In the "real world," before sleeping in the dead of night is my best time to ponder life.
In this game world, electrotherapy in the interrogation room and lying on the Zoldyck sickbed are my two new best times to ponder life.
Lying on the sickbed, I quietly reflected. I thought Shaiapouf must not have imagined that the reason I blew up his lair was just a sponge cake. I thought Kikyo probably still didn't believe that the reason I went out was just a sponge cake. I thought I couldn't give Killua a sponge cake.
It was just a sponge cake, and I couldn't achieve it. I was too weak, still so weak at seventeen, unable to even leave the Zoldyck mansion. Tears streamed down my face. (Metaphorical)
After the fervor of battle subsided, I realized the worst-case scenario might be the Zoldycks completely forbidding me from leaving, locking me up, and no longer treating me as "family." Alluka in the original work had this treatment. The Zoldycks never showed mercy to those who caused trouble for the family; they were very cold.
Blasting Shaiapouf's lair and provoking Shaiapouf felt good for a moment, but thinking about the dark room afterward made me regret it immensely.
Taking out my phone from the game backpack, I opened the message interface, typed a few words and deleted them, typed and deleted again, like a lovesick teenager carefully choosing words to send a message to a crush (not really), but after half an hour, I still couldn't form a complete sentence.
If apologies were useful, what would be the point of police... no, assassins?
That's right! I have an idea! I've realized it!
The message to Shaiapouf will be written like this: Sorry, I was wrong, Dad, I'm very sorry! I will fully compensate for the explosion damage! Please send your account and the amount, thank you.
Don't give yourself a chance to hesitate, choose "send."
The message didn't mention "bill." I thought that even without a receipt, Shaiapouf, as the current head of the Zoldyck family, wouldn't stoop to falsely reporting the amount of damage, would he?
After waiting for a while without a reply, awkwardness and anxiety piled up in my heart. I covered my head with the blanket and stayed under it with my phone, shrinking the world into a quilt.
"..."
It's over, it's over, I'm finished. I made an extremely wrong choice. My RPG game life has come to an end here. Shaiapouf isn't even replying to my messages. Have I been blacklisted by him, removed from the Zoldyck household overnight?
Is it that serious, Shaiapouf?!
I only blew up a little. Your house is so big, and the area I destroyed is less than... huh, two percent of the main mansion's map?
Okay, I know money isn't the point, it's about pride. This is the third time. The current head of the Zoldyck family told me to stop, and I still went my own way, stubbornly refusing to change; I'm too disobedient.
"Möller." Kikyo arrived and pulled the blanket off my head. "How was it? How did it feel getting beaten by Dad?"
"..." Want to know? Go find Shaiapouf, you can experience it yourself, no need to ask me.
"Wasn't it great?" Kikyo covered her face with her hands, wearing a classic yandere expression of ecstasy.
"???"
Uh, Mrs. Kikyo, is there something wrong with your thinking, or is there something wrong with my hearing?
"You could have ended it quickly, but you patiently waited for the other party to express themselves, and then dismantled them one by one. You drained them of everything little by little, suppressing them in all aspects. Ah—this is the lifelong partner I've always dreamed of. It even excites me." Kikyo grabbed my hand and said sweetly, "It reminds me of the past..."
"..." Here it comes, it's about to start, Mrs. Kikyo's... memory is about to begin.
Several dog-food-spreading scenes omitted here. To summarize briefly, Kikyo tried to take a yandere route (wanted to do whatever she pleased), but after being subdued by Shaiapouf, he picked her up while she was still spitting blood and kissed her for the first time, a melodramatic love story.
Hmm? It doesn't seem too melodramatic? Are you also yandere, Shaiapouf (not really)? Is physical attack really the cure for yandere? Kikyo talked too much, and I got bored, which made it feel melodramatic.
After all, this was the first time Shaiapouf had beaten me into the hospital. Interpreting Kikyo's words, I think she probably meant that Shaiapouf didn't treat me as an enemy and beat me to death, but just a normal "teaching me how to behave.jpg" situation?
