Picking locks and doors is a basic skill for thieves… cough, assassins.
Illumi's room lock was simple, easily opened with a piece of wire. It was practically just for show.
It was indeed just for show. After all, any intruder capable of reaching the main residence wouldn't be stopped by an ordinary lock. Locking the room was merely a warning that "unauthorized personnel are not allowed in."
Who cares!
This door, I'm breaking in!
If I could discover Illumi's unspeakable secret, I could threaten him endlessly afterward, bossing him around to do all sorts of things!
Of course, I'd back up the "secret." If Illumi were to take desperate measures and break family rules to secretly kill me, upon my death, the "secret" and the truth of my demise would automatically be disclosed to the Zoldyck family, leaving Illumi a super surprise "farewell gift."
Except for Maha's room, which I've never seen, I've been to the rooms of other Zoldycks many times. As I pushed open Illumi's door, the overwhelming sense of unfamiliarity that greeted me made me realize, at this moment, that the last time I entered Illumi's room was eleven years ago.
What does eleven years even mean?
Stepping into Illumi's room, I casually closed the door.
The little me, who was troubled by the fierce competition for basic cultural class scores, short of arms and legs, and would be carried back to the bedroom by parents to sleep, could now travel the world alone, carrying out tasks issued by the Zoldycks, and yet… still had troubles, only the content had changed.
Yes, as long as one is alive, one cannot be without troubles.
Eleven years ago, I came here to resolve the troubles of intense competition for basic cultural class scores.
Today, I came here again to resolve new troubles.
Thinking about it, most of my troubles are related to Illumi. This brat, only a year younger than me, is my natural internal competitor. He is not only exceptionally gifted but also full of malice, which is truly bothersome. What's most infuriating is that he killed my first hawk, and I was powerless.
"Just for a hawk?" "That's not right." "How can a mere pet, something like that, be placed above family?"
Alas, I remember it too clearly, don't I? Yes, I'm petty and hold grudges.
"How do you want to forgive Illumi?" "What must I do for my sister to forgive me?" "Milluth."
At that time, facing Silva's overwhelming suppression, the weak me was completely unable to move.
How about now? Although I'm trying hard to grow, Silva and Illumi won't foolishly stand still waiting for me to surpass them. They are also moving forward. Unless I can move faster than them, the gap will never close.
"When will I be able to kill them? At least, kill Illumi."
I shouldn't think about it. Thinking too much gives me a headache.
It's not Nen needles; there are no Nen needles. It's the mismatch between overly strong memory and mediocre thinking processing ability. Whenever I overthink, multiple related memories are awakened simultaneously. The vast amount of detail contained within them is difficult to process quickly. Just like a computer overheating from overload, I get a headache.
Covering my sweaty forehead, I closed my eyes, took several deep breaths to stabilize my mind, and then began to examine Illumi's room.
The butlers usually clean the rooms at nine every morning. It's two in the afternoon now, well past cleaning time, so there's no need to worry about anyone else coming.
Given the owner's personal preferences, some areas of the room would be off-limits to others.
Let me calculate how many days Illumi has been away from Kukuroo Mountain.
Oh, nine days. That's enough time for dust to accumulate.
The places Illumi doesn't want others to touch are my main focus for investigation.
After looking around, I found nothing suspicious on the surface. It was simple, clean, with standard basic furniture and decorations, no excess items that might display his hobbies. Like Illumi's inorganic eyes, it was a room that didn't reveal much of the resident's personality, flat and bland like plain water.
Hey, hey, this isn't just a temporary residence for an ordinary assassin in a movie. It's a stable dwelling place for the Zoldyck family that has remained unchanged for a century. There's no need to hide personal hobbies, right?
The "dragon" elements overflowing from Zeno's room, the "final boss" vibe pervading Silva's room, the piled-up elaborate decorations in Kikyo's room, the figurines almost filling an entire wall in Milluki's room, the toys that boys like, such as cars, monsters, and transformers, in Killua's room, and the dolls and other toys that girls like in Alluka's room—they all have their distinct characteristics and colors. As for Illumi, his room, a combination of black, white, and gray, is essentially colorless.
