Zhan Jingchun secretly visited a psychologist.
The doctor told her that the more she felt this way, the more she should socialize, divert her attention, and try not to dwell on the past. Time would heal everything, and if she could persist for a month, her state would improve significantly.
She understood everything and tried her best to cooperate with the doctor. The next day, she went out.
She enrolled in a jazz dance class and a guzheng lesson, filling her schedule completely.
She thought this would cure her, but it was completely useless.
No matter what she did, Peng Fei was always in her heart, and she couldn't forget him for a moment.
She remembered him when she saw someone with a similar figure, when she heard a pleasant voice, when she drank water and remembered him feeding her, when she put on shoes and remembered him squatting to help her, and even during showers, she would involuntarily think of him.
She felt like someone heartbroken, realizing she would never contact him again, never see him again, and her heart was filled with a sense of loss.
But she refused to admit she was heartbroken.
How could she possibly have fallen in love with Peng Fei?
He was a bad person, a thoroughly bad person, who had restricted her freedom and ruined her once happy life.
She simply believed that her inability to forget him was due to her intense hatred for him.
Zhan Jingchun truly hated him. She drew him over and over on paper, doodled on his face, and prayed that he would never find a wife and would suffer his whole life.
But what was the point of this? It was all self-deception in the end.
Ventilating her anger on paper had no effect. Besides tormenting herself, she knew nothing else now.
Her ex-boyfriend, Xiao Bowen, had been asking to see her since he heard she was back, but Zhan Jingchun didn't want to meet him.
At first, it was because she had changed and felt they were no longer compatible, so she didn't want to see him.
Now, she completely didn't want to see him because he was no longer on her mind.
He was doing well, as always.
Her disappearance hadn't disrupted his life path. He had even joined his father's company and was getting his work on track.
He had always been an outstanding and disciplined person, young and handsome, and not lacking in female attention.
Zhan Jingchun knew without meeting him that he must still be as handsome and refined as ever. What would she even say to him if they met?
Because of their past relationship, should she beg him to overlook her past indiscretions, give up those excellent girls, and rekindle their relationship?
She couldn't be that selfish, nor did she want Xiao Bowen to be that selfless. She didn't want any psychological burden.
However, they still ran into each other.
One day, as she was leaving her dance class and waiting for her driver in front of a commercial building, she suddenly heard him call her name.
Xiao Bowen was dressed in branded suits, with a long black coat, accompanied by two men of similar age. He looked like a male protagonist from a TV drama, radiant and looking surprised as he rushed towards her.
"Chunchun! Is that really you?"
"Long time no see. I didn't expect to run into you here. I'm so happy, are you well?"
Because she had been dancing, Zhan Jingchun was wearing a casual white T-shirt, sweatpants, and sneakers, with a matching black coat. She looked fashionable, young, and extremely beautiful.
Xiao Bowen was once again captivated by her beauty and, in his excitement, wanted to embrace her.
"You've lost weight, but you're still beautiful. I've missed you so much. God knows how much I've missed you during this time."
"I'm so happy to see you well. Chunchun, why haven't you been willing to see me? Can I still hug you?"
In the past, seeing his smiling face and hearing his passionate words like this, Zhan Jingchun would have been ecstatic.
But now, she felt a little awkward.
Out of politeness, however, she still gave him a gentle hug.
"Hello, Xiao Bowen. Thank you for your concern. I'm fine, I've made you worry."
Xiao Bowen saw the distance in her words and eyes, and his mood inevitably sank.
"You usually don't agree to meet me, but since we've run into each other today, we must talk before you go."
"I've been so worried about you. I really want to know where you went and what happened during that time."
"Chunchun, give me a chance. Can we sit down and talk properly?"
Zhan Jingchun knew this day would eventually come. Her disappearance had been too sudden. Even if they had no relationship now, she still had to make things clear with him.
They went to a coffee shop. Before Xiao Bowen could ask anything, she calmly and proactively spoke.
"To protect my reputation, my parents definitely didn't tell you the real reason for my sudden disappearance. You're a smart person, and even so, I believe you've guessed most of it."
"Indeed, Xiao Bowen, I don't want to hide it from you. I was forcibly disappeared. Some bad things happened. Imagine whatever you can; I've experienced all of it."
Xiao Bowen's originally worried, refined face showed a sudden, immense shock. His expression was a mixture of emotions, including embarrassment.
"Chunchun, you..."
Zhan Jingchun interrupted him, "I'm not the Zhan Jingchun I used to be, you don't need to feel awkward."
"Things are what they are. Let's not talk about our past, and I don't blame you. I'm doing well now. Live your life well, and don't look for me anymore."
Xiao Bowen recovered from his shock, his face filled with pain and regret.
"I didn't mean that, not at all. I won't break up with you because of this."
"I still love you. I love you no matter what you've been through. Chunchun, don't you trust me? Are you pushing me away without even communicating?"
What was there to communicate?
The more they communicated, the more he would discover her unseemliness.
Zhan Jingchun knew that if she just let him agree to break up, it would make him seem heartless and damage his pride. So, she gave him ample room to save face.
"I've had a child, Xiao Bowen. As you might have guessed, during that time, I went to a very difficult place, met a very unfamiliar man, and experienced many things with him."
"Regardless of the process, I'm truly not the person I used to be. It's almost like remarrying you after a divorce. Are you sure you can still accept this?"
Xiao Bowen was once again stunned by her candor.
She had actually gone through such an ordeal?
And even had a child with another man?
"You..."
He couldn't help but look at her stomach, which was flat.
"You..."
Zhan Jingchun remained calm, "The child is gone, but it truly existed. I don't want to hide anything from you."
"Xiao Bowen, tell me, have I changed?"
Xiao Bowen's petrified reaction said it all.
He was a man from a good background with high expectations for the future, and he had clear requirements for his partner.
No matter who Zhan Jingchun's daughter was or what their past was, after experiencing all that, his subconscious had already placed her outside the threshold of being a wife.
Zhan Jingchun didn't drink his coffee. After speaking and seeing his reaction clearly, she left.
This was human nature. His reaction was not surprising at all. She no longer had any expectations for men or love, and instead, felt a sense of relief.
Returning home, she looked at the mess of drawings all over the room and suddenly felt like moving out to live alone.