Chapter 195: Chapter 195
DEMI
The world spins around me for a bit while I continue to stare at the Mac screen. Did I just see what I think I just saw? Goosebumps spread across my forearms at the sight of Ashton hovering at the door. A startled gasp quivers through my lips. When did he come in? How long has he been standing there?
"Jesus Demi, you’re so pale." He takes long strides towards me and cups my cheeks. "You look like you’ve seen a ghost. What’s wrong." With his thumb, he pads my jawline. "You don’t look well. What happened?"
But his voice drowns out as I stare into his blue eyes. Was Liam right? Is Ashton truly behind this? Would he lie to my face so coldly? Would he passionately make love to me one moment and stab me in the back the very next? I shudder in fright at the mere thought.
"Demi, you’re shaking. What’s wrong?" In a quick move, he flicks off the AC but when he turns to grab me again, I already walked away from him, towards the couch. I need the distance. I need to not smell him, feel him. That’s the only way I can think straight.
"NO!" I shriek when he starts to amble towards me, worry smeared all over his face. "Just a...I need...I...n-need a m-minute, please." I hug myself and take deep breaths.
"You’re scaring me. What’s going on? I just stepped out for less than twenty minutes and now, you’re.... what’s got you in this mood?" He looks wearily around. "Did someone come in here? Did they say something to you? Did you get a disturbing call?"
"J-Just stop, please!" I dab my misty eyes and will myself to get it together. Why does it already hurt like a stab wound when I am yet to confirm it with him? What if I’ve got it all wrong?
I have to ask him. Communication, right? I have to know no matter how glaring the truth is right now. "I h...have to ask you...s-something." I draw in a sharp breath to steady myself. "Ashton, you have to promise me you will be truthful." The statement clearly hurts his ego.
"Out with it, Demi. Make me understand what this is about."
Sniffling, I lock eyes with him. Tears blur my vision. "Are you the new editor of Billion-Err?"
Whatever he was expecting, it wasn’t the words that rolled out of my lips. "What did you say?"
"Just...answer the question. Did you buy Billion-Err..." My voice breaks as the pain overwhelms me. Instantly, his arm wraps around me. "Please tell me..."
"Demi, how could you ever think I’d do something like that to you?"
Something snaps inside of me. How could he lie to my face? How long has he been fooling me? I literally just saw the message. If I hadn’t, I’ll gobble up everything he is saying right now but I can’t. No matter how crazy I am for him, I can’t let this slide. Angrily, I shove him away from me. This was his chance to come clean but he chose to lie? Pain courses through my veins.
"How could you? I literally just saw the message..."
"What?"
"There!" I stab a finger towards his desk. "Someone was asking for your authorization before the next blog piece about me is published." Tears wrack my body as I continue to cry. Speechless, he retreats to his desk and fusses with his keyboard, possibly trying to confirm my words. Weakly, I drop on the couch, bawling my eyes out. I don’t think I can recover from this betrayal. My heart can’t take the pain.
"I forgave you for my parents..." I begin, staring at him over the haze of pain. "Even when I still battle a sense of guilt, even when everyone called me spineless for it. I chose to forgive. I chose to move on, Ashton. Please tell me I am not mistaken about the kind of man I thought you were." I shake my head. "This will kill me if I am."
Slowly, he straightens and comes to crouch down in front of me. His eyes are red-rimmed. "Demi? He cradles my head on his shoulder and holds me tightly while I cry even harder. After a minute, he pulls back and cups my cheeks. "Demi, there’s nothing on the computer." He reaffirms when my teary eyes widen in disbelief. "There’s no such message. I double checked."
I surge to my feet, shaking my head in rebuttal. "Yes, there is. I saw it."
He stands with me. "I am not behind Billion-Err. I need you to trust me. I would never hurt you..." But I shove past him to go check the computer myself. His messages are mostly office memos, meeting minutes, some unofficial car deals in the works, a few personal emails from business associates and so on. There’s nothing remotely resembling the message I just saw less than thirty minutes ago.
"Demi?" His voice is low and calm. His eyes are pleading. "I am not fooling you, okay? I have nothing to do with the last article on Billion-Err, or the blog itself."
"You deleted it, didn’t you?" My question throws him off guard. "It was right here. I was s... standing right h-here when the message came in. I know I saw it, Ashton so you must have deleted it just now."
"Demi, I didn’t delete anything. There’s nothing there."
"No, you’re lying to me."
"Demi, please calm down."
