Xie Qin Jia was hysterical, her eyes red. It was the first time Xing Zheng remembered seeing Xie Qin Jia express any emotion towards him other than indifference, but the circumstances were so cruel.
Xie Qin Jia’s anger had not subsided, as if she had seen an enemy. She wanted to kill him, but Xing Sha pulled her aside. Xing Sha said to Xie Qin Jia, "Calm down, Ah Zheng is seriously injured!"
"It would be better if he died. Why wasn't he the one who died?!" Xie Qin Jia didn't care if he lived or died. Every word she spoke was like a knife stabbing into his heart. His mother wished him dead.
"My Ah Yan was killed by him. I shouldn't have listened to you back then and shouldn't have given birth to him. He is a scourge."
Xie Qin Jia cursed repeatedly, her emotions extremely agitated, and she finally fainted. Xing Sha took her out, leaving Xing Zheng alone in the hospital room.
It took Xing Zheng a long time to accept the fact that both Xing Yan and Xie Jin had passed away. Because they were in his car, Xie Qin Jia was not wrong. He was a murderer. He still remembered that his right leg was not injured because Xing Yan had used his left leg to block his body, sharing half of the impact for him. If it weren't for that, perhaps Xing Yan wouldn't have died, or perhaps he would have died with Xing Yan. Either outcome would have been better than the current situation.
The person who should have died was him. His existence in this world was a mistake. Even his own mother didn't anticipate his arrival. What was the meaning of his life? And her...
If she still thought of Xing Yan and found him gone after arriving in Nanjiang, she would surely hate him, this murderer.
In the evening, Xing Sha came to the hospital room alone. Xing Zheng remained silent. Xing Sha told him, "Your mother is temporarily unable to accept reality. The police have investigated, and the accident has nothing to do with you. You should focus on recovering."
It was clearly meant to be comforting, but he had already convicted himself as the murderer. How could he listen to such words?
"She's right, I should be the one who died." After a long silence, he finally uttered these words, devoid of life, having lost the will to live.
Xing Sha’s expression was complicated. Both were his sons. One was gone. If Xing Zheng also met with misfortune, he would never forgive himself. "Ah Zheng, you must live well. Ah Yan must also want you to live well."
"You are only eighteen, your life has just begun. Don't overthink things, focus on recovering. I will handle your mother, and I will absolutely not let her bother you again."
Xing Sha made such a promise, but Xing Zheng showed no reaction. Absolutely not letting her bother him again. In this world, perhaps no one knew how much he craved her attention.
After this conversation, Xie Qin Jia indeed never came again. Xing Zheng's injuries were severe, and he spent almost the entire summer in the hospital. He received his college entrance examination results in the hospital. His academic performance had always been outstanding, ranking among the top in the city.
After the results were released, Xing Sha came to ask him, "You scored over seven hundred this time, so getting into T University is not a problem. Where are you planning to apply?"
With this score, the admissions office should have already called him. Xing Sha did not usually interfere with Xing Zheng's choices, but the situation was special. Xie Qin Jia had already told him that she did not want to see Xing Zheng at home in the future. Their mother-son relationship was so strained that they had to find a way to separate. He couldn't let Xie Qin Jia leave, so Xing Zheng had to go.
He thought that leaving was a foregone conclusion, but unexpectedly, Xing Zheng said, "I want to go to Nanjiang University."
"With your grades, going to Nanjiang University is a waste!" Xing Sha said sternly. "Think carefully, don't act on impulse. Such a great opportunity..."
"I want to go to Nanjiang University," he repeated his choice, without the slightest hesitation.
Xing Sha became curious. "Why Nanjiang University? Because of your brother?"
Xing Zheng remained silent. Xing Sha took his reaction as an affirmation. He said earnestly, "Your mother is temporarily unable to accept what happened. It will be safer for you not to see each other in the future."
"So you want me to change cities to study, to be far away from you, is that it?" His tone was flat.
Xing Sha said, "This is a better choice for you too."
"My only choice is Nan Da," Xing Zheng was resolute. "No matter what you say, I won't change my mind."
It was the first time Xing Sha realized how stubborn Xing Zheng's personality was. Once he made up his mind, no amount of persuasion could change it.
Failing to persuade him, Xing Sha finally said, "After you start school, I'll buy you an apartment near the university and find a caregiver to look after you. You'll live there."
Although Xing Sha did not explain the reason, Xing Zheng guessed it. "She doesn't want me to go back, does she?"
Xing Sha showed a look of shame. "Ah Zheng, she hasn't been able to accept reality yet. Don't make things difficult for me."
"Arrange it as you see fit." Xing Zheng closed his eyes. "I need to rest."
Seeing that he had no intention of continuing the conversation, Xing Sha left.
After the door closed, Xing Zheng opened his eyes. He felt a drop of moisture flow to his ear. At that moment, he also wondered why he wasn't the one who died.
Death was the greatest release. If he were dead, he wouldn't have to face the cruel reality again and again. His life had never been welcomed by anyone.
From June to the end of August, Xing Zheng spent his time in the hospital. Shortly after receiving his admission letter, Xing Sha purchased an apartment for him in a neighborhood near Nan Da and had his belongings moved there in advance.
When he was discharged from the hospital, Xing Zheng was sent to the apartment. A caregiver looked after his daily life. When he went to report to the school, the caregiver and Aunt Wen accompanied him.
He was in a wheelchair, so he was naturally treated as a special case. People passing by would cast their gazes on him, but he never paid attention until he was collecting supplies and heard a familiar voice, "Dad, hold this for me."
He stopped immediately and looked in the direction of the voice. Indeed, he saw the figure that haunted his dreams.
After not seeing her for several years, she had grown much taller than when she was thirteen. She wore a white T-shirt and shorts, her hair tied in a bun. She was barefaced, yet her beauty could not be concealed. She had come to Nan Da as promised, was it to find Xing Yan?
He mocked himself. He saw her parents holding things for her. She took out a tissue and wiped her father's sweat. The family walked towards the dormitory, chatting and laughing.
That warmth was something he could never attain in his lifetime. He could only hide in the shadows, peeking at her.
Due to his injury, Xing Zheng did not need to participate in military training. Although he had collected his supplies, his mobility was limited, and he did not live in the dormitory.
After the start of the semester, the entire college held a freshman assembly. He saw her again at the freshman assembly. It was then that he learned she was also in the School of Economics and Management, though not in the same major.
There were so many people in the lecture hall, yet he could still lock onto her with one glance. She was so kind-hearted that, at the beginning of the semester, she had already made friends and was chatting and laughing with the two people beside her.