The result of two armies that equally enjoyed pelting people with cannonballs and grenades, and were equally unafraid of death, was a sharp increase in the consumption of cannonballs and grenades.
Liu Huaiwen, looking at the diminishing silver in the national treasury, felt nothing but the urge to weep without tears.
However, the problem of severe financial shortage that plagued Liu Huaiwen was not even a fart to Zhu Jinsong, the穿越者皇帝 (chuānyuèzhě huángdì -穿越者 emperor).
Roast some tobacco, roll it up, add a core pulled from a sorghum stalk – what is this? This is a cigarette with a filter tip. Sell this to those barbarians, and you can afford to build aircraft carriers. Who would care about a few cannonballs and grenades then?
Moreover, Zhu Jinsong also trusted Zhu Erdan, who was leading the Second and Fifth Armies to attack Zhejiang – if the frontal assault was difficult, why not switch to a night raid?
The Great Ming Army, trained with the operational model of the Chinese Army, was fully capable of seeing everyone else as weaklings in terms of combat quality and tactical skills.
After distributing a filtered cigarette to each of the smokers in the room, Zhu Jinsong waved his own cigarette and said, "Later, remember to print 'Smoking is harmful to health' on the cigarette packs, and then sell all of these to those barbarians in Europe. Our Great Ming should try to control it as much as possible."
Liu Huaiwen was taken aback and asked, "If you print 'Smoking is harmful to health' on the cigarette packs, will those barbarians still buy them?"
Zhu Jinsong did not directly answer Liu Huaiwen's question. Zeng Cheng smiled and said, "Old Liu, you are still too honest."
Liu Huaiwen asked, looking bewildered, "What does honesty have to do with this?"
Zeng Cheng, while smoking, replied with a smile, "Tobacco was introduced to our Great Ming a long time ago, but the more the Ming court banned it, the more people planted and smoked it. It was the same during the Qing Dynasty; it was simply impossible to ban.
"For those barbarians who are addicted to smoking, whether or not 'Smoking is harmful to health' is printed on the cigarette pack will not stop them from buying and smoking it. However, if these words are printed, even those barbarians who were not inclined to smoke will likely buy them to try."
Zhu Jinsong gave Zeng Cheng a thumbs-up and praised him, "Old Zeng sees things most clearly."
After praising him, Zhu Jinsong took out two pages of paper from his pocket and handed them to Zeng Cheng, saying, "I've written two articles. Bureau Chief Zeng, could you please polish them up?"
Upon hearing Zhu Jinsong's request, Zeng Cheng felt an urge to pull out his hair.
If Qianlong, that old dog, was bad at fighting and had a strong addiction, and would write a few terrible poems for people to praise, then Zhu Jinsong, the Emperor of the Great Ming, was a man with a great addiction who was not bad at fighting and was especially restless.
Almost every period, Zhu Jinsong, the Emperor of the Great Ming, would publish an article in the Menglianggu Newspaper, and those articles were all about teaching people how to rebel.
Even the history textbooks prepared for county and prefectural schools were filled with content teaching people how to rebel.
Zeng Cheng found it incredible that there had not been a single instance of rebellion or unrest in the Great Ming Dynasty so far. If he had read His Majesty's articles earlier, he might have rebelled against the Qing Dynasty long ago!
However, when Zeng Cheng took the articles handed over by Zhu Jinsong and skimmed through them, his heart settled.
The first article discussed the harms of Fushougao (福寿膏 - a type of opium), urging everyone not to smoke it. The second article discussed the harms of smoking, urging everyone not to smoke.
At the bottom of both articles, it was noted in small print that they should be translated into French and English and published in European newspapers.
Since His Majesty intended to scam the barbarians, it was no longer a matter of concern.
After Zeng Cheng agreed, Zhu Jinsong began to talk about important matters: "Gurkha soldiers are invading the Us Tibet Xuanweisi (乌思藏宣慰司 - Us Tibet Pacification Commission) from the east. The Minister of Tibet, Duke Qing Lin, has sent a memorial to the capital requesting aid. Let's discuss what to do."
