Mers's hair was spread carelessly on the pillow.
A week had passed since she returned to her room in the Zoldyck family's main mansion on Kukuroo Mountain.
Burying her face in the pillow, Mers could still clearly recall Feitan's answer and declaration on that rainy day:
"Did you think I was someone easily satisfied, Mers?"
"No matter who you sleep with, you'll only call my name when you climax..."
"At least, it has to be to this extent."
"..."
Then, Feitan's lips touched hers.
No.
Mixed with rainwater, it was a wet, deep, almost suffocating kiss.
No more.
Mers tightly clutched Feitan's sleeve. Her heart pounded, but not with much excitement. It felt more like a quickening heartbeat due to the bridge effect.
She had reached her limit.
The next step was a cliff.
That's right, she was almost worthless. Before long, Feitan would also grow tired of her.
If she really wavered, Feitan would gain the upper hand. When Feitan grew tired of her, all the joy between them would turn into her one-sided shame and pain in the future, constantly mocking her naive trust and foolishness. Even killing Feitan wouldn't be enough to vent her hatred.
Unacceptable.
If you want to love me, you must love me, love me, love me, love me, always. The intensity of your love cannot decrease halfway, until I die.
Yes! It's enough until I die. After I die, you can love someone else!
She could accept that. She wasn't greedy!
Ah...
Even with this lowered demand, no one could fulfill it.
Mers could not bear betrayal and abandonment again.
Her mother's cold corpse still pressed on her heart, causing her heart to gradually lose warmth and become heavy.
Yes, if she refused to believe and refused to accept, she wouldn't feel pain.
That's right, this way there would be no problem.
Since the ending of betrayal and abandonment was destined, she had to take the initiative.
She would betray!
She would abandon!
She wanted to die before the person who loved her!
Wait, did anyone in this world really love her? That's too arrogant, Mers!
Then lower the standard. Lower it to "like"? Lower it to "have a good impression of"? Lower it to "care about"? Lower it to...
No, she couldn't think anymore. Don't think too carefully, don't...
She really wanted to die.
Mers's tears mixed with the rainwater. Only she knew about this.
Afterward, she told Feitan that she needed time to think.
To sort out her thoughts without any disturbance, she returned to the Zoldyck family's lair—the Zoldyck main mansion on Kukuroo Mountain.
Kikyo, having been worn out by Mers's capriciousness and erratic behavior, was now cautious. She didn't pry into Mers's inexplicably cut hair and abnormal state, nor did she interfere with Mers's actions of returning directly to her room and staying indoors.
Well, Mers's state had never been very normal anyway.
The Zoldycks seemed to regard her as an explosive device. Except for Kikyo checking her condition outside her room with "En" every day at 4 PM, no one even attempted to knock on her door to disturb her.
During this week, Mers seemed to have thought a lot, and yet perhaps not at all.
Constantly thinking, then rejecting, then thinking, then stopping herself from thinking too much, then thinking, then doubting, then thinking, then questioning, then... her mind became increasingly muddled.
When she reached the peak of her frustration, she had to comfort herself, pat her shoulder, hug herself, caress herself, and then...
When her mind went blank, she could find temporary relief, both mentally and physically, in every sense.
"Mmm..." she lay on the bed, biting her knuckles, her eyes a little unfocused.
She even wished Kikyo would push the door open and offer her more comfort. No, not necessarily Kikyo; perhaps others could too, even strangers.
What a terrible thought.
She started sucking her fingers like a baby, all ten fingers wet, her fingertips turning white and wrinkled.
She jumped up from the bed and paced around the room, moving without thinking.
According to the human stamina settings of this world, she could walk for a long time without feeling tired, a day and a night? No, far longer. So, she activated "Ken" simultaneously to increase her self-consumption rate.
When she was completely exhausted, she would lie down and do nothing, like a corpse.
She no longer wanted to think about time.
Even less did she want to think about other matters.
Now, she was more of a shut-in than Milluki, who hadn't left Kukuroo Mountain since he was ten. Milluki at least interacted with the butler and other Zoldycks, and ate with his family. But she didn't even step out of her room.
Relying on the abundant reserves in her game backpack, she didn't directly or indirectly contact anyone and didn't worry about food. As for water, the water from the faucet met potable standards and could be drunk directly.
It seemed that when her hair grew long enough to cover her shoulders, she, who had been mute since birth, finally learned to shout loudly without instruction.
Due to the special nature of their profession, the soundproofing in the Zoldyck family's main mansion was astonishingly good. Only by pressing an ear to the door and listening carefully to the sounds within could Kikyo hear her only daughter walking around and shouting in her room.
Kikyo listened with worry for several days, but heard no meaningful content. Mers simply called out "Ah... ah ah." She called out day and night until her voice became hoarse, and then Mers stopped calling.
Mers sat down, leaned against the door, and dozed off with her head hanging.
The doctor's advice was nothing more than injections and medication to suppress nerves and adjust her mental state with drugs. But Mers was extremely resistant to everything external. Not long after returning, she took out some tools from her game backpack and firmly sealed the doors and windows with steel plates. If anyone spoke outside, she would bang on the steel plates with a clanging sound, refusing to listen.