Even among the Zoldycks, who are difficult for ordinary people to understand, Illumi is an anomaly.
Having been together for nearly sixteen years, I still can't figure out his thoughts. His thought process is different from mine.
First, I'll check the trash can.
Empty, nothing there.
Unlike eleven years ago, Illumi no longer needs to read large volumes of books in a short period. The two rows of bookshelves that were previously there are gone. As far as the eye can see, the only books in the room are the two stacked on the desk: "Positive Discipline" and "Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment."
Positive Discipline? Just from the name, it seems like a book very suitable for Illumi, this control-freak master of operations. Moreover, "discipline" has a rather special, easily suggestive meaning.
However, the books Illumi would openly place on his desk are, as expected, not the strange books I imagined, but best-selling parenting books. Their core philosophy is to neither punish nor spoil children, and in a gentle yet firm atmosphere, to teach children valuable social and life skills.
The other book, "Attached," discusses the impact of early education on a child's entire life.
Considering the childhood trauma Illumi inflicted on Killua, I believe these two books are useless. At best, they would serve as negative examples, inspiring Illumi with elaborate ways to torment his younger brother.
I even flipped the mattress, but I found no other books in the room. https:/
What's going on, Illumi? Don't you read other types of books? Are you the legendary "mommy husband"?
It's unimaginable. At 15, the prime age of a high school boy, during his most restless puberty, his room has not a single book related to the secular world?!
Illumi Zoldyck, he's not normal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I hadn't personally confirmed that his hardware wasn't just for show, I would seriously suspect him of lacking certain functions.
What enlightened monk is he?
What's his dharma name? I'd like to know.
Even 9-year-old Milluki becomes exceptionally focused when sexy animated characters appear! Not to mention Nohara Shinnosuke, who understood how to appreciate beautiful older sisters at the young age of 5. Oh, apologies, that's a character from another production.
According to the original setting, Killua and Gon, who is of the same gender, will have a deep bond.
Although Alluka is biologically male, his self-identified gender is female. Would he also like men in the future?
So, among the Zoldycks, only Milluki is interested in (2D) females of the opposite sex. The continuation of the next generation of the family relies entirely on pregnancy stones, single reproduction, self-production and self-sale? No, don't count me. I firmly adhere to the non-marriage, non-childbirth route.
Oh, Silva, you need to do some serious self-reflection on why almost all your sons are gay—is there something wrong with you?
After searching Illumi's room thoroughly, I found nothing.
Because Illumi's room is simple, it doesn't take much time to restore it to its original state.
Looking at this room, filled with "asceticism," minimalist and restrained, I think Illumi might be frigid.
Frigidity is a disease. Illumi is indeed sick; he has the problem, not me.
I want to cure him, give him desires, create flaws, and then bring him down.
There's nothing that peak-level attractiveness can't save! Even looking in the mirror, I fall in love with myself!
To acquire some new knowledge, I accepted a Zoldyck mission. After completing it, I furiously binged on seduction techniques at an internet cafe. I believe, with the powerful boost of my peak-level attractiveness, even if my skills are rusty, they will produce extraordinary results. Moreover, "rusty skills" aren't a bad thing; they add a "purity" bonus. Maybe Illumi will fall for this?
It's been sixteen years. I've never looked forward to Illumi returning to Kukuroo Mountain to meet me so much! I want to let him know how formidable I am!
After receiving intelligence from a butler, I immediately infiltrated Illumi's room and used "Zetsu" to hide my presence, intending to create a "surprise" when Illumi opened the door.
Come on! Illumi! Be shaken! Be captivated! Fall!
I will destroy you from the inside out.
Finally, the door opened.
It was Illumi. Of course, it was Illumi. As he approached the door, I had already sensed his unmasked presence; there wouldn't be a low-level accident like "someone else opening the door."
