Back in the university dorms of the "real world," my roommates and I once debated a question: eighteen years old, adulthood, what did it mean?
Education is a sieve; encountering individuals with advanced thoughts in an ordinary university is a low-probability event, so we didn't arrive at any discussion-worthy conclusions, eventually falling into cliché, merely wishing for the removal of restrictions on activities limited to those over eighteen.
Oh, right, that's when I realized I could openly watch works rated for ages eighteen and above.
No, not openly!
Wouldn't it be weird to watch with anyone?!
Although we later found some resources and even shared them a few times, we all wore headphones, watched alone discreetly, and didn't discuss our thoughts. It was anything but open.
Before entering university, I only knew how to bury myself in studies. After entering university, I fell into a daze. Whether for good or bad, I never did anything out of line, living a life so ordinary, so by-the-book. What a boring youth.
Watching the youth on TV, filled with laughter and tears, and then thinking of my own laughter and tears, which were almost entirely related to exam scores, it was so dull. Yes, the signs were there long ago; I'm a very uninteresting person.
I just watched the seemingly exciting things on the screen.
I just watched.
I knew they were all fake, or at least, nonexistent to me.
The dreamlike time ended when Killua dodged my palm.
"I'm not your pet!" Killua, having just emerged from confinement, turned his head and walked away.
He had received some punishment during his solitary confinement; blood had stained his clothes. He would probably go wash up and change first. I tried to maintain such thoughts, but I still couldn't ignore another feeling within me—Killua's reaction left me feeling a bit hurt.
"..." I hated this feeling.
It's just an RPG; I shouldn't get too invested.
"Mohl." Kikyo placed her hand on my head. Though her words were meant to be comforting, her emotions were contrary to mine. She sounded as if she were solely doting on her favorite son. "You weren't home earlier and didn't see how much of a fuss Killua caused because of Alluka's punishment. The reasons can be forgotten, but lingering emotions can't be immediately resolved; the state will be a bit unstable. It can't be helped; this is just a minor side effect."
Whatever, don't get involved with an excited
Our distance was closer than ever before.
His final action surpassed my expectations, giving me a sense of losing control. So, I placed my hand on his shoulder. According to my rules, he should immediately cease whatever he was doing.
But he defied my command.
Regardless of the reason, his rude behavior truly angered me. My nails, which had been holding his shoulder, turned into sharp claws and dug into his flesh as he defied me, staining his shoulders red.
He didn't seem to feel pain, nor did he show any sign of panic.
His blood dripped down, landing on me, warm, a little warmer than the bathwater.
"Mohl." He panted softly.
"!"
With no time to think, my body reflexively entered a combat state. My clawed hand lunged towards his chest.