Fang Er crouched in the corner, holding his earlobes, his heart in his mouth.
He looked more subdued than the small-time thugs in later-day detention centers.
All thanks to this unreliable father-in-law. Why couldn't he just do something else instead of dragging himself to see those dancing girls?
And even if he was going to see them, he kept plying Fang Er with drinks!
Setting aside their ruler-subject relationship, who could refuse their father-in-law when he insisted on drinking?
The result? After a bottle of Maozi down, he started singing to those dancers!
Well, that's what he heard from Ge Luoyang after they returned!
“Sister, you sit in the boat oh~ Brother walks on the shore~”
Ptooey!
Thinking about him singing such ambiguous songs to those foreign dancers, Fang Er felt his cheeks burning with shame!
"Slap!"
Li Xiuning's feather duster made a crisp sound as she fiercely swatted Li Shimin's back.
"Slap!"
"I'll teach you not to be a good-for-nothing!"
"It's one thing for you to go have fun by yourself, but you dared to bring my son-in-law along. Your guts have certainly grown!"
As the saying goes, the elder brother is like a father, and the elder sister-in-law is like a mother. With neither brother nor sister-in-law around, as the eldest sister, Li Xiuning calling herself "mother" was perfectly justifiable.
Li Shimin clutched his head, shivering from the pain, and instead of crying out for mercy, he secretly winked at Fang Er.
Seeing this, Li Xiuning became even angrier. Her feather duster descended upon his back like a storm, making Fang Er break out in a cold sweat.
"Mother-in-law~"
Fang Er intended to plead for him, but Li Xiuning interrupted him before he could finish.
She turned to him, a smile on her face, and said, "An Zhi, don't worry. Hurry back. Mother has made you some hangover soup. Drink it and go to bed early!"
Fang Er: ???
What the heck, it wasn't about me?
Since Mother-in-law had said so, staying here would be foolish. He immediately got up, pushed open the door, and bolted.
Only when he returned to his own courtyard did he breathe a sigh of relief.
“Big Sister, this is unfair! Why are you only hitting me!”
Fang Er left swiftly, and Old Li finally couldn't hold back, complaining to Li Xiuning.
"Slap, slap, slap~"
"Ah! Big Sister, spare me!"
"Big Sister, I won't dare again~~"
Even after Fang Er returned to his room, he could still faintly hear the sound of the feather duster hitting someone and Li Shimin's screams.
Let him hit, let him hit. Heh heh heh. I won't interfere in their sibling squabble~
Looking at the steaming bowl of hangover soup on the table, Fang Er picked it up, drank it down, and then comfortably lay back in bed to sleep.
Who knows how Li Shimin survived that night, but when Fang Er saw him the next day, his normally upright posture seemed to have become slightly stooped~
Li Shimin came to find him proactively. Seeing Fang Er still washing up, he put his hands in his sleeves and squatted lazily beside him, beginning to complain.
"You brat were too disloyal yesterday!"
"You abandoned朕 (me) there and ran off yourself. Tell me, is it right for you to do this to朕?"
Fang Er looked at him speechlessly. The way he was posturing now perfectly embodied the image of a Guanzhong man, only missing a pipe tucked into his waist.
"Just say what you need to say. As long as it's something I can do, I won't refuse~"
Dragging him to see dancers yesterday was something that had never happened before.
"If there's no reason for kindness, then there's either treachery or theft." Old Li's actions must have some trap waiting for him to fall into. He couldn't be careless~
"What are you talking about! Am I the kind of person who uses people and then discards them?"
Li Shimin rolled his eyes at him, sniffled forcefully, and then continued somewhat wronged.
"I heard about the 'Four Iron Bonds of Men' from your subordinates."
"'We studied in the same class, carried guns together, shared spoils together, and… that stuff together.'"
"Our father-son relationship, if you think about it, we've done the first three. Isn't the last one still missing?"
"Of course, we can't really do *that*, but going to watch a dance together, that's a way to show some spirit, isn't it?"
So, when this guy was getting beaten yesterday, he still had the mind to wink at him. It turned out he was thinking about this?
What kind of logic is this!
No wonder he could become emperor, and Fang Er could only be a Duke~
"Father, do you really have no other requests?" Fang Er spat out the toothpaste foam in his mouth and looked at him half-believingly.
Li Shimin immediately became agitated upon hearing this. He stood up abruptly and said righteously.
"What kind of look is that! I already said I just wanted to get closer to you. If you keep looking at me like that, I'll get angry!"
If those words had reached Old Man Fang's ears, they would have likely made him drop his false teeth, but now to be doubted, it made him very uncomfortable.
Fang Er:...........
Seeing Li Shimin's shame mixed with a hint of grievance, grievance mixed with a hint of closeness, closeness mixed with a bit of trepidation, he quickly said.
"Uh, Father, you still want something, right? Otherwise, I feel uneasy!"
"How about I give you all the helicopters I brought this time?"
Li Shimin waved his hands repeatedly, "No, no, no~ What do I want those things for? I just want to get closer to you~"
"Come, come, squat next to me. It's so comfortable basking in the sun like this~"
Saying that, he grabbed Fang Er's arm and pulled him closer.
Fang Er felt creeped out by his complicated gaze. He had never seen Li Shimin like this before!
So, he said with a苦 (bitter) face, "Your subordinate kicked off the covers while sleeping last night and caught a chill in my leg, so I can't squat.
"Since you don't like the helicopters, how about I give you those three large vehicles? Consider it my filial piety~"
Saying that, he took out the keys to the Caterpillar.
Li Shimin's eyes widened again as he argued, "Nonsense! I said I don't want them, so I don't want them! If you keep this up, I'll truly get mad at you!"
Fang Er was utterly speechless, truly unable to understand what this guy was up to.
"Alright then, since that's the case, I have things to do. Please go back and rest!"
Saying that, he took out a walkie-talkie from his pocket, intending to call Ge Luoyang over.
Li Shimin saw this and suddenly became anxious. His hands rubbed together, almost sparking. After a moment, he stamped his foot fiercely.
"Fine, I'll just say it directly!"
"Uh, can we take a trip to Daye Year Nine?"
Hearing this, Fang Er was stunned. Looking at Li Shimin's expression now, he knew exactly what he was thinking!
In Daye Year Ten, if there was anything important, it was that uprisings broke out across the land, sending the Sui Dynasty to its demise.
Besides these, there was another matter: Li Shimin and Empress Zhangsun were married in this very year!
Good heavens, was he stimulated by Han Shizhong?
Another ruthless fellow who would even cuckold himself when the mood struck!
However, Fang Er suddenly felt a surge of anticipation, wondering what the scene would be like then?
"Your subordinate cannot guarantee it, but there should be such opportunities in the future~"
"So~~~"
"Alright! No need for 'so~', as long as there's an opportunity!" Fang Er was interrupted by Li Shimin before he could finish. He snatched the car keys from the table and turned to leave.
"I'll accept these three vehicles. I am very satisfied with this filial piety!"
Fang Er: Σ(っ°Д°;)っ!!
Damn, shameless!
He said he didn't want the cars!