Two caretakers were left to clean up the scene. After a cursory treatment of their wounds, we returned to the airship.
The atmosphere had remained somber since Shibe declared that both of us were "unqualified." As Shibe and Kikyo settled into their seats on the airship, Ilumi and I understood that trouble was brewing. We instinctively stood before them, awaiting instruction.
Although Shibe typically exuded the stern authority of the Zoldyck patriarch, it was a demeanor devoid of malice, without any specific target. Now, however, I could clearly sense his dissatisfaction, directed at Ilumi and my performance in the game.
For a superior who rarely lost his temper, his rare displays of displeasure were exceptionally intimidating.
I recalled how, in my "real world," I had feared teachers from a young age, and as an adult, I began to fear my superiors. I was a weak person, always feeling that if I offended them, my life at school or at work would become as miserable as it was at home.
When others put on a sullen face, I instinctively felt fear.
Ah, I've made a mistake again.
Whenever this happened, my "real world" mother would beat her chest, scold me vehemently, and then start dredging up the past, listing all my shortcomings. The problem was, I was useless, and my "shortcomings" were numerous enough for her to enumerate. Each "shortcoming" was like a small knife, accurately piercing my heart. I longed to kneel and beg for her forgiveness to end this mental torment, but that would only add fuel to the fire.
Aside from not making mistakes, I always wanted to know how to dispel her anger and keep her happy. But I was too stupid and too useless. The answer I came up with was money. She said it was the greatest insult and contempt. Thus, I never truly figured out the answer until the very end.
Among her habits, the one I detested most was that recounting past mistakes was her prerogative. If I ever did it, it was tantamount to forcing her to die.
"Do you think I don't want to change, being this way?! What else do you want?!"
"My biggest mistake was giving birth to you... No, actually, it's me who should die. If I had died sooner, I wouldn't be suffering like this now. You wouldn't be either."
"..." I just wanted to run away, to escape forever, preferably to end it all.
Or perhaps, if I were an animal, a rabbit, I could live by eating the grass that grew everywhere. At other times, I could burrow into my underground den and not have to worry about anything.
It's alright, I can do it. I can endure it. I've been scolded so many times, I should be used to it. As long as I endure it, and she feels better, she'll return to being the gentle, loving mother I know.
Whether it's being whipped or being told I'm worthless, I can endure this time too.
At worst, I'll just die.
Everyone dies, sooner or later. Death is my best destination.
Quietly clenching my fist and diverting my attention to observing the health bar, I felt the stone in my heart lighten.
Looking down at the floor, the dialog box, which moved with my gaze, was reflected on the ground.
"I respect your different personalities and ways of doing things, but there are some fundamental issues that need to be clarified early on," Shibe paused. "Look up, Muer. I'm not lecturing you. Right now, what we need to do is review the game we just played together and clarify our behavioral guidelines."
"..." Gritting my teeth, I looked up, my gaze fixed at the level of Shibe's nose.
"I will ask the questions, and you will provide the answers. Don't hesitate. This is just an exchange of views, and I won't blame you if you answer incorrectly," Shibe said.
"..." In these situations where parents ask you to tell the truth and promise not to blame you, never tell the truth foolishly. Your honest answer will often become the best material for dredging up the past, to be repeated endlessly in the future.
The scene was so familiar that my scalp tingled.
"Let's start with a fundamental question," Shibe asked, "What is the Zoldyck family's modus operandi?"
What?
The Zoldyck family's modus operandi?
I don't know. No one has ever taught me this, and the original work doesn't seem to mention it.
I only know that each member of the Zoldyck family has their own style. As a family unit, I don't know how to summarize it.
Ilumi answered first, "Ensure a one hundred percent success rate for any mission."
Direct and to the point. As expected of the most outstanding student of the Zoldyck private school. Yes, isn't it precisely because of this reputation of "mission guaranteed completion" that the Zoldyck family is renowned?
"What do you think, Murs?" Shibe looked at me.
Ilumi had already given a perfect answer. With such a shining example before me, I couldn't think of anything else. My mind went blank.
"I..." I opened my mouth and hesitantly used lip-reading to say, "I think Ilumi's answer is correct."
"No, no matter what Ilumi answers, you should have your own thoughts. I don't have many questions, and I have plenty of time. You can take your time to think."
"..." It seemed that if I didn't give a different answer to satisfy him, Shibe wouldn't let me off the hook.
"This is an important question. I don't want you to lie."
"..." I clasped my hands tightly.
I disliked telling the truth when others demanded it. Often, they didn't actually want to know my real thoughts; they just wanted to hear the standard answer in their minds. My actual answers were usually unlikable, even annoying, and never led to good outcomes. Telling the truth came at a price. I'd rather give up thinking altogether, pretend to be deaf and mute, and be obedient.
"Are you afraid of me, Muer?" Shibe asked.
"..." I lowered my gaze.
"This child is a bit..." Kikyo started, but for some reason, she stopped.
"You defied me before, and I thought that despite your sensitive nature, you were actually brave at heart. It seems I was a bit mistaken," Shibe's tone turned commanding. "Look me in the eyes and answer the question, Muer. I'll ask you again, are you afraid of me?"
My "real world" father had also asked me this question. I said I wasn't afraid, but he saw through me, saying he knew I was always afraid of him and that I was uncomfortable in his presence.
Perhaps I was afraid of him getting angry, perhaps I was afraid of him blaming me, perhaps I was afraid of him disliking me... In the end, they divorced, my father had his own new family, and my father was no longer in my life.
Even my ordinary father could tell I was lying, so Shibe, the Zoldyck patriarch, was even less likely to be fooled by my falsehoods.
He used a commanding tone, making it clear that he would have the truth from me.
Clasping my hands tightly, I bit my lip and held out for a long time before meeting Shibe's eyes and nodding with difficulty.
"Does the power of language hold such sway over you? You're not afraid of getting hurt, nor are you afraid of death, yet you fear words, so much so that you're unwilling to speak. As long as you're willing, you don't actually have to be a mute," Shibe placed his hand on his knee, his tone softening slightly. "Come here, Muer."
I obediently walked to his knees.
"Extend your hand," Shibe held out his right hand to me.
His hand was large and heavy, heavy enough to crush me, a small fry, with a single slap.
How many people's blood had this hand been stained with? How many hearts had it crushed? How many restless spirits of the dead had it entangled?
"..." As if possessed, I took out the chocolate candy from my pocket and placed it in the palm of his hand.
Perhaps this was like Halloween, where I was attempting to send away the "evil spirits" knocking at the door with candy, even if the candy contained devilishly spicy chili... That was Ilumi's doing; it had nothing to do with me.
"Not this," Shibe said with a hint of helplessness. "Your hand."
"..."
As I took the chocolate candy from his palm, he bent his fingers and enclosed my fingers, without applying any pressure, as if I could retract my hand at any moment.
"Muer, after so many years as professional assassins, what do you think our family values most?" Shibe didn't wait for me to answer and immediately provided the answer: "It is reputation, transactions, contracts, and vows."
"Here, I can make a vow to you, Muer," he tightened his grip on my fingers slightly.
This was the first time I had touched his hand.
How much blood had this hand been stained with? How many hearts had it crushed? How many restless spirits of the dead had it entangled? Yet, this hand also possessed warmth.
"From now until we return home, during this period, no matter how you answer my questions, I will not blame you, ever." He met my gaze. "We are family, and you are my child. I don't want to order you; I just want your temporary honesty, okay?"
"..."
Could I trust his words?
Among his words, the word I trusted the least was "ever."
I had heard others make vows more than once. Sometimes they were false and untrustworthy. Sometimes they were true but had an expiration date. Ultimately, vows often became empty – people's hearts are fickle.
Considering Shibe's position as the Zoldyck patriarch, and with two family members as witnesses, Shibe's vow, while not quite "worth a thousand pieces of gold," could certainly be called "worth nine tripods of bronze."
I recalled how in the original work, he made a vow with Killua, "to never betray friends." Later, Killua used this vow to demand the use of Alluka, the family's top secret, to save his friend. Despite his reluctance, Shibe agreed.
Therefore, his vow had about ninety percent credibility.
With my abilities, I couldn't deceive him with lies.
If I acknowledged his vow, I truly wouldn't be able to lie anymore.
If I chose to persist, would he really tolerate my willfulness?
Let's get a clear understanding of my capabilities.
The Zoldyck patriarch, your biological father, has spoken to this extent. He's said all the nice things. Don't be foolish and ruin a good situation.
So, I mustered my courage and nodded solemnly.
"Good child," Shibe released my hand and patted my head. "Then let's continue answering the previous question. What is the Zoldyck family's modus operandi?"
Ilumi's answer was "Ensure a one hundred percent success rate for any mission." As for my answer, I had never thought about it, nor paid much attention to it when reading the original work. I needed to think carefully.
After much contemplation, I arrived at an answer. Unfortunately, it was the kind of unappealing answer that I would never utter under normal circumstances.
However, I had promised to tell the truth, and I dared not challenge Shibe's lie-detection abilities. After all, according to the original setting, Ren users like Shibe were the type most adept at lying and most skilled at detecting lies.
"..." Facing Shibe's serious expression, I struggled to form the answer with my lips, "...We take money, not people?"
No, no, I can't. I actually "said" it. I actually "said" something so offensive to the Zoldyck family in front of the current Zoldyck patriarch. It was no less than exposing the principal's toupee in front of all the teachers, students, and the principal. The psychological pressure was immense!
"..." I quickly lowered my head and stared at the floor. The floor was my best friend.
"Is that so?" Shibe suddenly laughed. "Including throwing Ilumi into the latrine, Muer, you always have some interesting ideas."
"..." You flatter me too much. This is not interesting at all; it's just speaking carelessly and offending everyone.
From Ilumi's perspective, he couldn't see my lip-reading. So, Shibe repeated Ilumi's and my answers. "Ilumi's answer is 'Ensure a one hundred percent success rate for any mission.' Hmm, Murs's answer is 'We take money, not people.'"
Don't repeat it so seriously! Compared to Ilumi's normal answer, my answer is even more embarrassing!
