“Why?” Xu Ying didn’t quite understand. After such an incident, how could Xing Zheng break up with her? “Did he suggest it, or did you?”
“It should count as me suggesting it.” Lin Mei sat down with Xu Ying and recounted what happened after the kidnapping.
Xu Ying was one of the few friends she trusted. Lin Mei hid nothing from him. As soon as Xu Ying heard that Lin Mei’s depression had relapsed and she was suffering from PTSD, his expression grew increasingly grim. He thought that was the limit, but then he learned she was pregnant!
Even without personal experience, Xu Ying knew how important a good mental state was for a woman during pregnancy. Medication couldn’t be taken casually, especially in the early stages. Using high doses of psychiatric medication could very likely lead to fetal developmental issues. Xing Zheng’s demand for an abortion was likely due to this consideration, but his method was too unilateral. She was already sensitive, how could she accept that?
“You broke up with him solely because of the child?” Xu Ying’s intuition told him there must be other reasons. It was understandable for Lin Mei to argue with Xing Zheng over the child, but how could she, who loved him so much, break up so decisively? m..oΓg
Xu Ying had hit a nerve with Lin Mei. She fell silent, her eyes filled with a deeper sense of loss. Seeing her hug her knees and bury her head between them, Xu Ying didn’t rush her, waiting patiently.
After a long while, Lin Mei asked him, “I must look terrible like this, right?”
Xu Ying understood something then. “He’s disgusted with you?”
“I’m disgusted with myself, let alone others.” Lin Mei forced a smile, but her voice was choked with tears. “I hate myself like this. My temper is bad enough, but I’ve lost my looks too. There are so many outstanding people around him; I can’t keep him.”
“What do you mean?” Xu Ying’s expression became more serious. “Xing Zheng cheated? He kept in contact with other women while hiding it from you?”
“I don’t know…” Lin Mei was in great pain. Her mind was filled with images of Xing Zheng sitting with Wen Ke, and the phone calls she’d overheard those days. She hadn’t asked, but the seed of doubt had bloomed in her heart. She knew it was highly likely her misunderstanding, but she couldn’t control her thoughts. “Xu Ying, I feel like I’m acting like a madwoman right now.”
She clutched her hair, her emotions breaking down. Her sobbing grew louder. Xu Ying was worried, so he lifted her head. He intended to wipe away her tears, but he found she had none.
Being able to cry was not the most desperate state; the most desperate was not even being able to cry. Lin Mei’s condition was more severe than he had imagined.
She was in a time when she needed care and companionship the most, not only suffering from mental illness but also carrying a child. Both issues stemmed from Xing Zheng, and he had simply abandoned her. Even if Lin Mei had broken up with him, didn’t he know how to coax her?
Xu Ying felt a tightness in his chest. He patted Lin Mei’s back. The usually eloquent man suddenly didn’t know how to comfort her, only able to offer solace through this simple gesture.
After a long time, Xu Ying finally thought of what to ask. “This child… do you definitely want to keep it?”
Logically speaking, her current physical condition was not suitable for keeping the child. She had stopped taking medication, but her emotions couldn’t be stabilized without it.
“I’ve already lost a child,” Lin Mei knew what Xu Ying was going to ask. “I can’t bear to lose another. If it happens again, I will never forgive myself.”
“But you also need to consider your physical condition,” Xu Ying asked Lin Mei, “Can you endure it?”
“For him, I will.” Although her voice trembled, her tone was incredibly firm.
Xu Ying sensed her determination, and the words of persuasion got stuck in his throat. He had accompanied her throughout her nightmares after losing the child and when she fell into depression. She had tearfully apologized to him for that child. He knew her regret. “Alright, I believe you.”
“I’ll be in Nanjiang during this time. Shall I take you out to relax?” Xu Ying said. “There’s a competition in a few days, want to go?”
Lin Mei hadn’t left her home since returning to Nanjiang. Xu Ying’s thoughtful gesture to help her relax made her agree to go with him.
The news of Lin Mei accompanying Xu Ying to the competition reached Xing Zheng that same day, but he couldn’t go to her. He could only endure it. The results of the eleven-week anomaly scan would be the best time for them to meet.
Xu Ying won the championship as usual. Afterward, he took Lin Mei to a restaurant for dinner.
Lin Mei had a poor appetite and ate in small bites. Xu Ying tried his best to cheer her up. Lin Mei’s complexion was slightly better than usual, but she still spoke very little. While they were eating, they ran into Xing Sha and Xie Qin Jia.
Xing Sha and Xie Qin Jia were unaware of Lin Mei and Xing Zheng’s breakup. Seeing Lin Mei dining alone with Xu Ying, they couldn’t help but be curious. However, they didn’t question her, merely stepping forward to greet Lin Mei. Upon getting closer, they noticed Lin Mei’s extremely pale complexion, no different from when she was hospitalized. The scabs on her face had fallen off, but the scars were very noticeable.
Xie Qin Jia felt guilty seeing this. “Are you dining with a friend? How have you been recently?” Her tone was very unnatural.
Lin Mei replied with a “Mm,” unable to say more. She didn’t blame Xie Qin Jia for this incident, but she couldn’t find a way to interact with her at the moment. Xing Sha, seeing their awkward conversation, asked, “Why isn’t Ah Zheng accompanying you out?”
When Xing Zheng was mentioned, Lin Mei fell silent. Xing Sha took in her expression and asked worriedly, “Did you have a fight?”
“We broke up.” Lin Mei finally revealed the news. Xing Sha and Xie Qin Jia immediately showed expressions of surprise. “How could this happen?”
Xie Qin Jia spoke first, finding it hard to believe that Xing Zheng would break up with Lin Mei. She had pressured them so much before, yet couldn’t make them separate. Now, with no obstacles, how could they…
“Did Ah Zheng do something that upset you?” Xing Sha also asked.
Lin Mei shook her head and didn’t answer. She put down her cutlery and said to Xu Ying, “I’m done eating.”
Xu Ying immediately understood her intention. He paid the bill and left with Lin Mei.
Xie Qin Jia was very worried. Watching their retreating figures, she said to Xing Sha, “Go ask him. Lin Mei suffered so much; how could they just break up like that?”
Xing Sha called Xing Zheng, but he didn’t answer any of them. After Lin Mei was discharged from the hospital, Xing Zheng stopped contacting them.
Time flew by, and it was soon the day for the anomaly scan. Lan Lan and Feng Feng accompanied Lin Mei to the hospital. As soon as they got out of the car, they saw Xing Zheng waiting not far away.
Meeting again after more than a month, Lin Mei’s belly had already begun to show. She was wearing a fitted base layer today, making it even more apparent. She wore a mask, with only her eyes, eyebrows, and forehead exposed.
Xing Zheng walked up to Lin Mei and reached out to hold her hand, but she quickly dodged him.