Okay, I understand. The Zoldycks are not like ordinary families; they have strict upbringing. Small mistakes are met with whipping, and bigger mistakes that land someone in the hospital are considered normal.
Since Kikyo didn't blame me for bombing the main house, I boldly handed her my phone to show her the message I sent to Shaiapouf, in case she could point out any inappropriate wording.
"?" After Kikyo understood my intention, she explained that the scope of the explosion was still being detected and organized, and the statistics would come later, when the specific amount could be determined.
"..." So, it's true that I'll have to pay for it. Hmph, I thought the wealthy Zoldycks wouldn't bother with such a small matter!
"Don't trouble Dad with such trivial matters. You can just tell Mom. Don't you know everyone in the family is busy with work lately?" Kikyo's usual scolding mode started again and again. "Möller, you're already seventeen, and you're causing trouble in such a childish way. How can you live backwards?! You used to be so well-behaved and obedient! How did you go bad and become so willful?"
"..." Wasn't it because I was weak before, and had to pretend to be good? Well, I know I'm still weak now.
"Seventeen, oh, Möller, have you grown up? No, you haven't. Have you become more sensible in your actions? XXX, who is younger than you, knows exactly the purpose of everything he does, can distinguish between right and wrong, and knows what to do and what not to do."
"..." Huh? Who is XXX? He sounds annoying.
"Look at you, Möller. You just act on your impulses, swayed by emotions. Impulsive, yes, that's a big problem for you. Calmness is the most important thing, otherwise, you'll lose your life during a mission. Do you know that? Do you want to die in confusion? Are you listening, Möller!"
"..." I reluctantly nodded perfunctorily.
"I'm increasingly confused about what you're thinking every day. Möller, if possible, I hope you don't keep anything from me." Kikyo stroked my face as if stroking an expensive vase in her room. "But I haven't pursued it relentlessly. I've been very lenient with you, giving you the maximum freedom. I'm only stopping you from going out because I'm worried you'll get hurt outside. Do you understand, Möller?"
"..." I don't know how much of her words are credible, but some of them do sound sincere.
I understand that she has been trying her best to be "my" mother. In return, I've also tried my best to listen to her. Whatever clothes she tells me to wear, I wear them. Whatever hairstyle she tells me to keep, I keep it. Whatever hairstyle she tells me to maintain, I maintain it. Whatever time she tells me to wake up, I wake up. Whatever mission she tells me to do, I do it. Whatever she tells me to stay at home, I stay at home...
I've already experienced the controlling nature of a dominant mother over her children enough in the "real world." I know the trajectory too well. We will resent each other in our hearts, accumulating resentment. When it reaches a tipping point, we will have a conflict due to some trigger, then argue, attack each other, hurt each other, and in the end, I will often beg for forgiveness in a low voice, reflecting on my mistakes and willfulness.
If I can't get forgiveness in time, I'm sure I will lose my mother forever. When she said she would sever their mother-daughter relationship from then on, her tone was so resolute that it pierced me precisely, causing me to lose control of my tear ducts. Then she sneered and contemptuously said that such a thing was useless.
"..." I don't want to experience it again.
Do I have the confidence to completely break with Kikyo?
Unlike the situation in the "real world," having provoked the current head of the Zoldyck family, if I offend the Zoldyck family matriarch again today, my RPG game life will truly be over. I don't know what kind of punishment I'll face. I'm still at a disadvantage, and I still need to appease the other party. Willfulness will do me no good.
I can only choose to be obedient.
I can choose to be obedient.
I'm already very skilled at playing the role of the obedient one.
If I pull out the thorn, I will bleed and feel pain, but it will be temporary, for the sake of the bigger picture. I shouldn't confront them head-on; I can't win against the Zoldycks.
There are many things I've concealed from the Zoldycks. The most important among them is the [Enhance] function of the "Game Backpack." I accidentally discovered this function not long after I withdrew money from my account to hide some of my financial flows and put a large amount of cash into the Game Backpack.
