These old men…
Ah, no, these old geezers are all so improper!
Am I someone who thinks with his lower half?
After politely declining their offers, the banquet finally began to feel like a proper feast.
They were all old veterans of the Zhenguan era; their ease with each other was something the newly selected officials could never imagine.
Two rounds of drinks, four courses served.
Before Fang Er could even grasp what was happening, Li Xiaogong was already in the garden, wrestling with Yuchi Jingde.
Cheng Yaojin, watching from the side with envy, rolled up his sleeves and scanned the table for an opponent. However, the "bug" he carried made everyone scorn him.
"Damn cheater!"
"Exactly, relying on external forces, what kind of hero is that!"
"It's not me, Old Zhang, bragging, but with your kind, I could take on ten of you with true skill!"
"…"
Faced with everyone's accusations, Cheng Yaojin inexplicably felt a sense of shame…
They had fought, they had caused a commotion, and they had discussed their affairs. Only when the sun began to set did Li Shimin announce the end of the banquet.
But just as everyone was filing out of the back garden, a radiant figure slowly approached Li Shimin.
"Big… Big… Big Sister?"
"Why… why are you here…"
Upon recognizing the person, Li Shimin instantly felt a strong killing intent.
Li Xiuning, however, turned to Empress Dowager Changsun and said, "Sister-in-law, please go back first. I have something to say to Erlang."
Her displeasure was almost written across her forehead.
Recalling what had happened at the banquet today, Empress Dowager Changsun immediately guessed what was about to unfold and quickly rose to take her leave.
Before leaving, she cast an "I can't help you" look at Li Shimin.
Old Li was dumbfounded!
Watching his wife gradually distance herself, his hands and feet began to tremble.
"Big… Big… Big Sister, what… what do you want to do?"
"This… this is in the palace!"
"I am the retired emperor, you… can you at least leave me some dignity…"
Before his words had even finished, he was pulled from his chair by Li Xiuning, followed by a clean, swift over-the-shoulder throw.
"Bang!"
"Ouch…"
It was unclear who had dropped a wine cup on the floor earlier, but Old Li’s backside landed squarely on it.
The sheer discomfort made his eyes pop out like ox eyes.
Li Xiuning, however, paid no mind. She kicked his chest with her knee and then began flicking his forehead with her finger as if she had an endless supply.
"Dung…"
"Dung…"
"Dung…"
"Big Sister, spare me, Big Sister, spare me!"
"Ah… don't hit my face…"
"Big Sister, listen to me, Erlang has his reasons…"
Li Shimin was beaten terribly.
But his wife had taken all the eunuchs and palace maids away when she left.
At this moment, not only was there no one to help, but there wasn’t even anyone to go report the incident.
Li Xiuning only stopped after a full five minutes, then sat down on a nearby chair, grumbling.
"Chenggian is doing a fine job as emperor. The Great Tang no longer needs you!"
"So, you'd better give me a reasonable explanation, otherwise, hmph!"
This cold snort made Li Shimin shiver.
Facing Li Xiuning, not only did he not dare to fight back, but even if he dared, it was questionable whether he could win!
He carefully got up from the ground, clutching his head which had several lumps on it, and squatted in a corner of the pavilion, looking as wronged as a little wife.
"They always say elder sisters are like maids for their younger brothers, but you, on the other hand, always take your anger out on your own brother first when something happens!"
"Am I, the emperor, supposed to have an easy time?!"
"With the capital relocation ceremony just two months away, even An Zhi, a duke, has a thicker foundation than I do!"
"Think about it, when the ceremony day comes, if An Zhi arrives in an Emperor-class mothership, and I can only ride a three-wheeled cart, does that sound right?"
"I don't care about other worlds, but this Great Tang was built by our Li family, sword stroke by sword stroke. How can our son-in-law steal the spotlight?"
"I just asked An Zhi for a few things, and you beat me into a pig's head for that?"
"Besides, I wasn't asking for them for free!"
"Go ask around in the harem, to add some dowry to that marriage contract, I've practically become a stud horse!"
"…"
Old Li squatted in the corner, weeping and wailing, looking as if he had been abandoned by someone.
Hearing this, Li Xiuning slapped the table fiercely, causing the plates and bowls to jump.
"Look at your pathetic state!"
"Where is the dignity of a retired emperor in that?!"
"I'm warning you, this matter ends here! If you dare to tamper with those marriage contracts again, just you wait and see how I'll deal with you!"
With that, she turned and left.
At this moment, Fang Er had just returned home and was sitting on the sofa, enjoying the service of a non-professional foot massage girl.
The foot massage girl before him was none other than Changsun Ling'er playing a role. Her uniform, even more captivating than those in professional foot massage parlors, made one wonder where they had gotten it from; it looked very stimulating.
[How's this? Isn't this treatment better than playing cards with Qi Sui and the others in the workshop?]
Xi Tong sat beside him, skewered a piece of cantaloupe, and offered it to Fang Er's mouth, her eyes filled with a seductive gaze.
That's right!
After leaving the palace, Fang Er hadn't gone home but had gone to the workshop to play cards!
He had only played two rounds before being pulled back by the four girls, Bingxue, Yulu, and the others…
"Cough! Uh, Ling'er, stop washing. My feet are almost rubbed raw by you…"
Fang Er said with a laugh, not directly answering Xi Tong's question.
Just then, laughter could be heard from the front courtyard.
As he lifted his feet out of the basin, he saw Li Xiuning, accompanied by Chai Yue and Xiao Qing, walking in.
"Oh, Ling'er, that's not how you give a foot wash!"
"Come, come, let Mother teach you."
Before Fang Er could react, he saw Li Xiuning approach. Her demeanor suggested she was going to teach Changsun Ling'er hand-to-hand.
"Mother-in-law, this is absolutely not allowed, absolutely not!"
Which son-in-law in this world would dare to imagine his mother-in-law washing his feet?
He didn't even bother to put on his shoes, quickly backing away, and looking at Li Xiuning with embarrassment.
"Mother-in-law, please don't joke like this. How could I dare let you do it myself!"
"Even if it were to be washed, it should be me washing your feet!"
"Letting you wash mine would be shortening my lifespan…"
Li Xiuning, seeing his reaction, paused for a moment before covering her mouth and chuckling.
"Alright, it's rare for my good son-in-law to speak up. Today, I'll let you wash my feet once!"
Saying this, she sat in Fang Er's previous position and bent down to take off her shoes and socks.
Fang Er: ???
What the hell, she's actually serious about this?