Chapter 86: 86-A Soft Goodbye Kiss
Clementine:
However, once the maids left and I got into bed, I watched Haiden come out and take off his shirt with one hand, pulling it over his head and tossing it onto the mattress. The way he did it while standing next to my bed and staring at me made me feel so exploited.
"No, Haiden," I complained, instantly sliding to the side when I saw him get into the bed. I was uncomfortable because I was shy, and we had a lot of issues in the past. I was scared that if anything happened, he would use it against me and mock me later when we were in the North or back at the Academy.
"Okay," he mumbled instead of arguing and sat down on the mattress. I felt bad for him.
"What is going on with you?" I asked him. He looked away for a minute, then turned to me.
"I don’t know how you’re not feeling it, but I’m feeling the pain in my body, Clementine. It’s from the heat," he uttered, almost as if asking me to understand that he wasn’t being thirsty or horny all the time. "Do you not feel it?" he asked, his eyes fixed on my face.
The fact that he was so good-looking and then asked me this question made it even harder for me to respond. There was no doubt that Haiden was an extremely gorgeous man. He was big, broad, muscular, with strong, beautiful facial features. And then there was the way he frowned, so many lines would appear on his forehead, making him look even more attractive. I know I was praising him a lot, but I was only stating the facts.
However, I had to answer him. "I do feel occasional pain, but nothing too extreme," I added, confused why he was the one feeling so much pain. Mine wasn’t that intense, or maybe not yet.
His grey eyes kept staring into mine, and then he sighed, "Well, okay then, I’ll just rest." I watched him lie down, and then it hit me.
"It’s okay," I said awkwardly. I didn’t want to explain myself because it was already awkward enough to give him permission.
"What? What is okay?" he asked.
"You can come to my bed," I said with so much difficulty and shyness that I couldn’t even look up at his face.
"No, Clementine, I was wrong. I shouldn’t be putting my burden on you, and I most certainly don’t want to get in bed with you after making you feel like you must. It’s fine," he stated again.
I watched him get under the blanket. I felt very wrong. I should have just allowed him, it was just one cuddle. But I guess he realized it would look awkward, since I was kind of doing it for his body heat.
And then in the morning, when I was still asleep, I felt a very soft pair of lips touching my cheek.
"Goodbye," I heard a whisper, but it felt like a dream, so I didn’t wake up.
I woke up around eight, and that’s when I noticed the mattress was empty. I got up and looked in the bathroom, then around the room. I saw the window was open. He had closed it, but he couldn’t lock it from the outside, so I knew he was gone.
"Are you missing him already?" Mint asked.
"No," I replied, trying to sound confident, but I really wasn’t.
"Come on. It’s okay. You don’t have to shy away from me. I won’t judge you."
Mint was right. She had never judged me. We did have our moments, but we were still best friends.
"I don’t know. This stayover was so weird. I’m conflicted. I mean, I want to respond to his flirting with flirtatious responses. This is a first for me. I really want to feel like myself and not force myself into a cave. I’m strong enough to take a stand for myself now, even if someone bullies me for trying to pursue a man or being flirtatious with someone. But then there’s another part that reminds me of how he bullied me and made my life miserable in the past. I don’t want to just accept him because now his issues are resolved and suddenly he feels like he can flirt with me. I know I’m rambling a lot, but it’s just how I feel. I’m so conflicted because his attraction towards me feels like it is mostly due to the mate bond we have felt," I stated, gently touching my cheek with my fingertips as I realized it was probably him early in the morning, giving me a kiss of goodbye.
"Your concerns are truly valid, and I respect them too. However, I will say maybe don’t push him away too hard, because he is our mate and you’re bound to feel body heat for him unless you both decide to reject each other. I guess then only you can be free of the mate bond, and you both will go on to find other mates," she said, and I took a deep breath.
"Do you not know that he doesn’t have to reject me to find other mates? Men literally have so many mates. As for me, if I reject him, I might not even find a second-chance mate. Do you not know how unlucky we she-wolves are?" I complained, reminding her of the messed-up world we live in.
"Well, then you can choose a mate. Why go for someone you’re so conflicted about? You two are trapped with each other right now," she stated, and I began to stare out the window.
"You’re right. I mean, maybe it’s just fine. He can find other mates. He’s the one who’s suffering the most with the body heat. As for me, I’ll just continue to live on. It’s not like I want to find a mate or anything. But before we blink again, we’ll be back at the academy, so I guess there’s no point thinking about life beyond fighting monsters," I stated, feeling so sad in my heart.
When I saw the victims getting justice by watching my father humiliated and punished, I realized it wasn’t so bad to be the reason others are smiling. And maybe, maybe the world does need heroes. I took a deep breath, then walked back to my bed to bring out my bag and pack it. Obviously, we weren’t allowed to take anything with us, but I didn’t care at this point. I grabbed a few new hoodies, a few shirts, and mostly loose tops. Then I got myself some shoes and other hygiene stuff.
Once packed, I carried the bag over my shoulder and walked all the way downstairs. Everyone was standing around, watching me as I was leaving.
"Ms. Clementine Stark," one of the oldest maids said while I was at the door about to leave.
I turned around and looked at her.
"You are right to be angry with us. We should have all stood up to stop your father from sending you to the academy by force that night. But we were such cowards, we didn’t even do that for our own children and grandchildren. We never thought it was even an option," she stated.
"It’s okay. I kind of like it now," I joked, and when my eyes landed on my stepmother and stepsister walking downstairs, my face hardened.
I remembered the promise I had made to myself: I will find out the crimes of Glinda, and she will be punished too. But right now, I was off to the academy again.