"It's not that I look down on you, it's just that I truly do!"
"My Great Tang is prosperous and commands the four seas. From Australia in the south, to Alaska in the north, and to the Americas beneath our feet in the east, the Five-Star Red Flag flies everywhere."
"Look at the Great Song. While your national treasury is abundant, what have you all accomplished?"
"A bunch of men, unable to defeat even a horde led by a woman? You should all have your trousers pulled down to see if your testicles are still there!"
Just as Fang Er approached the Great Celebration Hall, he heard Li Shimin's voice. It seemed he was once again berating Zhao Guangyi and his civil officials.
Pushing the door open, he found the scene just as he'd imagined.
However, the ones being reprimanded seemed to be Zhao Guangyi and his sons.
As for why he said that, it was because besides himself, there were only a few young lads.
Fang Er smiled and said to Li Shimin, "Father, the Song Emperor does have a few capable ministers under him, they just haven't encountered the right opportunities to showcase their skills yet."
"Are your affairs concluded?" Li Shimin asked him.
Fang Er nodded and replied, "They are concluded. Furthermore, I've found a passage here that can lead to this era a hundred years from now. I wonder if you're interested?"
"How is it that you, boy, can find these kinds of passages wherever you go?" Li Shimin, not yet out of his scolding role, immediately felt his question was inappropriate.
He then added, "Alright, I can't be bothered to inquire about this matter. Since there's an opportunity, let's go together."
"I want to see just how cowardly the descendants of your Zhao family can be!"
Zhao Guangyi, unable to lift his head from the scolding, still had good hearing and had paid attention to Fang Er's mention of a hundred years from now.
Seeing Li Shimin's intention to go along, he couldn't help but feel curious. After taking a few deep breaths, he said with a fawning expression,
"Your Majesty, the Wise Emperor, could you take me to see a hundred years from now?"
"Don't worry, I'll listen to everything you say. I'll do whatever you ask."
Li Shimin glared at him fiercely, "What, are you envious that I can be a hands-off manager? Where do you get the confidence that your subordinates can handle state affairs well?"
Zhao Guangyi was momentarily speechless. For foreign wars, he could entrust them to veteran generals like Yang Jiye and Gao Huaide, but for state affairs, he truly couldn't think of anyone to rely on.
Suddenly, he recalled Fang Er's earlier remark about having capable ministers who hadn't had the chance to shine. He turned to Fang Er with a smile and said,
"Duke Anguo, who are the capable ministers you mentioned? Could you offer some guidance?"
The people from the three worlds were bound to gather in the Great Tang eventually, so it wouldn't hurt to let him meet them in advance.
Fang Er walked to the steps of the imperial dais and sat down casually before speaking.
"Muddle-headed in minor matters, but not in major ones, the Right Remonstrance Official Lü Duan."
"Petty-minded, but possessing both virtue and talent, the Commissioner of the Three Judicial Offices Kou Zhun."
"Dripping water wears through stone, sawing wood splits it; the Crown Prince's Assistant Minister Zhang Yong."
"Holding a high official position, simple and sincere, the Ministry of Works Langzhong Xiang Minzhong."
"If the Song Emperor truly wishes to leave the capital, these four can undertake the important task of regency!"
These four were all capable ministers during Emperor Taizong's reign, but they had not yet been fully entrusted with power at this time.
Zhao Guangyi was not unfamiliar with their names and quickly instructed an attendant to summon them.
After giving the order, he approached Li Shimin again.
"Heh heh, Your Majesty, look, Duke Fang has already named the candidates for regency. How about you take me along?"
He looked like a child begging his parents for candy, fawning yet fearful, almost making Fang Er nauseous.
Li Shimin, not understanding Fang Er's intentions, decided to hand over the decision-making power.
"You discuss it with him. If he agrees, I'll take you along."
"Thank you, Your Majesty, thank you!" Zhao Guangyi, seeing no obstacle from him, turned his gaze to Fang Er.
Before Zhao Guangyi could speak, Fang Er stated his conditions, "You can come along, but not for free."
"Travel expenses, ten million taels of silver."
"Also, call over all the imperial physicians from your court. I have a brother who was slightly poisoned and is waiting outside the hall for treatment."
Fang Er wasn't short of money, but as he had just said, he wouldn't let this fellow tag along for nothing.
Zhao Guangyi didn't even hesitate for half a second and immediately agreed.
Whether it was a lot of money or not, it wouldn't go into his pocket. The treasury's money was spent, and he didn't feel it was a loss.
The imperial physicians were also summoned by his decree. Dozens of old men, a bustling crowd, entered the hall and bowed in unison.
"Your subjects greet Your Majesty."
"Duke Fang, why don't you call in the brother you mentioned? We can treat him right here in the hall?" Zhao Guangyi asked.
Fang Er nodded, winked at Wang Xuance by the door, and soon Ge Luoyang walked in wearing a silk stocking.
"Damn it! Did this kid fall into a dye vat with his head?"
The moment he took off the silk stocking, Li Shimin's astonished voice rang out from the side.
This head was too damn green!
If he stood next to the stingy Old Fang, they would be mistaken for brothers!
The imperial physicians also seemed to be seeing this symptom for the first time. They all crowded around, taking pulses, inquiring about the symptoms, and some, after requesting permission from Zhao Guangyi, rushed back to the Imperial Medical Office to fetch a pile of medical texts.
"Hiss, this symptom is so strange."
"Only the head is green, stopping at the neck. It's neither painful nor itchy, no vomiting or diarrhea. This old man has never seen anything like it in his life."
"I think we should try a prescription to purge and detoxify."
"Not suitable, not suitable. We should use acupuncture, supplemented by cupping to draw out the poison!"
"Or, let's try everything?"
Listening to the discussions of these old fellows, Ge Luoyang shivered, suddenly having an ominous premonition.
Meanwhile, Fang Er was thinking about the pyramids. He would have to go there again in the future, and possibly more than once.
Therefore, he needed to figure out the method for dispelling this scorpion venom as soon as possible.
Besides, he and Wang Xuance had each consumed one. Although their heads hadn't turned green, seeing Ge Luoyang's state made them feel uneasy.
So, he said to the imperial physicians, "As long as your methods are reasonable, feel free to try them!"
Traditional Chinese Medicine, unlike Western medicine, emphasizes the roles of ruler, minister, assistant, and messenger in using herbs, aiming to achieve the desired outcome through systematic treatment.
In this process, even highly toxic substances might be used, but after being compounded by a physician, they would not cause harm to the human body.
Especially these court physicians, they were elites gathered from all over. Their use of medicine was even more focused on safety than that of ordinary doctors.
Therefore, Fang Er was not worried about any serious consequences.
Ge Luoyang was dumbfounded. He quickly shouted, "My Lord, perhaps I should just stay green?"
"Compared to being green, this process of needles and purgatives makes me more nervous!"