If my first hawk was my childhood sweetheart who grew up with me,
then my second hawk was a comrade-in-arms who fought alongside me, or rather, a fellow patient.
I recalled the last time I was together with New Orleans. Zeno had forbidden me from training and ordered me to recuperate. At that time, New Orleans' problem was needing to lose weight. Then we solved our respective problems around the same time.
This time, we were together again, and even our illnesses were the same: both collapsed from hunger.
So cunning, Chiba.
You knew my weaknesses so clearly, yet you said you couldn't win.
"..." I was the one who surrendered.
Chiba's words exceeded all my expectations, to the point that I was willing to overlook the opportune timing of New Orleans' appearance at the infirmary door.
Their willingness to invest thought and time proved, at least, that they didn't treat me lightly.
Chiba and Kikyo stayed by my bedside, from when I fell asleep until I woke up.
It was like a scene from a fictional work.
I...
I didn't even get this kind of treatment in the "real world," so this place is indeed an illusion, a projection of my delusions.
I no longer knew what to say.
It was my own selfishness and willfulness, like a不懂事 (ignorant/unreasonable) and worrisome child, resorting to extreme behavior to gain parental attention. It was too childish, too embarrassing, a disgrace.
All I could say was "I'm sorry."
All I could say was "I'm sorry for making everyone worry."
All I could say was "I'm sorry for delaying Dad's work."
"Work isn't something only I can do; it's okay to hand it over to others temporarily," Chiba's brows relaxed slightly. "I can stay with you for another day."
"..." No, I can't bear it. I'll surely lose years off my life.
The head of the Zoldyck family's time is precious and cannot be wasted on the meaningless and extremely boring act of "watching a patient lie in bed doing nothing all day"—it would make me self-loathing and hinder my game objectives.
In a battle of masters, any moment can determine life or death. With the slightest hesitation, I would never be able to defeat Chiba in the future.
"Dad, you should go watch Illumi train," I mouthed. "I'm much better now. I'll keep working hard."
"Illumi is on a mission with your grandfather. Meru, you need to make a different request."
I could earn more experience points and Jenny from this.
Everyone else was progressing smoothly, but I was lying here.
My hand, hidden beneath the covers, quietly clenched.
"..."
"Speak your mind, Meru. What do you want?"
"..."
"..."
"...I... I want to go too." I knew I couldn't lie to Chiba. My skill level was too low; he could see through my lies.
"That's a given. You would have gotten it even if you didn't say it. This one doesn't count. Make another request."
"..." I held my breath, trying hard to think of a suitable answer.
Until the oxygen level in my body dropped so low that I could no longer endure it. I took a breath and, steeling myself, said, "...Can you... pet my head?"
Chiba placed his hand on my head. His hand was large and heavy, pressing me down.
"I would have done it even if you hadn't asked." Unlike the heaviness of his hand, Chiba's petting motion was gentle. "This one doesn't count either. Make another request."
"..."
After he withdrew his hand, I "said" I wanted to see New Orleans.
This time, he didn't say "Make another request," and I breathed a sigh of relief. I truly couldn't think of any other reasonable request.
New Orleans, after treatment, was placed in an incubator to rest. After this ordeal, its feathers seemed to have lost some of their luster. I quietly pressed against the glass of the incubator and watched for a while before intending to return to my room.
Chiba asked me what I planned to do next. I "said" I should do rehabilitation; the neglected training needed to be caught up quickly.
He said that my enthusiasm for training was just like Illumi's, that we were both too sensible.
Alas, it's precisely because of the existence of an excellent student like Illumi that I dare not fall behind. Not just in the Zoldyck family, but in this world, strength speaks for itself. If I want to make something of myself, diligent leveling is the only path.
"Meru, you still don't understand how to make requests. Everything you say is something that should be taken for granted." Chiba stopped walking. "This isn't being 'sensible,' it's avoidance. You're always being considerate..."
His words trailed off. I felt the pressure of his gaze and resigned myself to looking up, meeting his eyes.
"Can't you trust me?" Chiba squatted down and placed his hand on my shoulder. "I haven't forgotten our promise, I just don't want to rush things. I don't want to discourage you and make you lose confidence, nor do I want to go too easy on you and make you feel disrespected. Actually, I'm more eager for your challenge than you are, which is why I'm willing to wait."
A chill spread from my feet to my entire body, as if I were encased in a giant block of ice. I was frozen stiff and couldn't breathe, only able to stare with wide eyes, continuing to meet Chiba's gaze.
"Meru, I know you're serious, so I will be more serious too," he added. "This is what I believe is the best response to your demands."
"Not yet. You're too young," he judged objectively.
He withdrew the invisible pressure he had exerted on me. That pressure was exceptionally cold and piercing, and my fingertips felt numbly cold.
However, I was certain that this was far from Chiba's true limit.
Controlling the force to not step on an ant was truly arduous.
An ant challenging an elephant was indeed absurd. Although Chiba's words made sense, I was still a little displeased. Why were the explanations so late? How could that be worthy of my naive expectations and hesitation back then... I'm truly sorry, I'm an idiot for not grasping the true meaning.
"Before that, as compensation, may I ask you to make another request?"
"..." I clasped my hands together, warming my cold fingers with my warmer palms.
A close-up of the Lion King's face, his hard features, sharp vertical pupils, and majestic aura made me nervous and fearful, my heart beating faster.
"..."
Other than asking him for a large sum of pocket money, I couldn't think of any other normal requests.
"..."
I couldn't possibly say I wanted to personally experience his max-level [Heart Steal] skill, could I?
Not a drop of blood would be shed, yet my chest felt empty. What would that feel like? Just thinking about it made me inexplicably excited.
I wanted to see him holding my heart in his hand.
His assassin skills were top-notch in the world. My heart would be lost so quickly that my body probably wouldn't even register the fatal wound. I should be able to confirm this scene before my vision disappeared.
A child's heart is smaller than an adult's, and his hands are so large. My heart in his hand would probably feel about the size of an egg, wouldn't it?
Then he would crush it, and it would burst, with red juice.
Damn it, I imagined too much and got a little too excited.
I clasped my hands tightly, gritted my teeth, and stopped myself from showing a strange smile.
"..."
It's over. Imagining things can't be stopped just because you want them to. It spiraled out of control, and I lost any normal thoughts.
"..."
I had to raise my hands and slap both my cheeks to clear my head.
After coming to my senses, I decided to surrender decisively and not waste any more time. After all, I wasn't lying; I genuinely couldn't think of any normal requests.
Asking Chiba for another pet wasn't appropriate either; repeated requests wouldn't be approved.
I figured I had hesitated long enough. Admitting I couldn't think of anything shouldn't seem like I was being perfunctory or evasive. So, I shook my head, indicating I had no requests.
"You said earlier that you also wanted to go on missions. Hmm, rather than expecting to go on missions, you actually expect to go out more, don't you?" Chiba asked. "Do you want to go out with me?"
After a brief moment of surprise, I nodded.
Although my true objective for wanting to go on missions was experience points and money, being able to go out with Chiba and gain some experience was beneficial and harmless.
To maintain my anticipation for new experiences, I didn't press Chiba further about what the outing was for. I changed into casual clothes and stepped out of the main residence with him.
Kikyo disapproved of me going out when I wasn't in optimal condition. However, after a stern glance from Chiba as he was leaving, she shut her mouth and entered another state of excitement.
In the original work, when Killua showed her a cold glare, she also became extremely excited. She was particularly susceptible to that kind of behavior. I thought she might be a masochist.
I wondered if I should also practice a similar fierce glare. When Kikyo got excited, her attitude would soften.
Well, this skill is somewhat practical. I can practice it every morning while looking in the mirror.
Our route deviated from the airship hangar and led us to the back mountain.
As it turned out, my decision not to ask Chiba for spoilers beforehand was the right one; I experienced the joy of surprise.
Finally stopping in front of a magical beast, I knew that no matter what we were going out to do, I had already profited immensely.
A dragon!
It was a mount used by Chiba and Zeno on a mission in the original work. Its massive size embodied the Zoldyck family's consistent style of keeping pets. It had a long body and three pairs of wings, capable of flying above the clouds. Its appearance was dragon-like, exuding a high level of prestige and coolness. Perhaps because this mount was too flashy and eye-catching, it only appeared once in the original work. Generally, the Zoldyck family still used airships as their mode of transportation.
When I was young and exploring the back mountain map, I had seen this dragon before. Like other "pets" kept by the Zoldycks, it wouldn't attack its masters, but like most Zoldyck "pets," it had a cold personality. Every time I saw it, it was dozing. Petting it yielded no reaction; it completely ignored me.
Just as most pets in the "real world" are perceptive of people's moods, this pet was also discerning. It was dozing off, but it quickly opened its eyes and stood up, likely sensing Chiba's presence.
How infuriating! I was discriminated against by a "pet"!
"We'll ride it to go out," Chiba said.
My feet suddenly left the ground. Chiba grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and, with a leap, I landed on the dragon's back.
The dragon's back was covered not with scales, but with fur. It felt rough to the touch, similar to dry grass.
After the dragon took flight, it flew quite steadily. It was a decent mount, but the wind at high altitudes was a bit strong, and the temperature was a bit low. I felt a bit cold without Nen protection.
I absolutely couldn't say I was cold. The Zoldycks specialized in curing all kinds of delicate sensibilities. Cold, heat, or pain all had to be endured without showing it, otherwise it meant insufficient training.
If Chiba were standing in front of me instead of behind me, his strong physique would surely block a lot of the wind for me.
Standing would cause heat loss to be faster. I remained seated, hugging my arms. This posture could reduce heat dissipation.
We were getting further and further away. Kukuroo Mountain became a small dot, disappearing into the sea of clouds. I raised my hand, trying to touch the clouds in the sky. This was something I couldn't touch with ordinary transportation; there would be a layer of glass blocking me.
Even though I knew, and now experienced, that clouds were essentially condensed water vapor, not soft cotton like they appeared from the ground, the actual sensation was different from the descriptions in books. I couldn't waste this rare practical opportunity.
Being within the clouds felt like fog. I couldn't see what was nearby, only what was in the distance. Only the slightly cool dampness let me know of the clouds' existence.
The weather was clear, with few clouds. I could lean out from the dragon's back without obstruction, looking down at the land. I didn't have to worry about accidentally falling. The current head of the Zoldyck family was beside me; he wouldn't be unable to keep an eye on even a child, or he could die of shame.
Kukuroo Mountain was on the continent's landmass, not far from the sea. Before long, I saw the boundary between the coast and the sea. The dragon's flight altitude began to decrease, but not all the way to the ground. I felt my collar being pulled, and Chiba, holding me, made a parachute-less landing.
Oh, the powerhouses in this world didn't like to wait for their flying vehicles to land properly; they liked to perform a "leap of faith." Very good, very powerful, and very contrary to the physical laws and human strength of the "real world." I wanted to try it too someday. Overcoming years of common sense from the "real world" was quite difficult. I had to start with lower heights.
"It's very expansive, isn't it?" Chiba looked towards the end of the sea. "We want to protect you, and your mother does too... especially worried about you. I thought it would be fine for you to stay at home as much as possible until you could be independent, but I neglected your feelings and made you bored, didn't I?"
I thought he was going to say, "The Zoldyck family's conquest is the sea of stars." However, the Zoldycks did indeed have ambitions towards the Dark Continent across the sea. The Dark Continent held countless treasures of immeasurable value. Successfully bringing back even one item could have a huge impact on human society. It represented the future of all humanity, so choosing it as a conquest was not wrong.
Oh, can I say that I didn't think that much about it? It's just like in the "real world," I felt bored intermittently.
"If you don't say it, I can't guess what you're thinking, Meru," Chiba looked at me, waiting for my answer.
"...I didn't think that much." Lying here would be unwise, so I chose to "tell" the truth.
"And then?"
"..." I'm not a character with profound thoughts; I don't have sufficient motivation for every action. Often, I'm just driven by emotional impulse, with no deep meaning to interpret.
I'm sorry to say I suddenly wanted to try something.
"Try what?" Chiba asked.
"...I don't know." I didn't know what I wanted to try either. "I don't know."
Even if I weren't mute, I was a clumsy speaker in the "real world." I didn't know how to answer and embarrassedly lowered my head.
Silence, awkwardness, and embarrassment were the atmospheres I was best at creating. It was the same in the "real world." My social interactions always failed. Casual chats online were slightly better, as I could carefully consider each reply before sending it. When I didn't know how to respond, I could use emojis as a universal reply.
I thought that sending a playful dog emoji to break the ice would be good, but I couldn't.
I pressed my feet down, burying the tips of my shoes in the sand. If I could, I would bury my head in it too, like an ostrich.
I'm a stubborn and troublesome person, which is why I dislike interacting with people.