My bare feet on the carpet, I stood two meters in front of him, wearing the jacket he wore last month. I was only wearing the jacket, the zipper stopped below my collarbone, and the hem of the jacket barely covered part of my thighs.
"?" Illumi was slightly surprised, pausing his action of pushing the door, and remained motionless. He might be surprised by my appearance, or by my presence, or both.
Online knowledge can't be taken literally; one must understand the essence and apply it flexibly, otherwise, it's impossible to deal with Illumi. Although online sources say a boyfriend shirt is most effective, considering Illumi only wears shirts when disguised for work, using his usual casual wear would create a greater contrast and impact, making him think of me more often.
He's already seven or eight centimeters taller than me, so his clothes would naturally be a bit loose on me. I curved the corner of my mouth towards him, raised my left hand, the slightly long sleeve covering my palm. I narrowed my eyes, the cuff covering my nose, as if sniffing the scent on it. The clothes, long since washed and dried, had no particular smell. I was just putting on a show, in short, "playing the game."
"..." Illumi blinked, seemingly regaining his senses.
He entered the room, closed the door, and took a step towards me.
"If there's something, can we discuss it tomorrow? I just finished a troublesome mission and really need to rest." He walked past me, ignoring everything else. "Good night."
Huh?
The completely unexpected turn of events left me dumbfounded.
If he's not moved, fine, I was mentally prepared for that. But he didn't even ask why I trespassed into his private room and wore his clothes?! He's not exactly a character with a "heart as vast as the ocean"!
By the time I turned my head, Illumi had already covered himself with the blanket, his discarded clothes draped over the back of a chair.
Huh?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
His sleeping posture was proper, lying on his back, covered by the blanket, eyes closed, the standard pose of a corpse in a morgue.
Breathing was the only difference between Illumi and a corpse.
The slow, steady breathing was a sign of sleep.
Hey?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fast asleep?!! What the heck?! I'm still here! There has to be a limit to ignoring someone!
It's okay, I still have Plan B.
I snuggled under Illumi's blanket, pulled his arm, placed his arm under my neck as a pillow, and wrapped my arms around him.
Damn Illumi, sleeping like a log.
No, professional assassins don't sleep like logs. Professional assassins always maintain vigilance. Illumi simply doesn't want to deal with me.
He holds my existence in such contempt that even when I tickle him, he just lies there and lets me do as I please.
"..."
There are quite a few people in the world who aren't afraid of tickling, and perhaps Illumi is one of them.
Breathing, only breathing, is something all humans cannot do without.
I covered Illumi's mouth and nose.
When his life was threatened, Illumi finally reacted. He opened his eyes, grabbed my wrists, moved them away, then let go, and turned to embrace me.
The distance suddenly closed. I instinctively raised my hand to shield my lips, leaving a hand's width between us.
In the "real world," I don't like kissing. It's strange. I enjoy watching handsome men and beautiful women kiss on TV, especially passionate kisses filled with desire. They make my blood surge, but I don't want to try it myself. The result was as uninteresting and sticky as chewing raw meat. When my lips were scraped raw, my resistance reached its peak. I hate men who haven't shaved their stubble. Stubble is painful! What can be done? Empathy isn't an easy thing to achieve.
And Illumi is likely the type with very poor technique; he looks inexperienced. In fanfiction, Hisoka is generally considered an experienced and highly skilled technician. He can make people so ecstatic with a kiss that they can't stand up. It even makes me want to try it. It's not for any other reason, just to see what Hisoka's technique is actually like.
With a hand's width between us, I could clearly see Illumi's fine eyelashes casting shadows on his eyeballs.
Perhaps truly in a state of fatigue, Illumi's eyes were half-open, giving him a lazy, un-woke, defenseless appearance.
His warm breath moistened the back of my hand. His lips parted, and a wetter tongue licked the knuckles where my hand met my fingers.
