Chapter 92: Grimoire IV
But from the smoke... nothing emerged.
No clattering pursuit.
No skeletal screaming.
Just... silence.
Aria frowned. "Wait. Did it... fail?"
Then one of the sentries ambled over to investigate the crater—
—and stopped.
Because lying there, charred and motionless, was... Vex.
Or rather—a perfectly sculpted decoy of Vex.
Charcoal bones. Fake runes. A dramatically flopped pose like a theater kid playing "tragic death" for extra credit.
The sentry stared at it for a long, judgmental moment...
then shrugged and shuffled away.
And directly above it, glued to the ceiling like a flaming war-gecko, the real Vex crawled silently past.
Laxin’s jaw unhinged. "It faked its own death?! It’s lying with style!"
Aria slapped both hands over her mouth to stifle a squeal. "It’s being sneaky!!"
Fenric’s silver eyes glimmered like a disappointed star. "Acceptable initiative."
Vex slithered deeper into the maze, its flames dimmed to ember-glow. The next sentry turned a corner—
and paused.
Because it saw... a hat.
A single skeletal hat, wobbling gently through the air like a lost thought.
The sentry blinked (in a deeply metaphorical sense).
Then chased the hat.
The hat exploded into fireworks.
While it was busy being concussed, Vex teleported behind it, gently turned its helmet backwards, and patted it on the shoulder before disappearing into a shadow corridor.
The sentry rotated in place three full turns before collapsing from sheer existential confusion.
Laxin gripped his skull. "It’s outsmarting them like... like a tax loophole."
"Correct," Fenric said. "Deception is about exploiting flawed systems."
"I am a flawed system!" Laxin hissed. "It could exploit me!"
Aria was practically vibrating. "It’s doing emotional sabotage!!"
Finally, Vex reached the central chamber—where two sentries stood guard in perfectly synchronized menace.
Vex... did not hide.
It strode out openly.
Its flames snuffed out. Its posture straightened.
Somehow, impossibly, it was now... just another guard. Helmet stolen from the previous victim perched on its skull, spear held in lazy boredom.
The two sentries froze.
Then... saluted.
Vex saluted back and casually walked between them to tap the glowing central glyph with its wand.
The glyph chimed like the world’s smuggest elevator bell.
Aria exploded into joyous flailing. "IT WON BY BEING A LITTLE GUY IN A HAT—!!"
Vex dropped the disguise and struck a pose, scrawling flaming letters above its head:
"DECEPTION LEVEL: LEGENDARY."
Laxin faceplanted. "It’s smarter than me. I’m obsolete. Please recycle me."
Fenric gazed at Vex in silence for three whole heartbeats, like he was trying to decide if this counted as triumph or a cosmic HR violation.
"...Adequate," he said at last.
Vex added a new rune under its message:
"NO. EXQUISITE."
Fenric turned away with the quiet poise of someone ignoring an impending revolution.
"Tomorrow," he said, "psychological warfare."
Laxin whimpered. "Oh no. It’s going to learn taunting."
Aria beamed like someone about to pour gasoline on destiny. "It’s going to be amazing."
Vex twirled its wand and wrote one final glowing word in the air:
"YES. TIME TO BREAK MINDS."
—
The next day began... unsettlingly quiet.
Too quiet.
Like the air itself was holding its breath because it didn’t want to be emotionally roasted.
Vex stood in the center of the arena, cloak of flames swirling dramatically... and wearing tiny round spectacles it had conjured out of fire.
It looked like a professor about to emotionally destroy a classroom.
Laxin whispered, "It’s... dressed like sarcasm."
Aria leaned forward. "Shh. It’s focusing its chaos."
Fenric merely folded his arms. "Begin."
The first skeletal sentry clanked forward, sword raised.
Vex didn’t attack.
It just... looked at the sentry. Slowly. Up and down.
Then it wrote glowing words in the air:
"OH. YOU TRIED."
The sentry faltered.
Then, as it raised its sword again, Vex added:
"WITH THAT POSTURE?"
The sentry hesitated... and looked down at its own stance.
Which, admittedly, was kind of slouchy.
Aria gasped. "It’s making them self-conscious!!"
The second sentry joined the fight, roaring a silent bony scream.
Vex sidestepped it casually and flicked another flaming phrase above its skull:
"WOW. TWO BRAINCELLS. SHARING ONE."
The two skeletons froze, turned toward each other... and began arguing in silent gestures over which of them owned the shared braincell.
Then they bonked helmets together, both collapsing in shame.
Laxin clutched his face. "It defeated them with mean comments."
"Correction," Fenric said. "It weaponized shame."
Vex now floated lazily in midair, conjuring glowing illusory speech bubbles above the remaining enemies:
"TRIED TO BE FEARSOME"
"ACCIDENTALLY LOOKS LIKE DECOR"
"PROBABLY CRIES RUST AT NIGHT"
Each enemy that read their bubble let out a silent horrified gasp and dramatically fell over like they’d just been insulted by destiny itself.