A forward force was applied to my back. I was pushed forward a step. I looked up at Chiba, the source of the force.
"Go look at the sea, Meru," he said. "In the future, you'll go to many places, see various sceneries, and understand that the world is vaster than this sea. Ultimately, you'll realize that home is the place where you can find peace."
The sea tide pushed white splashes like clouds, repeatedly washing over the black reefs and untrodden beaches along the coast.
Peace?
The sea is the origin of life. In the "real world," I thought about it. After death, cremation and scattering the ashes into the sea would be the best outcome, and I wouldn't have to worry about cemetery fees. Although donating my body would also eliminate cemetery fees, I wasn't that noble. Even my corpse, even for purely medical purposes, being seen naked by others was too embarrassing.
In the "real world," I had only seen the sea once. Unfortunately, my luck was bad. Not only was there terrible traffic on the way, but upon arrival, the weather turned cloudy, and the coast was sealed off. The sea I saw through the guardrail was completely different from the azure or emerald green in pictures; it was dusty gray, like the river water I had seen, which disappointed me for a long time.
Seawater itself is colorless and transparent. The color of seawater that people see is actually the color of the light reflected by the sun from the water. This means that when the sky is clear, like today, the sea will display the vibrant colors described in books and pictures.
After walking a few steps, I looked back at Chiba. He nodded at me, so I took off my shoes and continued forward.
The tide gently washed over my insteps.
Walking forward, my calves were submerged in the seawater.
Walking forward, my clothes got wet.
Walking forward, my elbows got wet.
Cupping seawater in my hands, I had wanted to do this for a long time. It was a wish unfulfilled in the "real world"—I wanted to taste the seawater, to see if it was as bitter, salty, and astringent as described online.
Taking a small sip, ah, it's real. The descriptions online were accurate.
Opening my fingers, letting the seawater drain, I continued to walk forward.
That time I went to the seaside in the "real world," this was my plan: to walk step by step into the sea.
They say drowning is extremely painful, but isn't almost all unnatural death painful?
What a shame, fate intervenes. The weather that day was very bad.
Walking forward, the seawater reached my neck, and my feet had already left the ground.
Swimming is a fundamental survival skill. The Zoldycks wouldn't not teach it. In the "real world," I never had the chance to get in the water, so I, an unable-to-swim duck, inevitably learned how to swim. To drown myself reasonably, I had to swim further and further away... No, not this time at least.
The head of the Zoldyck family was present. His speed was definitely faster than my drowning speed. Don't do anything foolish that would make people laugh.
Besides, I have to work for the Zoldycks to repay my debts, don't I?
If I die today, my wolf's heart, no, my conscience would ache.
I swam back. Just as my feet could touch the ground, a wave from behind hit me. I didn't have time to escape and was engulfed.
It's over. I'm soaked from head to toe.
I instinctively looked towards where Chiba was standing. He slightly turned his head, as if he were smiling.
"..." I decided not to go ashore. I would practice swimming and holding my breath more.
Even with the huge figure of Chiba standing on the shore, he had restrained his aura. If I didn't look at him, I couldn't feel his presence, making it easy to imagine that I was alone here.
Illusion or not, I wasn't forgetful. However, without any immediate pressure, I couldn't help but indulge myself a bit, expending all my energy in the sea.
The sun on the horizon was setting, and it was time for me to leave too.
Wiping the sand stuck to my feet, I put on my shoes and walked up to Chiba, who stood there like a statue. He shifted his gaze to my face.
"..." I remained silent.
"..." He also remained silent.
Either break out in silence or perish in silence. I had to break the silence first, "...Let's go?"
"Where to?" he asked.
"...Home." Where else would I go?
My whole body was drenched. I wanted to get home quickly to change into dry clothes.
"Did you have fun?" he asked.
"..." I nodded vaguely.
"Let's eat something before we go back," he asked again. "What do you want to eat?"
I almost blurted out "Whatever," just like in the "real world," but thankfully I stopped myself.
Such a casual answer that requires no thought might seem perfunctory, right?
Because I'm not truly indifferent; for example, I don't like eating offal.
What to eat?
This is a seemingly simple and casual, but actually very profound question. It's a multiple-choice question with countless options. My answer will reflect my personality, preferences, emotional intelligence, and level of thinking in all aspects. It's a test from Chiba, worthy of careful consideration.
Thus, I fell into deep thought.