After speaking, Zhu Jinsong motioned for Ke Zhiming to hand Qing Lin's memorial to the capital to Zeng Cheng.
In fact, Zeng Cheng was somewhat bewildered.
Qing Lin was from the Mongol Bordered Yellow Banner. He took office in Us Tibet in the 48th year of Qianlong's reign as the Deputy Minister in Charge of Affairs in Us Tibet. It was normal for him to send a memorial requesting aid to Qianlong, that old dog. But how did a memorial sent to the capital in Zhili end up in Jinan?
It was only after obtaining Qing Lin's memorial that Zeng Cheng discovered it was a transcribed piece of intelligence, not the original memorial.
After reading Qing Lin's memorial and casually handing it to Liu Huaiwen, Zeng Cheng looked at Zhu Jinsong with a blank expression and said, "In my opinion, Qing Lin will inevitably make peace with the Gurkhas and then falsely report that he has repelled them."
Liu Huaiwen, sitting next to Zeng Cheng, asked, "These Gurkhas are foreigners. Even if Qing Lin has the responsibility to defend the territory, the responsibility does not lie with him. There is no need to falsify military intelligence, is there? Besides, what good would falsifying military intelligence do him? If it is discovered, wouldn't the crime be even greater?"
Zeng Cheng let out a scoff and said, "Old Liu, you are too honest. Falsifying military achievements is a common practice in the Qing court.
"There is a difference of only one word between falsifying military intelligence and falsifying military achievements, but the gap between them is immense.
"You must know that falsifying military intelligence yields no benefit, but falsifying military achievements brings great rewards.
"As long as the Gurkhas can be appeased, will Qianlong, that old dog, care how he won?"
"As for the matter being exposed – by the time he is promoted and transferred, will the newcomer dare to expose the previous official's misdeeds? Most likely, they will find an excuse to anger the Gurkhas and repeat Qing Lin's actions when the Gurkhas attack again."
Speaking of this, Zeng Cheng couldn't help but blush, saying, "Like the Prefect of Tanzhou, Wu Yaozu, the Governor of Shandong, Ming Xing, and the Governor of River Affairs, Chen Tailai, haven't they all done this?
"In the Qing officialdom, ruthlessness is a must. Killing the good to take credit, falsifying military achievements, these are even more indispensable methods. Otherwise, when everyone else is promoted and gets rich, and you are stuck in the ranks of county magistrate or prefect, wouldn't you feel ashamed?"
Liu Huaiwen and the other big shots present were stunned.
Can it be played like this?
Our Qing officials really know how to play!
Seeing the strange glances from the assembled big shots, Zeng Cheng quickly defended himself, "Don't look at me like that. I genuinely rose to the position of Prefect of Tai'an based on my political achievements. Moreover, when I first took office as Prefect of Tai'an, I hadn't had time to collude with them. Otherwise, the Great... otherwise His Majesty would have kept me?"
The assembled big shots did not doubt this point. Before the entire Shandong province was occupied, appeasing Chen Tailai was clearly more beneficial than keeping Zeng Cheng. However, Chen Tailai eventually died, while Zeng Cheng gradually rose to the position of Grand Secretariat of the Great Ming, which was enough to explain the matter.
Zhu Jinsong also smiled and said, "Alright, Old Zeng, you don't need to explain this. We all know."
After Zeng Cheng nodded in agreement, Zhu Jinsong continued, "Regardless of whether Qing Lin falsifies military achievements or what Qianlong, that old dog, will do, we must express our attitude.
"Therefore, Bureau Chief Zeng, go back and write an article stating that if Qianlong, that old dog, is willing to send troops to the Us Tibet Xuanweisi, then our Great Ming will absolutely not attack Qianlong, that old dog, at this time.
"If Qianlong, that old dog, stands by and watches the Gurkhas attack Us Tibet, then our Great Ming court will immediately send troops to Us Tibet. We have the determination and the ability to maintain the territorial integrity and unity of Us Tibet, which has been a territory since ancient times."
