In the "real world," I used to enjoy playing games a lot. When I had free time, I played computer games, and later, mobile games. Back then, I was full of energy and tirelessly researched various game guides, plots, and characters. Every time I completed a rewarding game mission, achieved a rare game achievement, obtained an item with great attributes, or cleared a challenging game dungeon, and so on, I would experience simple joy.
As I became a seasoned corporate drone, I deleted games from both my computer and phone.
These games were no longer "games" because they could no longer bring me relaxation and happiness.
When I opened a game, the daily recurring tasks that popped up felt like clocking in at the company. Clocking in at the company at least came with tangible salary as a reward, while the login rewards in games were just虛假 (xūjiǎ - fake) data. The thought of this left me feeling hollow, and the initial joy dissipated like smoke.
Why was I playing games? What was the point?
In the end, I kept a few popular games on my phone, needing them as common talking points so I wouldn't feel out of place when others discussed them.
With a numb mood, claiming login rewards, I could truly understand players who requested "one-click sweep" or "auto-pathfinding" features. It was more comfortable to lie down and do nothing than to play games.
I had no desire to pursue any game items that were too difficult to obtain, nor did I intend to compete with other players for rankings or character strength. If a game required too much time, I felt fatigued. I merely mechanically performed the act of grinding game dungeons, watching game data grow without emotion. Perhaps I was still reminiscing, still missing the happiness games once brought me.
Games can still bring joy; news reports about minors irresponsibly charging games with their parents' bank cards are common. It's me who has changed; I find it hard to feel joy anymore.
Sometimes, when my mood was at its lowest, I wouldn't eat anything. Only when the hunger became unbearable would I casually prepare something to fill my stomach.
I remember one time I thought I was very hungry and cooked a double portion of instant noodles. After eating more than half, I suddenly felt too full, almost to the point of nausea, and my stomach hurt for a long time.
Later, I improved my eating habits. I usually ate light meals. When my appetite was so poor that I couldn't eat anything light, I would prepare spicy hot pot, using the intense flavor and richness of the meat to fill both my stomach and my soul.
This was what I concluded: the principle of experiencing happiness is to first fully savor suffering and endure it constantly.
With the goal of "participating in work soon and completing 999 tasks," the current skill-upgrading path in this "isekai game" is quite appealing.
Ah, so I wasn't tired of games, but rather I cared more about actual benefits and losses, not wanting to expend energy on things without returns. Yes, if I had to categorize myself, I'd be that super boring adult.
However, a super boring adult can put in more effort, more focus, and more determination than preparing for the college entrance exams when faced with sufficient foreseeable benefits, gritting their teeth and moving forward without hesitation. Otherwise? I knew I had no other path.
Clear self-awareness allowed me to have no distractions; this is the advantage of an adult mind.
And Illumi was ultimately a child who hadn't grown up, his mind not as mature or stable as mine. I learned from Kikyo that his recent training hadn't been smooth, and the reason was rather... childish.
So, Kikyo, for the first time, held me up as an example in front of Illumi: "Illumi, look at your sister. She doesn't even flinch when she rips out a heart."
"But..." Illumi gazed at the animal heart in my hand, frowning slightly. "There isn't only one way to kill a creature."
Do you think he was resistant because he found this method cruel and bloody?
No, his reason was so childish that even I found it so.
He said, "This is so dirty."
Let me clarify, he wasn't referring to "dirty" in a spiritual sense, but rather in a physical sense.
According to the original setting, one of the Zoldyck family's signature assassination techniques is "Heart Steal."
The Zoldycks, through generations, passed down the skill of "hand transformation into claws." They were adept at piercing their targets' chests with sharp fingernails to extract their hearts. Those who reached the pinnacle of this skill achieved extreme speed and accuracy, capable of extracting a target's heart without causing a single drop of blood, hence the name "Heart Steal."
This skill setting is truly cool. When first demonstrated by Killua in the original work, it left a deep impression on all readers, becoming a famous scene, endlessly discussed and rewatched by countless fans, myself included.
Oh, my youth has suddenly and inexplicably returned!
Having the chance to experience a famous scene firsthand, I couldn't help but feel excited, my motivation reaching an unprecedented high. I practically poked every animal I could reach in the entire back mountain.
Although my hands, transformed into claws, looked unappealing with their bulging veins; although practicing the claw transformation initially required dislocating each finger bone to get accustomed to it; although my initial nails weren't as sharp as imagined and broke; although there were many unexpected setbacks and familiar pains in the process, enduring them meant I could experience the Zoldyck's renowned "Heart Steal" skill and live out the original plot. In terms of the outcome, it was still very blissful.
Every time I successfully extracted a heart, I checked my skill level. Unfortunately, the skill level was not easy to raise at all. After finally practicing until I could extract a complete heart without any mess, my skill level had only increased from 1 to 2.
Based on my exploration so far, I have reached the following conclusions regarding the data standards for skill levels:
1. Skill Level 0: The level displayed when officially starting training courses, indicating an unlearned state.
2. Skill Level 1: Learned the skill and can use it.
3. Skill Level 2: Increased skill proficiency, reaching a level of moderate skill.
4. Skill Level 3 and above: Determined by skill proficiency, with the maximum skill level unknown.
5. The current highest skill level is [Gritting Teeth: Level 9]. I didn't deliberately practice it; it rose from Level 8 to Level 9 unintentionally, likely due to the pain experienced in other training sessions boosting this skill's level.
