconds later, General Kuke, covered in bruises and looking extremely embarrassed, climbed out of the soil.

As mentioned earlier, Kuke has an unusually strong body (for a Slow Star person), and he also has superpowers. Therefore, even though he was buried alive in the ruins of the underground base, he still did not die.

With his amazing strength and will to survive, and under the protection of his superpowers, Kuke dug upwards, finally returning to the ground a few minutes later.

"Haa… haa… bastards…" The first two things Kuke did after seeing the light of day again were panting heavily and cursing, "One day… I will make you pay."

"Heh… the lament of a loser." Suddenly, a voice came from not far behind Kuke.

Kuke was immediately startled when he heard the sound, because part of his superpowers included perception ability. If someone got within ten meters of his radius, he would definitely be able to feel it. But at this moment, he couldn't sense the owner of this voice at all.

"Who?" Kuke endured the pain in his body, quickly stood up, and suddenly turned around.

He saw a humanoid creature emitting a golden-red glow all over its body and with an appearance resembling a dried corpse standing in front of him.

"You took great pains to dig me out of the ground, but you don't know who I am?" the creature asked.

"You… you are…" Kuke realized something, and then he trembled uncontrollably.

"That's right." The creature took over his words, "It's me." He paused, "Although I have been imprisoned in 'that', I am very clear about what is happening outside." He shook his head, "I have to say, you are very stupid…"

Hearing this, a trace of anger flashed in Kuke's eyes, but he didn't interrupt, because an indescribable sense of fear made him unable to open his mouth.

"I'm not some kind of frozen animal, the equipment you prepared, and the so-called 'awakening program,' are completely unnecessary." The creature spread its arms, "As you can see, you only need to use weapons to forcibly destroy 'that' and let me out. Anyway… I am immortal…"