In Zhu Jinsong's view, the Us Tibet Xuanweisi did not yet belong to him. However, if the Gurkhas dared to attack the Us Tibet Xuanweisi, it was a provocation to the Great Ming.
Only Zeng Cheng did not immediately agree but instead tentatively asked, "Qianlong, that old dog, is currently confined to Zhili. Will he still care about the life and death of Us Tibet?"
Zhu Jinsong chuckled and said, "He will definitely care. Don't forget, even though Qianlong, that old dog, has retreated to Zhili, he is doing so under the banner of temporarily ceding the empire to the people of the world, not admitting that his Qing Dynasty is finished.
"Given Qianlong's, that old dog's, penchant for seeking fame and fortune, he will absolutely not stand by and watch the Gurkhas attack Us Tibet. At most, he will be concerned about whether we will take advantage of the opportunity to send troops.
"Moreover, Qianlong, that old dog, is worried that his Eight Banners noble soldiers cannot defeat us. Does he also worry that they cannot defeat the Gurkhas? Don't forget, this is also a good opportunity for his Qing Eight Banners to train their troops."
Zeng Cheng nodded, but then continued to ask, "Can Qianlong, that old dog, trust us?"
...
Qianlong, that old dog, leaned back on the soft couch, his eyes half-closed, and said, "I trust him. Although Zhu Jinsong is arrogant, he considers himself the legitimate successor of the former dynasty and will never stand by and watch the Gurkhas attack Us Tibet. Moreover, this is also a good opportunity for our Eight Banners of the Qing to train their troops."
He Shen, the Grand Minister, who stood by Qianlong, that old dog, bowed and flattered, "Your Majesty is correct. Regardless of what the rebel Zhu does, our Qing must send troops to Us Tibet. Otherwise, wouldn't those Gurkhas become completely arrogant?"
However, after flattering him, the Grand Minister He showed a worried expression and hesitated, "It's just that the commander..."
Qianlong, that old dog, glanced at the Grand Minister He and said, "Send the fifteenth prince."
After He Shen and the Grand Minister He left the Qianqing Palace, Qianlong, that old dog, sent someone to summon the fifteenth prince, Yongyan, to the Qianqing Palace and instructed him, "This time, you and Eledengbao will select troops from the Manchu Eight Banners of the Qing, fifteen Níлуй (牛录 - administrative unit) from each banner.
"In addition, I will have the Mongol Eight Banners accompany you on this expedition. After defeating the Gurkhas, do not make peace with them; directly annex their country. Then, have the Mongol Eight Banners soldiers return, and you only need to return eighty of those one hundred and twenty Manchu Eight Banners Níлуй to me. As for the remaining forty Níлуй, let them establish roots in Gurkha territory with you."
Upon hearing Qianlong's, that old dog's, instructions, the fifteenth prince Yongyan was startled and asked, "Imperial Father?"
However, before the fifteenth prince Yongyan could ask further, Qianlong, that old dog, directly waved his hand and said, "Shengsheng died within, and Chong'er found peace outside; you must know this idiom.
"Now our Qing Dynasty is declining, and we can only defend Zhili and the lands beyond the frontier. Even if I abdicate the throne to you, what can you do when Zhu Jinsong, that rebel, marches north?
"Go, regardless of whether that servant Qing Lin falsifies military achievements, you must attack the Gurkhas.
"I want you to train your troops well in Gurkha territory.
"If I can reclaim the empire, this position will eventually be handed over to you.
"If I cannot reclaim the empire, you will emulate the stories of the Xiongnu, Turks, and Western Liao. Using those forty Níлуй as a foundation, re-establish the Qing in Gurkha territory."
The fifteenth prince Yongyan still hesitated and asked, "Imperial Father, your son wishes to stay by your side?"
Qianlong, that old dog, chuckled and said, "I am telling you this without any intention of testing you.
"Alas, none of my sons are capable. But if one of you could be like Zhu Jinsong, I could confidently hand over the empire to you."
Speaking of this, Qianlong, that old dog, couldn't help but sigh, "To have sons, one should have them like Zhu Jinsong!"