Li Shimin, returning to the Ganlu Hall with high spirits after a day's work in the Liangji Palace.
"The Emperor arrives!"
The sharp voice of Eunuch Deng, trailing behind him, reached the Ganlu Hall.
Empress Changsun, holding an unsealed envelope, heard the announcement, tucked the letter away, and rose to meet him.
As Empress Changsun took a few steps, Li Shimin crossed the threshold. Suddenly, his foot slipped violently. Losing his balance, he reached out to steady himself against the doorframe of the Ganlu Hall.
"Damn it!"
*Bang!*
In the sight of Empress Changsun and a host of maids and eunuchs, Li Shimin pulled the entire doorframe down.
Then, he fell heavily, taking the door with him.
"Oh my!"
"Oh my!"
"Oh my goodness!"
Li Shimin sat on the ground, looking as dishevelled as one could be.
He looked with a crestfallen expression at the fallen doorframe. "Damn it, the base of it was gnawed completely away!"
Then he looked down at his own feet. "Bloody hell, I stepped in dog shit!"
"Your Majesty! Your Majesty, please forgive us! Your Majesty, please forgive us!"
All the maids and eunuchs inside and outside the Ganlu Hall knelt uniformly.
"Your Majesty, please forgive us. It was our fault for not protecting you in time. We beg Your Majesty's forgiveness!"
Eunuch Deng's face turned pale. He was by Li Shimin's side but failed to support him immediately. This was a grave offense.
"What are you all standing around for? Help me up!"
"Yes, yes, yes!"
Deng Dengjie quickly scrambled up and helped Li Shimin to his feet.
Six dogs were nonchalantly scratching and gnawing at a pillar in the hall.
Empress Changsun hurried over, her phoenix eyes glaring at everyone.
"Why are you all kneeling? Hurry and get the Emperor a pair of boots! Summon the imperial physician!"
After reprimanding the servants, she took Li Shimin's arm from Deng Dengjie. "Erlang, are you hurt?"
"Hiss~~ Gently~"
"Alright, alright, gently!"
"My old back! I think I've pulled something!"
Li Shimin, holding Empress Changsun's arm with one hand and clutching his lower back with the other, felt as though his back had nearly broken from the sudden fall.
After taking a few steps, he sniffed and then lowered his head, disdainfully taking off the boot he had stepped in dog shit with and tossing it out of the hall.
Wearing foot coverings, he stepped onto the cold floor tiles and walked towards the chair.
After sitting down, just as he was about to erupt in anger, he saw ten neatly stacked cardboard boxes in the hall.
"What are these things in the boxes?"
While rubbing his lower back, Empress Changsun said, "That girl Chai Yue sent someone to deliver them to the palace. I hadn't opened them yet before you came in and had that fall.
"How is it, does it still hurt?"
Li Shimin was indeed in pain, his mouth twitching. Such a sudden fall would be unpleasant for anyone.
But as the ruler of a nation, he had to say he was fine even if he wasn't. Thus, he calmly waved his hand.
"It's nothing, nothing, the pain has passed.
"Little Dengzi, hurry and open the boxes to see what's inside."
"Yes, Your Majesty!"
Deng Dengjie quickly walked to the boxes and opened one. He took out a small yellow box.
Opening the small box, he found a walkie-talkie. He then opened the remaining boxes and saw they all contained the same item.
Although he didn't recognize the item, he always saw Fang Er wearing something like this on his waist whenever he saw him.
"Your Majesty, it's something that Duke Fang often carries."
Saying this, he respectfully presented the walkie-talkie to Li Shimin.
He didn't recognize it, but Li Shimin did. He had long coveted this thing, but as the ruler of a nation, he couldn't bring himself to ask Fang Er for it.
Now, ten large boxes were sent at once. Heh heh heh heh, this kid knows what's up!
Instantly, the pain in his back was forgotten.
He held the walkie-talkie, playing with it for a while, but awkwardly found he didn't know how to use it. He then turned to Empress Changsun.
"Did that girl Yue only send the items, with no letter?"
"Yes, yes, yes. It was sent to the palace along with these items. I haven't had a chance to look at it yet."
Empress Changsun handed over the unsealed letter.
Li Shimin opened the letter and read it for a moment. His earlier joy at seeing the walkie-talkies instantly turned into gloom.
"This girl Chai Yue, she dares to ask for my palace maids? And five hundred of them at once?"
"Without a doubt, that kid must have incited her!
"Good heavens, he's even set his sights on the people around me!"
The more he thought about it, the angrier he became. He slammed the letter onto the table. "Outrageous! Outrageous! Simply outrageous!"
"Hiss~~ Pain, pain, pain!"
His slam on the table had aggravated the muscles in his lower back, causing a sharp pain.
Empress Changsun quickly continued to massage his lower back and then called out to a palace maid, "Hurry and see if the imperial physician has arrived!"
After speaking, she asked curiously, "Erlang, what did the girl write in the letter that made you so furious?"
Li Shimin pointed to the letter on the table. "You read it yourself! This is not the girl's handwriting; it's clearly An Zhi's handwriting!"
"You little brat, you dare to have designs on the women around me!"
Empress Changsun was bewildered. What was going on? Designs on herself?
She stopped rubbing Li Shimin's waist and opened the letter to read it carefully.
However, after reading it, she let out a chuckle.
"Erlang, they are just some palace maids. Sending them away can save palace expenses and earn some silver for your treasury. It's a very good method.
"In my opinion, you should just agree to it.
"Oh? Erlang, look at this at the back. Isn't this how to use this thing?"
Empress Changsun handed the last page to Li Shimin.
It clearly stated the methods for adjusting the walkie-talkie frequency, the charging method, and precautions.
At the end, it was specifically written that in these ten boxes, two boxes each were from Chai Shao and Cheng Yaojin, and he should send the Hundred Riders Guard to deliver them to Nanyue and Tubo.
"Communication distance ten to fifteen li!"
"Charge for five minutes, standby for two hours?"
"What in the world are minutes and hours?"
Li Shimin looked bewildered, but it seemed very powerful!
"Bring another one!"
"Yes!"
Eunuch Deng quickly took another walkie-talkie from the box and handed it to Li Shimin.
Li Shimin, following the instructions in the letter, set the two walkie-talkies to the same frequency, then pressed the transmit button on one of them.
He glanced at the six dogs still diligently working around the pillar in the hall and said fiercely, "I want to eat dog meat."
After speaking, he released the transmit button.
"I want to eat dog meat!"
The other walkie-talkie repeated his words.
Empress Changsun was stunned. This little thing was so magical!
Only the six dogs, upon hearing this, instantly stopped their actions. Their six heads stared with twelve dog eyes at Li Shimin.
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Author's notes: