Chapter 159: 159 - cannot afford
159
~Belinda’s POV
I lay there, my chest rising and falling quickly, my breath still uneven from what just happened. The room was silent except for the sound of our panting. My body felt weak, trembling even, but there was this strange satisfaction curling inside me. I turned my head to look at Richard. He was beside me, lying flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling like he had just seen a ghost. His face was pale, his lips still red from my kisses, and his chest heaved with every breath.
I smiled faintly. My lips still tingled. My body was sore, tired, but there was a deep sense of triumph in me.
I broke the silence first.
"Now you understand," I whispered, my voice low, almost hoarse.
Richard blinked, then turned his face toward me slowly. "My lady..." he said softly, his voice shaking. "What we just did... it is dangerous. If anyone finds out, I..."
I cut him off with a tired laugh. "You worry too much, Richard. You always do. But tonight, you owe me. Do you understand? I have already paid the price for your life."
He frowned, confusion all over his face. "My lady, you did not need to—"
"I did," I said quickly, pushing myself up a little on my elbow, staring down at him. "You think I would let you back out from me? No. I gave myself to you again. That is the price. And now..." I let my words trail, a smile tugging at my lips. "Now you cannot say no to me anymore."
Richard sat up slowly, his hair messy, his clothes half torn from the way I had dragged them off him. He looked at me with those scared eyes again, like he wanted to argue but was too weak to.
"My lady, I respect you more than anyone in this world. I would obey you even without this... this act." His voice trembled. "But what you ask of me....it is risky. If the Alphas catch us, I could die. You could be ruined. Please, I beg you, reconsider..."
I let out a sharp breath, almost scoffing. "Richard." My voice dropped, firm, filled with a tired edge. "Do you think I do not know the risks? Do you think I am some naive girl who does not understand what she’s playing with? I know very well. But I am willing to risk it. And you—" I jabbed a finger against his chest. "You are mine. My servant. My shield. My tool. You do not get to refuse me."
He swallowed hard, lowering his eyes. "Yes, my lady..." he whispered.
I leaned closer, my lips brushing against his ear. "Good. Because now you belong to me more than ever. Do not forget this moment."
He shivered, his hands tightening against the sheets. "I will never forget, my lady."
For a moment, silence wrapped around us again. I could feel his unease, the heaviness in his breathing. And then I pulled away, slowly sitting up on the bed. My body ached, but I forced myself to move with grace.
"Get dressed," I ordered calmly, running a hand through my messy hair. "It is time for you to leave."
His eyes widened a little. "Leave? My lady... now?"
"Yes," I said firmly, turning my back to him. I reached for my discarded dress on the floor. The fabric was wrinkled and torn at one shoulder, but I didn’t care. "You have no place here after what we’ve done. I got what I wanted, and you... You got my body again. That is enough. Go before anyone suspects."
Richard hesitated. I could feel his stare on me even as I slipped the dress back over my shoulders.
"But... my lady, I do not wish to leave you like this. You are tired, and..."
I spun back to face him sharply, my hair falling over my shoulders. "Do not speak as if you care for me," I snapped. "Care is a luxury I cannot afford. This..." I gestured between us. "This was not love. It was a payment. Do you understand?"
His lips parted, but he didn’t speak. His eyes looked hurt, and for a brief second, guilt pricked at my chest. But I shoved it down.
I smiled faintly instead, a cold, tired smile. "Now go."
Richard lowered his head, sighing deeply. "As you command, my lady."
He stood slowly, gathering his clothes, his hands still trembling. He pulled on his tunic, his boots, avoiding my eyes the whole time. Then, finally, when he was at the door, he looked back at me.
"My lady... please... be careful."
I didn’t answer. I simply lifted my chin and waved him away.
When the door closed behind him, I let out a long sigh and leaned back against the pillows. A smile crept onto my lips, soft at first, then wider.
I felt tired. My body screamed for rest. But inside, I was happy. Satisfied. Triumphant.
I had bent him completely. He could no longer resist me, not after tonight. I had made sure of that.
I pushed myself up slowly, my body still carrying the faint weight of the moment just passed. My feet dragged against the floor as I moved to the wardrobe, each step deliberate, almost sluggish, as though I wanted to savor the quiet. With a faint sigh, I reached for the wardrobe door, pulling it open and letting my gaze linger on the rows of clothes hanging neatly inside. My ruined dress clung stubbornly to my skin, heavy and uncomfortable, so I stripped it off, letting the fabric fall in a heap on the floor without a second glance. I didn’t care where it landed; it had already served its purpose.
My hand brushed over different fabrics until it found one that called to me, dark silk, smooth beneath my fingertips, cool yet soothing. I pulled it free, slipping it over my shoulders, and let it fall gracefully against my body. It hugged me lightly, the kind of comfort that whispered calmness. I exhaled, feeling instantly lighter.
I ran my fingers through my hair, roughly tugging it into place without bothering about perfection. Strands fell freely around my face, and that was enough.
When I finally walked back to the bed, it felt like a reward waiting for me. The mattress welcomed me with familiar softness, wrapping me in an embrace no words could describe. As I sank into it, I smiled to myself, a quiet, unbothered smile that came from deep within. My eyelids grew heavier with each blink, pulling me closer to rest. My heart beat slow, steady, certain.