Items in the "Weapon" category of the "Game Backpack" can be [Enhanced]. The required materials are "Primary Ore" and a certain amount of cash. After satisfying all material requirements, I discovered the [Enhance] option when viewing the weapon's details.
The cash required for [Enhance] is related to the amount of "Primary Ore" used. The amount corresponding to each "Primary Ore" is 80,000 jenny. It seems cheap, but the [Enhance] effect of one "Primary Ore" is limited. It takes six "Primary Ores" to [Upgrade] a weapon to level 1. To the next level, the materials double, and the amount doubles accordingly.
Money is not a problem; assassins are a highly profitable industry, and it's not difficult to make money. The key is that the quantity of "Primary Ore" is too small. It doesn't spawn in ordinary maps, and once you [Collect] it, it's gone.
As a player who never misses any collectible items, regardless of whether they are useful or not, collecting them for later use is an unchanging truth of games. Currently, I have [Collected] 137 pieces of "Primary Ore." If I want to enhance multiple weapons, it's never enough, and I need to plan carefully.
As for the effect of [Enhancing] weapons, it's simple: it permanently increases the weapon's attack power. If you observe the weapon using "Ren," you can see that the "Nen" attached to the weapon itself becomes stronger than before [Upgrading]. I think this should be the special effect generated by the "restriction" condition in Nen ability theory.
When I normally use my usual dagger, I also use "Ren" to temporarily enhance the dagger's attack power. It's natural for the "Nen" attached to the dagger to become stronger. As for how much stronger, it depends on how much "Nen" I'm willing to expend. The weapon's attack power is uncertain, so others cannot know that the "Nen" attached to this dagger itself has been permanently strengthened.
Currently, I've tried to [Enhance] the dagger to level 4, consuming 90 pieces of "Primary Ore," increasing the attack power from 580 to 600. Don't underestimate this number; it adds up, and accumulation leads to great achievements.
To [Collect] more "Primary Ore," I've gone to mining sites several times under the guise of missions, still holding onto the expectation of finding "Intermediate Ore," "Advanced Ore," and so on. The results were that in different types of mining site maps, the collectible shining objects were all "Primary Ore," and the quantity wasn't much more than in ordinary maps. The highest record of "Primary Ore" collectible in one mining site map was 19 pieces.
The refresh rate of "Primary Ore" in mining site maps is about once a month. Moreover, as the mining sites are exploited, the ore resources decrease, and the amount of "Primary Ore" that can be collected will also become less and less. If I want to stably [Collect] "Primary Ore," I'll have to buy the entire mining site and stop its development. Anyway, since the collectible shining objects in different types of mining site maps are all "Primary Ore," I can buy the cheapest mining site.
Buying a mining site, the financial problem is secondary. The key is that if I buy a mining site with low ore output and leave it idle without development, it will easily arouse the Zoldycks' suspicion.
If they think cleverly, they might assume I have some secret related to the mining site.
If they think foolishly, they might think I have too much money and nothing to spend it on, as mining sites, no matter how cheap, require a considerable amount of money to purchase.
I don't want any of them to pry into my secrets, nor do I want them to think I'm crazy. Buying an entire mining site for 19 pieces of "Primary Ore" per month is too cost-ineffective. The world is so vast; I'll just collect from different mining site maps more often.
Now, my situation is very precarious. Forget going to mining sites; I can't even casually go out of the house. The Zoldycks may allow their children to have different personalities, but they won't allow complete freedom. For those who deviate from the central ideology, they will impose restrictions for easier control.
They won't kill me directly; this is their tenderness towards "family."
They choose to boil the frog slowly, letting me sink into it without realizing it.
The best way to destroy a person is to make them comfortable.
I've had too "happy" years. My work is smooth, I have food and clothing, my elders indulge me, and I can pet the cutest Killua cat on Kukuroo Mountain. In the "real world," I achieved nothing. Normally, how could I have such a smooth and wonderful life?
...It's all fake.
The Zoldycks built a glass greenhouse for me and isolated everything that could make me sober. Because the greenhouse is very large, I can't see the boundaries, so I thought it was my entire world.
