"Alright, now Mu Xing and Aunt Cui can go rest. Mother is going to be fine."
"Mm," Mu Xing nodded, yawning. He was truly exhausted.
He hadn't dared to close his eyes all night, afraid that if he did, his mother would disappear. Then who would he be with? The thought terrified him, and he pinched his thigh hard to stay awake.
Now that his mother was out of danger, he was so tired. Mu Xing thought, then collapsed into Cui'er's arms beside him. Cui'er quickly supported him and took him to the next room to sleep.
As soon as Mu Xing left, Feng Xie walked in. The usually handsome and noble man was now visibly haggard. Liu Liu glanced at him, noting the troubled expression on his clear, smooth face, and wondered what was bothering him.
"What's wrong?"
"Mu Xing won't let me near this room. Is this my punishment?"
His voice was hoarse, filled with regret but helplessness. If Mu Xing had been born in the palace, he would never have ignored his father, the Emperor. Thus, every consequence had its cause.
"Your Majesty is thinking too much. Mu Xing is just a child. Although he sometimes seems very rational, he is actually more sensitive than children his age. Why should Your Majesty overthink it?"
Liu Liu leaned against the bed rest. Feng Xie took a step closer, picked up a cushion, and placed it behind her. His strong arms held her tightly. His dark hair cascaped down, softly brushing her cheek in an intimate caress. Hong Xiu blushed and quickly retreated, leaving the small space for the two in the room.
"Liu'er, can you forgive me? Give me a chance to make amends. For five years, I wished I were dead. These five years have taught me a truth: an emperor, more than ordinary people, craves the warmth of family. My heart is not made of iron; it is a heart of flesh and blood that yearns for love. I once thought I was without emotion or desire, and that is why I lost you and Mu Xing. Heaven has brought us together again, so I will not let go easily. This time, I will give my all and still not let go."
His tempting words poured out like bamboo shoots after rain, so domineering and forceful.
Liu Liu, held within his arms, didn't know what to say for a moment. She was stunned. This man, whom she had loved since she was twelve, had finally spoken such words.
If someone had said such things to her in her youthful, innocent days, she would have believed it was worth dying for. But these words came only after her heart had been shattered into a thousand pieces. And this man was the one who had hurt her the most. From being the ugliest woman in the capital to the ugliest empress of Tian Feng, everything was inflicted by him. Although he had suffered for five years, was that something that could balance the scales?
She had been hurt by him since the beginning. For the past five years, from Mu Xing's birth to his illness, how many times had she silently worried and panicked alone, with no strong arm to lean on? He was distressed, but whose pain was greater?
The thought ignited Liu Liu's resentment. She pushed Feng Xie's arms away forcefully, her face turning cold. Her lips pressed into a thin line, and her eyes fixed sharply on Feng Xie.
"If Your Majesty thinks that just because you've suffered for five years, I should forgive you, then you are gravely mistaken. I am not someone who forgives easily. The harm has been done. The more I try to forget, the more it firmly takes root in my heart.
For the past five years, I have tried not to think about it. But whenever I recall the suffering I've endured because of you, from my youth until now, I wish I had never met you.
How many times have I woken up in dreams, grinding my teeth, regretting why I met you at the age of twelve.
If I hadn't met you that time, my life would have been completely different. I would never have become the ugliest woman in the Tian Feng dynasty. I think I would have been much happier.
But because of a casual remark from you, I suffered for a full eight years. And then you, because of an imperial edict from the late Emperor, gave me all sorts of trouble and humiliated me in the Huaqing Palace.
Because I was pregnant, you even wanted to abort my child. Did all of this vanish simply because you felt remorse and suffered for five years? If I say I forgive you, do you believe it? Do you believe it?"
Liu Liu's words, as cold as frost, were a deep denunciation. The past scenes surged to the surface, carrying a bitter taste that was difficult to swallow.
Feng Xie's face suddenly turned pale. Her words stabbed his heart like a knife. Although he knew she could never forgive him, hearing it from her own lips still hurt. His breathing grew rapid, his chest felt suffocated, and he almost fainted.
But he clearly understood one thing: for all these years, it wasn't she who had disturbed him, but he who had disturbed her. He had thrown her life into chaos and then blamed her for not knowing her place. He now realized the immense harm he had caused her back then.
"Liu'er, Liu'er, no matter what you say, I will not let go. I cannot let go. This is not something I can control. If I could control it, I would have controlled myself and forgotten all of this in the past five years. Since I cannot forget, and fate has destined our meeting, then I must cherish it. Even if the path ahead is a mountain of knives and a sea of fire, I will not hesitate." xxs
Feng Xie's handsome and exquisite features radiated sincerity. His eyes were ardent, and his lips curved with passion and ambition.
His refusal to let her go was so wild. He couldn't let go because letting her go would mean destroying himself.
Since his heart was set on her, all he could do was make amends, to make amends with all his might until she forgave him, and their child.
He hoped to make his son truly accept him. Therefore, he would not use force on them; everything had to be their choice.
"I'm tired."
Liu Liu closed her eyes. She couldn't communicate with this man. She only wanted peace, a peaceful life for her and her son. Being with him brought no happiness to her mind, only suffocating pain. Would she be happy in such a life?
Would her son be happy? Would he? These things could not be forced.
"Alright, you rest." Feng Xie knew that at times like these, he could not pressure her. She was poisoned, and her thoughts were already fragile. If he angered her again, he would not be human.
He vowed never to anger her again. With that thought, he stood up gallantly and walked out. Although his heart ached as much as hers, seeing her pain was his pain, even more so. But all of this was his own doing, so he deserved it.
Hong Xiu and Cui'er saw the Emperor's retreating figure, looking lonely and cold, and felt a pang of pity in their hearts. An Emperor possessed such deep affection. This was enough.
"Miss, His Majesty regrets it deeply. Please don't torment him anymore."
Liu Liu's eyes suddenly opened, filled with moisture. Cui'er and Hong Xiu were startled. Their mistress, who never showed weakness in front of others, had actually cried. It turned out their mistress had been deeply saddened but had never expressed it.
"Cui'er, when I see him, I can't recall any happy moments between us. When I see him, all I remember are painful memories. It's true that his sadness affects me, but I don't feel any happiness in my heart. All I feel is resentment. Do you want us to become a resentful couple?"
As soon as Cui'er saw her mistress's tears, she panicked. Only she knew the suffering her mistress had endured. For eight long years, while others played with friends, she hid alone in the back garden practicing martial arts because no one played with her. If not for that casual remark, her mistress would surely have lived a happy life. Even if she hadn't married into the palace as empress, she would have met someone she liked. But in the end, those people never appeared because everyone couldn't bear the gossip of marrying the ugliest woman.
"Miss, don't think about it, don't think about it. Everything will be fine." Seeing her usually proud and arrogant mistress reveal such a vulnerable and heartbroken side, Cui'er's heart ached deeply. Everything would just have to take its course. Forcing things would benefit no one.