"DON’T TOUCH ME!" I snap at him when he tries to encroach my personal space. He’s lying. The message was right there. Gosh, how blind have I been? I tug at my hair with both hands. "I’ve been such a fool. All this time. I thought I knew you. I thought your family was largely misunderstood but now I realize everyone was right. You all are the same. The apple doesn’t fall very far from the tree."
"Please, don’t say that." His voice is laden with emotion.
But my mind continues whirling. Maybe I am not the one who’s jinxed. I am not the one who’s a bad omen for the Rollins family. It has always been the other way around. I have known no peace ever since I inserted myself into their lives. Things have been steadily nosediving and somehow, I managed to convince myself that it was all my fault.
"Demi, please, look at me."
When I do, he has one arm extended, his eyes moist. "I’m sure there’s a perfect explanation for what you saw and how you feel but hear me out. I promise I didn’t delete anything. I’ll have someone take a look at it if you want but for now, I’d really appreciate it if you take my hand as a sign of trust. Let’s work through this, please?"
My eyes dip to his outstretched hand. "I’m not c...crazy. I know what I saw."
"Of course not. Just...take my hand baby, please?"
"STOP TREATING ME LIKE A NUTCASE!" Accidentally, I knock down the name plaque on his desk and watch it shatter to pieces. My voice is a mere whimper. "I’m s-sorry."
"It’s okay."
"This is all too much to take in. I um... I need to go. I... need a break." A wilted expression coats his face instantly. "I have a lot to figure out." I start for the door but he reaches forward and snags my wrist.
"Don’t leave, not like this. Okay, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier but I did contact a blogger two weeks back but only..." He latches onto my wrist even tighter as I try to back away in shock, "It was only to release an official statement rebutting the earlier article that made you so devastated. I later declined because I wasn’t sure you’d want me to, plus, the media was only going to treat it as fodder for more damaging gossip against you."
His lips are moving but he lost me at the part where he actually contacted a blogger. Somehow, I can distinguish that from Liam’s words. I can’t believe it was a mere blogger separate from Billion-Err.
"Let me go, Ashton. I don’t want to be here." But he refuses to budge, continues to explain himself. Angrily, I yank my wrist free of his grip, yelling at the top of my voice to be left alone. I make it as far as the door, ignoring the hum of his voice when suddenly, he yells back.
"YOU’RE SEEING THINGS THAT AREN’T THERE, CAMILLE. IT’S YOUR CONDITION TALKING. LISTEN TO ME FOR GOODNESS’ SAKE!"
My fingers freeze over the door knob. Slowly, I turn towards him, body shaking. "What did you just say?"
***
Ashton catches himself, then edges backwards with his hands palmed over his face.
"Ashton, did you just call me by my mother’s name?" Of course, he did. I know I heard him and from his present reaction, he acknowledges that too. "Answer me!"
He sinks into his chair and sighs heavily. "I’m sorry, Demi. That came out of nowhere."
"It certainly didn’t." I reply, plunking my purse on his desk. "What condition? What did you mean by that?" And because he’s debating on clarifying or risking my anger, I lean forward. "Tell me now or I’ll imagine the worst of everything; you, your family and everything I have come to know."
He blinks in surprise. "There’s no way this is a surprise for you. Look me in the eyes and tell me you never knew about your mother’s delusions?"
I feel a sharp tear in my heart but keep a brave face. He rises but doesn’t close the distance between us.
"It was all over the police and medical reports after the accident at the mall. I’m sure your relatives can confirm it. Your mother...Camille suffered a delusional disorder that sometimes affected what she saw or heard. It often happened sporadically. My family gave a statement about it but typically, people branded us as liars and claimed that piece of information was fabricated." His eyes are mellow. "I heard you disbelieved it too."
My brain starts to spin. My mother had delusions? Slowly, it starts to register. Snippets of my life with a mostly absent mother, my father making excuses for her when she behaved weirdly towards me. He called it the stress from work. Other times, he said mom was sick. Those episodes flash in my memory, clearer now.
I blink away the tears threatening to fall. "My mom wasn’t...she couldn.t..."
"It’s okay. She was a lot of beautiful things, Demi. Hold onto that." Ashton urges me.
But then a thought crosses my mind. When I stare up at him, I know for a fact he immediately understands the question in my eyes.
"That night at the mall...."
He keeps a straight face.
"She didn’t...she couldn’t have..." Still, his face betrays nothing. "SHE SAW SAMUEL WOODLEY GET THROWN OFF THE SECOND FLOOR!" I finally blurt out the uncomfortable truth he hasn’t brought up since he confessed to me. He’s never mentioned Samuel Woodley being present that night and I always wondered why.
