Lin Mei, how could she not remember this name? She laughed, suddenly feeling that her curiosity and worry just moments ago were a joke. He had barely finished making love to her before calling his confidante to ask if she had gone to sleep. After that call, would he then call Jiang Chubai, his nominal wife, to ask if she had a happy day?
Xing Zheng’s voice faded away, and Lin Mei lost interest in listening. She lay back down on the bed, pulling the covers around her body, shutting out the outside world.
“Is that all?” On the other end of the line, Wen Ke, who was working on her thesis late into the night, listened patiently to Xing Zheng.
Xing Zheng had just spoken at length, more than he usually did in a week, all because the matter involved Lin Mei. This gave Wen Ke a new understanding of his obsession with Lin Mei.
“Don’t be nervous. If it’s only to this extent, it’s not an episode. You’ve already had surgery, it’s not that easy to relapse.”
Even though she said this, she couldn’t reassure Xing Zheng. “But I couldn’t control myself just now. How do you explain that?”
“How else can you explain it?” Wen Ke was extremely helpless. “You have emotions, because you are human. Joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness are emotions everyone has. Even the most even-tempered person gets angry. This has nothing to do with your illness.”
Besides, Xing Zheng was hardly an even-tempered person. Did he have a misperception of himself?
Xing Zheng remained silent. Wen Ke asked again, “You don’t think all your negative emotions are because of Bpd and Bd, do you?”
“Aren’t they?” he finally spoke.
Wen Ke didn’t know what to do for a moment. Both sides fell silent. Wen Ke, being a consummate professional, quickly thought of what to say. “Everyone experiences joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness. You argued, you lost your temper, got angry, acted impulsively, and did bad things. This is all normal. You are no different from anyone else now.”
“For others to treat you as a normal person, you must first think of yourself that way. If you believe you are having an episode every time you have a negative emotion, then you will relapse sooner or later.”
“I don’t want to have negative emotions,” he told Wen Ke his thoughts.
Wen Ke seemed to hear a joke. “King, that doesn’t sound like you at all.”
He remained silent. Wen Ke continued, “Without the existence of negative emotions, positive emotions will also become meaningless. All those who try to kill negative emotions will eventually be killed by them. What you need to do is coexist with them, not eliminate them.”
After finishing the call with Wen Ke, Xing Zheng stood alone on the balcony for a long time. The night wind in Kyoto was cool. He was bare-chested and goosebumps rose on his skin. When he returned from the balcony, Xing Zheng saw the dog food in the shopping bag. He took it out, sat on the sofa, and examined it for a long time.
The next morning, when Lin Mei woke up, no one was beside her as usual. She didn’t bother to think about it. She got up and took a shower. As she came out, Xu Ying’s call arrived. “I’m at the airport. The flight departs in about half an hour. I’ll see you at the Kyoto airport.”
Lin Mei replied with a hum, “See you at the airport.”
“Why is your voice so hoarse? Do you have a cold?” Xu Ying asked with concern.
“No, I just woke up, my throat is a bit dry,” Lin Mei casually made up an excuse.
Xu Ying didn’t suspect anything. “Kyoto’s weather is dry, drink more water.”
After Lin Mei finished the call with Xu Ying, she saw Xing Zheng, dressed in a black tracksuit, standing not far from her. He was smiling, as if last night’s unpleasantness was her hallucination. Even under the loose tracksuit, his muscle lines were visible.
“Finished washing up?” He took her hand and said, “Let’s go eat.” His tone was like that of a couple in love.
Lin Mei, however, frowned. Another slap, then a sweet date. Did he think that a smile in the morning and having breakfast together would negate last night’s argument? Her body still ached!
Lin Mei shook him off, her face showing disgust. “Don’t touch me!”
“Fine, then walk yourself,” he was uncharacteristically patient, not trying to catch her again. He even told her the dishes, “Seaweed and egg drop soup, and pickled mustard greens with pork buns.”
Lin Mei ignored him. Xing Zheng followed behind her. Lin Mei had no intention of eating. When she reached the living room, she went to change her shoes. Xing Zheng blocked the doorway. “Eat first.”
Lin Mei said, “I can’t eat when I see you.”
She said words that would anger him, but he was like a different person from last night, even backing down. “I’ll wait for you in the living room. You go eat.”
Lin Mei wanted to scold him, asking if he was sick, being so unpredictable. Hadn’t he seen a doctor after returning to New York? “I’m going to the airport to pick up Xu Ying. Move aside.”
Hearing Xu Ying’s name, he should have been annoyed, right? However, he merely darkened his face and still did not relent. “After you eat, I’ll take you.”
Lin Mei thought she had misheard. She was going to pick up Xu Ying, and he would personally take her? When had he become so generous?
Without her needing to speak, Xing Zheng could tell she didn’t believe him. He promised, “You go eat first, and after you’re done, I’ll take you to the airport to pick him up. No later than that.”
Lin Mei eventually went to eat. Xing Zheng did not follow. Xu Ying’s flight was not due until after eleven, and it was only half-past eight.
Lin Mei ate her meal at a leisurely pace. When she returned to the living room, Xing Zheng had already changed his clothes: a white suit jacket, black tie, black suit pants. His suit jacket was draped over one arm, and he was twirling the car keys with his fingertips. Was he really going to take her?
“All done?” Xing Zheng said to her, “Let’s go, I’ll take you.”
Lin Mei remembered a dish in the restaurant and frowned. “Xu Ying won’t arrive until eleven. I can take a taxi myself. You should go eat. You don’t need to worry about my affairs.”
After saying that, she regretted it a little. Why did she have to mention him going to eat? Did it matter to her whether he ate or not?
Fortunately, Xing Zheng seemed not to have noticed this detail. Lin Mei saw him pick up a bag from the coffee table. She looked closely and realized it was the dog food she had chosen at the supermarket last night. As she looked on in confusion, she heard Xing Zheng say, “I’ll eat this.”
Lin Mei: “?” Her anger had diminished by more than half, but her brow furrowed even tighter. She had never heard of a precedent for eating dog food when having an episode.
Xing Zheng, however, asked with a smile, “Didn’t you say I was a dog and that I should eat this?”
Blaming her for his episode, Lin Mei ungracefully blurted out, “Then have you ever heard that a dog can’t change its ways!”
“Yes, I can’t change my ways when it comes to you.” As soon as he said this, he saw her face and ears turn red with shame and anger, just like when he had teased her before.
He laughed and pinched her ear again. It was hotter than her hand. He teased, “Sister Lin, you’re really fierce when you’re fierce, even scolding yourself.”
Lin Mei trembled with anger but couldn’t speak, so she went to put on her shoes.
The two soon got into the car. Xing Zheng handed the bag of dog food to Lin Mei to keep.
Lin Mei looked at it, and a desire for revenge immediately arose.