From the corner of my eye, I saw Kikyo raise her hand to cover her mouth, which had fallen open in surprise.
"..." It's over, it's over, I'm finished.
I was too naive; I shouldn't have easily agreed to tell Shibe the truth. I hadn't expected that my answer would also make the other two Zoldyck members present feel... awkward.
"Neither of your answers is incorrect. However, you haven't touched upon the most fundamental aspect," Shibe waved his hand, signaling me to return to my position next to Ilumi. "The answer I want to tell you is—Discretion."
"We are not murderers, and we don't need to prove anything to the world or propagate anything. We are assassins. Killing is just our job. What we need to do is to perform our duties well and provide a satisfactory conclusion to the client. Other matters are none of our business and should not be. Therefore..." Shibe continued, "Except when necessary for the job, we do not kill innocent people. Not only is it unprofitable, but it can also cause unexpected trouble, which is a risk we need to avoid as much as possible."
"This time, Murs was the one who made the first move," Shibe looked at me. "Did you know that 'ability for stealth operations' was one of the assessment objectives for this game?"
I nodded.
"Then why did you choose to act?"
"...For convenience."
"And Ilumi?" Shibe asked.
"I also found it more convenient," Ilumi was stubborn and, unlike me, was happy to express his true thoughts. "These people are all weak, and they are on the fringes of society. No one will care if they die."
I wasn't mistaken. This brat Ilumi indeed has a typical antisocial personality.
"Don't just judge people by their appearance," Shibe said. "Ilumi, can you guarantee that you can accurately judge someone's true identity and background at a glance?"
"No," Ilumi replied.
"So this is your arrogance, Ilumi. Many people, especially masters, are skilled at disguising themselves. Recklessly provoking people unrelated to the mission will eventually lead to a downfall."
"Mm, I understand. I was wrong." When facing someone several levels above him, Ilumi conceded defeat very quickly. "I won't make the same mistake again."
"As for Murs..." Shibe gazed at me. "You think too little in this regard. You are too reckless and haven't considered how to protect yourself or the possibility of a clean getaway. We don't need you to be a suicide squad member. If you can't complete a mission alone, you can cooperate; there's no need to sacrifice your life unnecessarily. And Ilumi, the situation is the opposite of Murs; you are too concerned with gains and losses and want to escape unscathed. While there's nothing wrong with that, sometimes, without paying some necessary price, you'll miss a rare opportunity."
Shibe's analysis plunged Ilumi into thought.
At this moment, Kikyo spoke, "Also, Murs, how could you casually pick up food from the ground!!! Are you planning to take it back to eat!!!!"
"..." I'm sorry, I actually had a little bit of that thought, just a little.
"You even broke your hair in front of Mama! Oh! Murs, how could you break Mama's heart like this!!!!" Kikyo clutched her fan. "Are you prepared, Murs!"
"..." Is it too late to prepare now?
"And you felt killing intent towards Ilumi again," Kikyo said. "During the first encounter, right? Haven't you forgiven Ilumi yet? How do you really see Ilumi?"
"..." Terrible. The surveillance cameras are truly terrifying.
"Our initial intention in having you compete was for you to improve together. We didn't expect it to turn into this situation. You shouldn't be enemies; you should be irreplaceable family," Shibe smoothly picked up Kikyo's words. "Muer, I also want to know how you view Ilumi."
He propped himself up with one hand on his knee, slightly bent, assuming a posture of listening.
Kikyo and Ilumi were also looking at me.
"..." I was in a difficult position. I forced my lips to move and answered with lip-reading, "A piece of trash."
All three of them were a bit surprised, but no one got angry.
"Then what about me?" Kikyo asked me. "Muer, do you like me more, or do you like Papa more?"
"..." No, this deathly question wasn't it asked years ago?!
I wanted to answer with silence, as I had done last time. But Shibe also showed interest, "No one will blame you, but feel free to speak, Muer."
No, Shibe, you promised not to blame me, but Kikyo and Ilumi didn't!
If I offend the Mistress and the Eldest Young Master of the Zoldycks, will I still be able to get by in the Zoldyck household?
In this situation, I can't afford not to lie!
"Muer, we made an agreement, temporary no lying, right?" Shibe proactively reminded me, which in other words, blocked my escape route.
"...Ba." I dared not look at Kikyo or Shibe. I chose to lower my gaze and look at my dearest floor. "...Papa... I guess?"
After Kikyo gasped, to my surprise, she didn't scream. Her voice became even gentler. "Muer, what do you like most about Papa?"
"..." This is even more deadly than the last question!
I sneakily glanced at Shibe. He was looking at me with a "loving father" (couldn't think of another description) expression, with a slight smile, "Tell me? Muer."
My cheeks flushed, or as they say, "my old face turned red."
Can I say that I actually like being patted on the head by Shibe?
That's too embarrassing!
"I'm also very curious," Ilumi, without fail, butted in, "Why does sister see me as a piece of trash?"
Don't you have any self-awareness about why you're seen as a piece of trash?!!!!!!!!!!
"No rush, Muer. Answer slowly, one by one," Shibe patted my head.
"..." How did it turn into a one-sided "truth or dare" for me?!