"..." Kikyo had not spoken much to anyone recently.
The Zoldycks generally did not require everyone to agree on a single opinion; instead, they each acted independently. This led to a deadlock within the Zoldyck family on the issue of "whether to proceed with forced intervention treatment or to follow Mers's own wishes."
Alluka also tried. He didn't understand "Nen." As soon as he approached the door, he was scared away by the malevolent "Nen" emanating from Mers, leaping back with a cold sweat, his cat fur standing on end.
Therefore, the Zoldycks' internal discussion about Mers also included the topic of "what kind of defensive measures to adopt."
The already somber atmosphere in the Zoldyck household became even more oppressive. Even Milluki's weight was affected, dropping several kilograms.
During this period, the Zoldycks received a commission to assassinate the current number 8 member of the Phantom Troupe.
This was a perfect opportunity to actually interact with the organization where Mers had spent a long time before returning home, perhaps there would be unexpected gains.
Although Silva believed Illumi had obeyed the order "do not actively contact Mers" and believed Mers's current madness was unrelated to Illumi, Silva refused Illumi's companionship and chose to carry out the mission alone—this old Transmuter felt Illumi was hiding something.
Before assassination, there was a necessary wait for the opportune moment.
The Phantom Troupe, as a rare criminal organization composed entirely of Nen users, indeed possessed some strength. Mers would not seem too out of place in this organization.
Silva and Illumi shared some similar thoughts, such as the Phantom Troupe's leader bearing a strong resemblance to the host Mers was once obsessed with, or that a certain member of the Phantom Troupe had attempted to take Mers away years ago, or that Mers's primary reason for joining the Phantom Troupe might not be the organization's strength.
However, unlike Illumi...
Silva thought that if Mers could gain enjoyment from the Phantom Troupe, if someone within the Phantom Troupe could become Mers's stabilizer, he might be able to accept it...
No, there was probably no longer such a possibility. Mers's current state was not optimistic.
It was just a pity that the assassination target this time did not include those two boys.
When the Phantom Troupe, fully assembled, separated to act, Silva found an opportunity to strike and aimed directly for the target's vital spot.
The target dodged the vital spot but was still seriously injured. Furthermore, with the Phantom Troupe's leader as an unavoidable obstacle, needing to deal with two opponents for one payment was an unprofitable business.
From the Phantom Troupe's perspective, losing a member so easily in front of their leader was enough for them to re-evaluate the Zoldycks' formidable reputation in the dark world.
"It seems that killer is Mers's biological father," said Chrollo after a brief exchange with Silva. "What an unignorable family—Mers won't be coming back."
"Hmph," Feitan closed his eyes. "I'm used to it."
She always left without saying goodbye, but life is full of encounters.
"If that killer is the former No. 8, no, the former former No. 8's biological father..." Phinks suddenly remembered something and called out to Shalnark, "By common sense, Shalnark, shouldn't you chase after him and call him 'Dad'?"
"We've already broken up," Shalnark shrugged.
"When!" Phinks was completely oblivious.
"If we're out of contact for more than three months, it's considered a tacit breakup."
"Alas, what a shame. I won't get to hear Shalnark call out 'Dad'."
"Phinks, I can get angry too."
"Fine, let's fight!"
Today, the Troupe was filled with the usual daily bickering.
Not long after, when the Troupe welcomed the new No. 8 member, Shizuku, Phinks couldn't help but complain that No. 8 might be an unlucky number.
Yes, the former former No. 8 had mental problems, the former No. 8 was assassinated not long after joining, and the current No. 8 had severe amnesia. In short, they were either short-lived or sick.
Although Shizuku's amnesia caused her to sometimes forget people's names and what she had just said, she still remembered crucial things, such as the Troupe's rules. Therefore, her amnesia was still within the Troupe's acceptable range.
By the time Mers emerged from her room, neatly dressed, half a year had passed.
She had meticulously combed her hair, and the bangs that had grown too long were clipped back with a hairpin.
Behind her, her room was in ruins; not a single item was intact.
[Player's affection for Shalnark is insufficient]
[Side quest "Shalnark's Rescue Plan" failed to unlock]
[Player's affection for Feitan is insufficient]
[Side quest "An Endless Summer" failed to unlock]
Thud, thud, thud.
The sound of high heels on the stone floor approached rapidly.
"...Mers!" Kikyo stopped, slightly out of breath.
This was not due to the exhaustion of running, but because of the intense fluctuation of her emotions.
Thank goodness, Mers was willing to leave her room and appeared relatively normal on the surface, which greatly exceeded Kikyo's expectations.
Kikyo cautiously stopped about two meters away from Mers, suppressing her激动 emotions, and then called out to her softly again, "Mers."
Mers turned her head and looked at Kikyo expressionlessly, as if she were spacing out. After a moment, Mers quietly walked over and rested her forehead against Kikyo's chest, listening to Kikyo's somewhat rapid heartbeat.
"...Mer," Kikyo slowly embraced her. "My Mer."