Chen Qi impersonated him, leading Lin Mei to mistakenly believe he was her rescuer. Their feelings then rapidly blossomed, and within half a month, they confirmed their relationship, even becoming a well-known romantic tale in the School of Business Administration.
He seemed possessed, consumed by rage yet unable to stop himself from having them followed. He watched them on dates, saw them being intimate, and witnessed her smiling so radiantly at other men.
Each time he saw a photograph, he would smash things. Later, he picked up smoking, going through a pack a day. After going abroad, he completely stopped taking sedatives. His sleep deteriorated, he began experiencing hallucinations and auditory illusions, and often felt an urge to self-harm.
He felt like a drifting, aimless spirit, and only the pain of near-death made him feel alive. He started seeking out that pain, initially by burning his skin with cigarette butts. Seeing the marks appearing one after another on his arm brought him a twisted sense of pleasure.
Later, it became even more extreme. He never mentioned it to anyone.
Until Christmas that year, when Shen Su and Gu Song came to Philadelphia to visit him. He hadn't expected them. It happened to be a holiday, and the entire city was filled with festive cheer. In such a lively time, it only made him feel more worthless.
When Shen Su and Gu Song arrived, they stumbled upon him self-harming. The bloodstains all over the bathroom floor and his condition left them terrified. Without hesitation, they took him to a private hospital.
Their attitude was also unprecedentedly firm. Especially when Xing Zheng said, "I'm fine." Gu Song yelled at him for the first time, "You're fine? Fine, you cut yourself like this? Next time, are you going to kill yourself directly?"
"This life of yours isn't yours alone! If you want to die, you have to see if Shen Su and I agree!"
Gu Song roared, but Xing Zheng didn't argue with him, merely looking out the window indifferently.
He seemed to have lost the desire to argue with anyone, which was not a good sign. Shen Su and Gu Song were very serious. The last time they took him to see a doctor back home, the doctor had said that if his condition wasn't adjusted promptly, it could very likely develop into depression.
Gu Song and Shen Su were mentally prepared for this and took him to see a doctor. Unexpectedly, the confirmed diagnosis was even more severe than depression: Borderline Personality Disorder, accompanied by Bipolar Disorder, with clear self-harm tendencies.
"Where are his family members? Treatment requires family cooperation." The doctor explained many clinical manifestations of the illness and prescribed medication, but when discussing specific treatment methods, he inevitably brought up the patient's family.
In the treatment of mental illness, social therapy and family therapy play a crucial role and are very effective. Patients undergoing these therapies are less likely to relapse after recovery. A sound interpersonal relationship, especially family relationships, is immensely beneficial for disease recovery.
However, Shen Su and Gu Song fell silent. After a long while, they finally explained Xing Zheng's family situation to the doctor, including Xing Yan's car accident and the reason he was sent abroad. Even the psychologist, experienced as they were, couldn't help but gasp after hearing his story.
Meanwhile, Xing Zheng, having been given a sedative, was asleep in the hospital bed and didn't hear any of this.
Shen Su and Gu Song informed the doctor of every detail about Xing Zheng. Due to the severity of the situation, they followed the doctor's advice and had him admitted to the hospital. When Xing Zheng woke up again, he was in a hospital room.
As soon as he opened his eyes, he tried to leave, but Shen Su and Gu Song pressed him down from both sides, "You can't go. It's safer in the hospital now."
"I'm not sick. Why should I be in the hospital?" He refused to comply and insisted on leaving.
"This is your diagnosis. Look at it yourself." Shen Su handed him the medical record. Xing Zheng saw the long string of unfamiliar English words. "What does it mean?"
"Borderline Personality Disorder, with Bipolar Disorder. You need medication and follow-up consultations now. If it's not controlled, it could be life-threatening. It's safer to stay in the hospital temporarily until you take medication for a few days." Shen Su reiterated the doctor's plan to him.
This diagnosis made Xing Zheng aware of these two illnesses for the first time. He had only heard of them before and never imagined he would suffer from such conditions. He stared at the medical record for a long time, then said to them, "Maybe it would be better if I died."
In this world, there was likely no one who wished for him to live. Even his own parents could ignore him, let alone strangers.
After Xing Yan died, he had been merely surviving. Xie Qin Jia was right; it would have been better if he had been the one to die back then. That way, no one would be suffering like this.
"What nonsense are you thinking!" Shen Su questioned him. "Not to mention anything else, what about the person you like? Don't you want her anymore? You saved her, and now someone else has taken credit. Are you going to watch her be deceived for a lifetime?"
"Don't you like her? You went to South University for her. Now you see her with someone else, are you content?" Gu Song used provocation. "If I were you, I absolutely couldn't tolerate this. I'd go back and snatch her away sooner or later!"
The two spoke in turn, easily reminding Xing Zheng of the rainy day they first met and the dusk when she rescued him. His obsession had lasted for five years, and he hadn't even had a chance to say a single word to her. Was he content?
Shen Su and Gu Song's words eventually had an effect. Xing Zheng began to cooperate with taking medication. During follow-up visits, although he spoke little, he did not resist communication. Shen Su and Gu Song realized then how great the influence of this legendary woman was on Xing Zheng.
The treatment process was not smooth. Xing Zheng's condition was severe. If not for his astonishing willpower, he would likely be unable to lead a normal life. Yet, after taking medication, he continued his studies, even completing all the coursework for two degrees. Even the doctor had to admire his willpower upon hearing about it.
During this period, the people Xing Zheng had sent out continued to track Lin Mei and Chen Qi. He investigated all of Chen Qi's information thoroughly, even specifically finding someone to follow him.
It was during this process that Xing Zheng discovered Chen Qi was not as upright as he seemed. Although he was dating Lin Mei, he did not refuse other women who showed him attention. He even dined with female classmates who showed him interest more than once behind Lin Mei's back. While there were no outright transgressions, it was inappropriate for someone with a girlfriend.
Upon discovering this, Shen Su asked him, "Are you at ease entrusting her to a man like this? Get better quickly and snatch her back."
This made him cooperate even more actively with treatment. However, his condition was too complex. The doctor had said it would take at least three years to see any improvement, and the possibility of complete recovery was not high. There would be periods of relapse in between.
In the blink of an eye, more than three years passed.
While undergoing treatment, he completed his undergraduate studies at Penn, successfully obtaining a double major, but his condition still showed no signs of improvement.