Aria was in tears. "It’s not fighting... it’s roasting them to undeath!!"
The last skeleton, trembling, raised its sword to fight anyway.
Vex floated down in front of it.
And whispered one quiet word directly into its skull:
"...meh."
The skeleton disintegrated from sheer emotional collapse.
Silence filled the arena again—this time the awkward, fragile silence that happens after someone has been thoroughly demolished in a group chat.
Vex struck a victorious pose, flaming letters swirling around it like confetti:
"MIND = BROKEN"
Fenric gave the tiniest nod. "Acceptable."
Aria flung her arms in the air. "NO—PERFECTION!!"
Laxin just lay on the ground, muttering, "It mocked their posture. Their posture. I’m not emotionally safe here."
Vex conjured a tiny flaming crown and plopped it on its own head.
Then it wrote:
"I AM THE NEW HR DEPARTMENT."
The room stayed silent for a full five seconds.
Then, somewhere deep in the shadows, a training dummy just... fell over. Out of sheer secondhand shame.
Laxin sat up very slowly, eyes wide and haunted.
"...It didn’t even touch them. It just... audited their souls."
Aria was practically vibrating in place, hugging herself.
"It’s not just fighting anymore... it’s performing psychological theatre."
Fenric exhaled, the sound like winter cracking stone.
"Good. We proceed."
Laxin’s voice hitched. "Proceed? With what?! It just became middle management!"
Fenric ignored him, raising one pale hand.
The arena floor rumbled—and this time, instead of basic sentries, a dozen tall figures rose from summoning glyphs:
skeleton knights clad in blackened armor, their eye sockets burning with steady crimson light.
Towering, silent, and very much not in the mood for jokes.
They formed ranks, shields slamming into the ground in perfect unison.
Laxin whimpered. "Those look like they do performance reviews."
Aria clasped her hands, eyes blazing. "Perfect. Higher-stress opponents will refine its chaos output!"
Vex looked at the knights.
Then slowly adjusted its fiery spectacles with one bony finger.
A single word appeared above its head:
"EVALUATING."
The knights didn’t move.
Vex stepped forward, casual, confident... and began walking in a slow circle around them.
Like a predator wearing a blazer.
Then—click—it conjured a glowing clipboard and began scribbling floating notes in fire:
"STANDING LIKE REGRETS"
"TOO MUCH GRIM, NOT ENOUGH GRIN"
"HELMETS: TRYING TOO HARD?"
The knights stiffened. Shields wavered.
One took a step forward to attack—and Vex just snapped its fingers.
Instantly, an illusion flashed over the knight’s helmet...
transforming it into a pink bunny hat with floppy ears.
The knight froze mid-strike.
So did the others.
And then—like a contagion of mockery—every knight’s helmet sprouted bunny ears.
Aria fell over laughing. "OH NO—IT’S INFECTING THEIR DIGNITY!!"
The knights panicked, flailing at their own heads while Vex elegantly moonwalked between them.
Each strike they tried missed wildly—one accidentally smashed another knight’s shield, another tripped on their own cape.
Laxin screamed, "IT’S DESTROYING THEIR MORALE LIKE A BAD QUARTERLY REPORT!!"
Finally, Vex climbed atop the tallest knight’s shoulders, arms raised, fire swirling like a victory banner.
It carved glowing words across the air:
"KNIGHTS: TERMINATED FOR LOW VIBES."
All twelve knights collapsed in a synchronized wave of despair, clattering to the ground like they’d just been laid off from existing.
Fenric stood silent, unreadable.
Then he nodded once.
"Promote it."
Laxin croaked, "Promote it to what?! CFO of Doom?!"
Vex twirled its clipboard like a sword and conjured a tiny flaming necktie around its throat.
It wrote:
"CHIEF OFFICER OF MENTAL DEMOLITION."
Aria applauded like a proud chaos gremlin.
"Yessss. Break their minds with style."
Vex hopped down from the mountain of defeated dignity with the smug grace of a cat who just fired your entire department.
Its flames curled into crisp pinstripes down its skeletal frame—somehow it now looked like it was wearing a flaming business suit.
Laxin pointed at it, voice cracking.
"It’s evolving into... corporate menace."
"Correct," Fenric said, deadpan, as if confirming tomorrow’s weather.
"Phase three: paranoia induction."
Aria’s eyes lit up like a conspiracy board.
"Ooooh. Make them doubt each other. Perfect."
Vex spun its clipboard once, then slammed it down like a gavel.
The arena glyphs surged—and fifteen new skeleton warriors shimmered into view.
These ones were leaner, faster, with cruel scythes and glowing blue eyes that tracked like hunting hounds.
They fanned out in silent precision.
Vex... simply stood still.
Then whispered one glowing word in the air above itself:
"BETRAYAL."