The arm around my waist tightened its grip, as if wanting to hold me closer.
I boldly advanced, bending my knees and pressing against his legs.
How far can he go?
How far can I go?
It's like a game between drivers competing in skill and courage. Two cars rush towards a cliff simultaneously; the one who brakes first is the loser. The one who falls off the cliff and dies is also the loser.
Of course, I won't choose to fall off the cliff. Illumi should be the one to fall.
Illumi flipped over and pressed down on me, our eyes meeting.
"..." I tried to discern a clue from his expressionless mask.
Don't just look at the surface. I know he'll say something disappointing. His illness isn't that easily cured. I'm prepared, ready for failure.
Not letting go of any momentary detail, I stared at him intently.
After failing to pull away my right hand, which had been shielding my lips, he lowered his head, his forehead and the tip of his nose brushing against my neck in sequence, before stopping at a kiss.
If I try to put myself in his shoes, considering Illumi's indifferent mindset, it's probably like gnawing on a duck neck... No, I can't belittle myself that much. I should at least be a swan's neck, right?!
I'm not interested in duck necks. Duck wings and duck feet are tastier.
Speaking of ducks, I prefer sliced duck to Beijing roast duck. With chili sauce, slightly stir-fried scallions, wrapped in thin pancakes, it's very fragrant.
Sorry, I got distracted. I'm a bit hungry.
Illumi's head rested against my chin, and when his hand landed on my leg, I was quite surprised. I don't know whether to call it victory in sight or if Illumi is truly a ruthless person willing to gamble with me.
Hmm, my reluctance to kiss him was too obvious. Even if he's slow, he'd realize I have ulterior motives.
To figure out my hidden intentions, Illumi might do anything... probably.
He's betting that I don't truly want to fall off the cliff, so he bit down on the zipper of my jacket.
His cool, black hair brushed against my chest.
The sliced duck in my mind lingered. I had to seriously consider whether sliced duck or Illumi took priority.
Oh, of course, "real-world" sliced duck is more delicious. This game doesn't have sliced duck, though there are similar dishes, but not the same taste.
I miss sweet tofu pudding.
Let's not debate sweet versus savory; it's just different regional tastes.
Don't blame me for thinking about so many miscellaneous things. In front of a cliff, maintaining calmness is the most important rule for victory.
Don't blame me for being hungry either. Upon receiving the news, I rushed over from the training grounds. I didn't have afternoon tea and didn't even have time to shower.
Illumi must have showered on the return airship, right? His clothes are clearly newly changed.
Hmm? So, am I the one who benefits more?
No, I really want to shower. In the "real world," I shower before and after. My OCD is acting up, and I can't help myself. If it weren't for this critical moment of vying for dominance, I'd have kicked Illumi away immediately.
When Illumi suddenly said, "Let's continue next time," my involuntary sigh of relief wasn't contained. It was a total failure.
A true man knows when to hold them and when to fold them. I didn't dwell on the victory or defeat and quickly retreated from the battlefield. I opened my game inventory and performed an instant outfit change. I was instantly impeccably dressed, though my hair was a bit messy.
With my back to Illumi, I [took out] a comb and tidied my hair.
"Don't wait for me in my room next time," Illumi said. "There's a hair on my side."
I turned around. He picked a silver-white strand of hair from the white pillow, which was hard to notice unless you looked closely. I reached out and took it, [collecting] it into my game inventory.
"Next time, go to the backyard," he said, holding my fingers.
"!" A w-wild? So stimulating?
Is he testing me?
Yes, he's deliberately being ambiguous. In reality, his body remains unmoved.
This is a chronic illness, a stubborn illness.
The familiar failure, the expected failure, my heart remained unmoved.
After speaking, he turned over and went to sleep with his back to me. Falling asleep immediately is his specialty.
Fine, this time it was indeed a bit rushed, and I wasn't fully prepared.
...We'll battle again another day!
After tidying my appearance, I exited the Illumi instance.