I travel all over the world, appearing very free, but in reality, where I can go is determined by the mission location, and which mission I accept is determined by the Zoldycks.
Come to think of it, the trajectory of my game life has been almost entirely arranged by the Zoldycks.
This kind of arrangement is different from the arrangement Ging made for Gon in the original work. Ging hoped for Gon's infinite growth. The Zoldycks hope that I will grow according to their plans; they will decide my limit.
Although I've made "completing 999 Zoldyck missions" my main quest, and admitted that my belonging faction is the Zoldycks, once the fake happiness is exposed, it's hard for me to face this marionette-like life directly.
I am the "player." I should be playing the game, not being played by the game.
The only fortunate thing is that the Zoldycks haven't restricted me from learning "Nen." I can still work hard to improve my basic character stats every day. The lack of combat experience can only be made up for later if I have the opportunity.
"...Möller?" Kikyo is calling me.
"..." I came back to my senses.
"You child, you're zoning out again. You haven't listened to a word I've said!" Kikyo is very unhappy.
"Sorry, Mom, I'll be obedient and stay home nicely." I said with my lips, "Can you hug me, Mom?"
Seeking the master's caress is the primary means for pets to act cute towards their masters.
Kikyo falls for this. Yes, in a sense, I am her pet. This is the essence of her having extra favor towards me, and I'm self-aware of it.
Grooming hair, maintaining skin, dressing up carefully. Only beautiful pets can get more care from their masters.
Kikyo cradled me in her arms, stroking my carefully styled wavy long hair. Yes, my hair feels great, fluffy and silky. I'm proud of it; it's one of my biggest selling points as a pet, and I like touching it myself.
"Möller, my good Möller." Kikyo murmured contentedly while stroking my hair, "You must always... always be Mama's good child. Mama will never treat you unfairly."
Even so, after being discharged from the hospital, I still have to pay compensation for bombing the Zoldyck main house and face a month of confinement.
Shaiapouf, you are so heartless!
A month later, Killua had long forgotten about the sponge cake. He excitedly said that he found bombing the main house interesting and wanted to try it too.
Stop talking. I am the number one victim of "underage (next Zoldyck family head) protection mode."
I've been confined for a month and am starting to get moldy. I don't want any more trouble, so I've painstakingly written in my notebook, "Dangerous actions should not be imitated without professional training," and "I am a first-time offender, and my punishment is relatively light. If you do it again, Dad will definitely discipline you personally." The second sentence is my personal speculation, but as long as it scares Killua off, it's fine.
Shaiapouf has a high prestige value with Killua. At least on the surface, Killua no longer talks about bombing the main house. I hope it's the same in his heart. Amen.
Due to my good attitude in admitting fault, coupled with the pet affection points I've accumulated with Kikyo, Kikyo finally assigned me a long-awaited Zoldyck mission.
See? Being a sycophant is useful. The key is to have a clear goal and not get lost in self-感动. A sycophant who forgets their original intention will surely lose everything.
After hearing Kikyo's instructions, I looked at her with a completely bewildered expression and even pinched my arm, wondering if I was hallucinating.
"Bring back two at most, no more. Don't go too far; know when to stop." Kikyo said meaningfully, "Come to think of it, you're already seventeen. In my hometown, many girls this age have already had children. Just like I said before, Mom will support your hobbies, and I will help you get anything you want."
"..."
"Go, Möller. Pick whatever you like." Kikyo covered the lower half of her face with a fan and smiled softly, "Don't worry, this isn't just my personal decision; Dad also agreed to this."
"..."
This assassination mission is still to eliminate another rich person who has a feud with a wealthy person. The only difference is that the Zoldycks explicitly stated that I can take "toys" that the targets are keeping for entertainment back home to play with. The targets have many "toys" and don't cherish them much. If they break, they'll be disposed of casually. It's not strange if a couple goes missing. As long as no witnesses are left behind, it won't affect the Zoldycks' good reputation as professional assassins.
Huh? Am I that morally corrupt? Do they have a misunderstanding about my always upright nature?