"My mother saw him fall to his death and that’s why she was haunted like an animal, wasn’t it? To silence her permanently. Look me in the eye and tell me it isn’t true!"
Ashton is temporarily taken aback by my words. "Where did you get that from?"
"Doesn’t matter. Answer the question."
He rakes his fingers through his hair.
"Isn’t that why you left that detail out when you opened up to me about that fateful night?"
"NO!" He counters sharply. "I left that part out because I didn’t want you to get hurt. Demi...please, let’s drop this now. Trust me, you don’t want to know."
I grab my purse. "Forget it. I’m done listening to your half-truths. I won’t let you sway me anymore. My mom wasn’t delusional and she saw what she saw. You can wriggle out of this one by making up such BS about my mom."
I can’t listen to him. He’s got a way with words and a charm I still struggle to resist. If I do, he’ll successfully create a sliver of doubt and puncture holes in the truth I’ve come to embrace all my life. That’s all it will take to topple my sanity.
Though he continues to call me, I slip out of his office without glancing back.
***
My mother was not delusional. She can’t be. And that night at the mall? Was Ashton trying to insinuate that what she saw or heard wasn’t true? That the sole reason for the life I led up to this point could be one big misunderstanding? Hell no! I’d chew a jean jacket before I believe that. It sure will be easier to swallow.
On my way home, I take a long route to clear my head, trying and failing to blank out my conversation with Ashton and all the ugly truths it revealed. My phone continues to buzz with his calls. What more does he have to say? Royally pissed, I cut the call and dial my uncle instead.
"Demi, how are you dear?" But all he gets are sniffles. "Are you crying? What’s wrong?"
I hate that Ashton got me all curious. "Uncle Marcel, did my mother suffer delusions? I need you to be honest with me."
A long pause. "Where did you get that from?"
"Is that a yes or no, uncle?" I reply impatiently. My heart is already thumping wildly in my chest. Please, let it not be true. If he confirms what Ashton said, what will I make of that? Could my worst fear be true?
His quietness scares me. "Please, just answer the question. Did she have a medically diagnosed case of delusional disorder before her death?"
"Yes, dear. She did." The phone almost slips from my fingers but I rein my emotions.
"And that night at the mall? Do you think she might have had a delusional episode?"
"Demi, we can’t discuss this over the phone...."
"Just answer me, please. I need to know NOW."
He expels a deep breath. "She had an episode, ok? And it made her escalate the situation but the Rollins family were willing to keep that off the press...."
"How exactly??" Another deafening silence. "How did she escalate things that night?" I repeat, temporarily ignoring the fact that a lot of secrets have been kept from me. When he continues to hesitate, I threaten to end the call and never speak to him again.
"She...she felt threatened or rather she thought she was and accidentally knocked a guy off the second floor, Demi. She had been trying to stop him from going to attack the Rollins family. They got into a scuffle, he threatened to hurt your mother if she didn’t get out of his way. When she wouldn’t budge, he took a swing at her. Hurt and paranoid, she shoved hard at him. He lost his balance and fell off the railing. One of the boys and his father saw the whole thing and that’s when your mother fled, scared of being captured."
"No!" I shriek in denial. "That’s not true. Mom would never...I’m sure Brett and his family lied to you. There’s no such evidence..."
"Demi, your mother’s fingerprints were the only one on the deceased’s body that night. I had it checked by a guy I trust and I was just as dumbfounded by the result."
I shudder as shock waves ripple across my body.
"When one of the Rollins’ boys mistakenly led your parents into the faulty elevator that caused their deaths, Brett agreed to bury Samuel’s murder at their mall in exchange for me not pursuing legal action against his family for the death of your parents. I’m sorry kid but that’s why I never fought them. If I did, your mother’s memory would have been smothered by that one mistake caused by her delusion and I didn’t want you to live with that. I didn’t want you to have a different opinion about her. I hid the truth because I knew your parents would have wanted the same. Besides, I knew there was no way I was going to win against them. I don’t regret my decision. Hello? Have I lost you? Demi, please say something..."
I abruptly end the call with shaky hands. Tears stream down my face. My mom actually killed Samuel Woodley? A thin smile tugs at the corners of my lips. Mom killed Samuel Woodley, I repeat in my head, staring at the grey sky.
My legs turn to jelly and suddenly, my knees hit the ground hard. All around me, the world starts to spin again, round and round till the sky turns dark and crashes on me.