6. If continuous training is lacking, some skill levels will decrease. For example, [Starvation] dropped from Level 6 to Level 5. Fortunately, Kikyo cannot see my skill levels; otherwise, she would surely put me through retraining, which frightens me.
Fortunately, Kikyo isn't bothering me right now; she's consumed with trying to fix Illumi's psychological issues.
I heard that Illumi showed clear discomfort the first time he pierced an animal's chest and was splattered with blood.
The negative impressions left by a movie from several years ago festered. He felt disgusted by the sticky blood and flesh clinging to him. If his future work required him to do this, he felt he might not be suited for it.
What? Illumi, you actually dislike your main job? You're not authentic!
"This is our family tradition! No exceptions!" Kikyo's voice became piercingly sharp when she got emotional. "It's splashing everywhere because you're not proficient enough!"
Yes, Illumi, you refuse to learn the Zoldyck family's heirloom skills. You're not an authentic Zoldyck. You have a problem. I, on behalf of the majority of original fans, condemn you.
"Look at your sister!" Kikyo placed her hand on my shoulder. "She doesn't think there's anything wrong!"
Holding an animal heart and acting as a role model for once, I nodded firmly.
"..." Illumi looked at me without wavering. "Sister, don't you find the scraps of flesh stuck between your fingers difficult to deal with?"
"!" He hit the nail on the head.
But I'm also a beginner! What can I do about it! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
"I believe that as long as the goal can be achieved, the method is not important," Illumi stated righteously. "Therefore, I want to use a method that suits me better..."
What? At such a young age, you're still concerned with personal preferences? Are you really acting like a spoiled young lady? I'm the only young lady in this family, okay?
"No!!!" Kikyo interrupted Illumi, assertively assuring Silva, who was beside them, "Dear, please rest assured! Leave this matter to me!"
"No, I didn't come for this," Silva said. "I wanted to personally witness Millus's training, and also..."
He paused intentionally for a moment before continuing, "Diligence is a good thing, but you've used up all the 'materials.' The next batch of 'materials' won't arrive until tomorrow."
Oh, it was mentioned before that Kikyo highly encouraged anything that promoted her children's assassin education. Seeing my enthusiasm for training, she was naturally overjoyed. Her accommodating actions made her forget the consequence of "addicted to leveling up," and she had farmed all the available experience points. When other players entered the dungeon map, they found it completely empty, with no levels to grind.
Kikyo was stunned for a moment, then laughed with ease and joy. "Oh, I'll be mindful. So, about Illumi's matter..."
As she reached the latter part of her sentence, her tone deepened, and her pressure subtly increased, giving the impression of an impending storm.
She disliked her children not listening to her, let alone a situation like Illumi's near-defiance today.
As long as Silva didn't interfere, Illumi was doomed.
Thinking about it carefully, Kikyo couldn't do much to Illumi; at most, she could whip him or electrocute him, things I was accustomed to. Illumi, having undergone professional training for so long, would likely be difficult to subdue.
In that case, Illumi might not become an authentic Zoldyck, lacking the original flavor, causing a butterfly effect and making future plotlines unpredictable?
If he has a problem, I must help correct it and set everything back on track!
Here it comes, my first sense of mission!
I gently tugged on Kikyo's sleeve and mouthed, "Should we throw Illumi into a cesspit to train him?"
Kikyo's electronic eye screen flickered, and the red indicator light turned green again.
The air suddenly fell silent.
Don't... I hate it when the air suddenly falls silent the most.
Silva and Illumi didn't speak, but they were both looking at my face—I knew they could both read lips.
"Oh, Millus," Kikyo sighed.
Is it coming? According to the original setting, Kikyo should be happily saying, "You've become so cold, Mom is so proud!" or something similar.
"Girls shouldn't have such vulgar thoughts," Kikyo said, pressing her forehead.
"????" What? You've changed! You're not the Kikyo I imagined! You have a problem!
"A novel idea," Silva, one of the Zoldyck family's three top bosses, watched me with his beast-like vertical pupils. "Shall we entrust this to you?"
"?????" I shook my head repeatedly.
If I were to do it, it would only make Illumi my lifelong enemy! I just said it casually... Oh, no, the one suggesting it was me, so Illumi would still become my lifelong enemy.
I messed up again.
Just like in the "real world," I always made mistakes, hence achieving nothing.
Being a quiet observer and only looking after myself was my destined path.
"So you don't hate Illumi, right?" Silva asked.
"..." I didn't know how to answer, secretly suppressing a fear that came from nowhere and adopting a look of confusion.
Silva walked closer to me, and Kikyo, who was beside me, seemed to be observing me as well. Suddenly, I felt like everyone was very far away, as if separated by a thick, unbreakable frosted glass.
I was an anomaly; I didn't belong here. I strongly realized this.
"Since your sister, who usually doesn't speak, says so..." Silva stopped in front of me and turned to Illumi. "Although I want to respect your wishes, this concerns family tradition. Wouldn't you like to reconsider, Illumi?"
Due to Silva's change in position, I, Kikyo, and Silva were now standing together, with Illumi standing alone on one side, forming a "three-to-one" situation.
"..." Illumi wasn't looking at anyone in particular. His vacant eyes stared at a point in the void, likely deep in thought.
Hey, are you really going to challenge family tradition? Are you that stubborn, Illumi? ! ! ! ! !