I prayed that I could calm down and get some sleep, but my nerves wouldn’t let me. No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t silence my overthinking. Frustrated, I tossed and turned in bed, trying not to make a sound so Keiko wouldn’t wake up.
But my efforts were in vain.
“What is it now?” Keiko’s sudden voice made me gasp.
Busted.
“I-It’s nothing,” I mumbled, hoping she would drop it.
“You’ve been noisy for the past thirty minutes.” Keiko sighed, clearly annoyed.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, genuinely unaware I had been that restless.
For a while, silence filled the room again. I thought Keiko had gone back to sleep, but I was still wide awake, trapped in my thoughts. I felt exhausted, but sleep just wouldn’t come. My chest felt heavy with regret.
“…Keiko,” I whispered again, hoping she was still awake.
No answer.
I turned my head slightly to check on her. She was sleeping peacefully.
I let out a small sigh, my heart aching as I stared at her.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured softly, my voice barely above a whisper. “I’ve hurt you so many times… made you go through a hard life for seventeen years with me…”
My throat tightened as I fought back tears.
“I’m really sorry,” I continued, my voice cracking slightly. “Even though I hurt you, you were always the one who saved me… even now, you’re the one helping me to stand again.”
I took a shaky breath.
“Thank you so much, Keiko.”
A tear escaped my eye.
“I promise I’ll only make you and Rin happy from now on.”
Another tear. Then another.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured once more, unable to stop my emotions from overflowing.
I tried to stay quiet, not wanting to wake her, but the tears wouldn’t stop.
Then, suddenly, I felt a hand on my head.
I froze.
Keiko was awake.
She didn’t say anything, just gently patted my head, comforting me without words.
I felt my face heat up in embarrassment. She must have heard everything.
I couldn’t even turn to face her.
But Keiko, being Keiko, didn’t push me to talk. She just kept patting me softly, as if telling me that everything was okay.
And for the first time that night, I finally felt at peace.
---
The morning came faster than I expected. I stirred awake to the sounds of movement outside the bedroom.
Slowly, I sat up, my mind still foggy.
Then, reality hit me.
Oh no.
I had cried myself to sleep last night.
And Keiko had heard everything.
My face grew hot as I buried myself in the blanket for a moment. How embarrassing.
But I couldn’t hide forever. With a deep breath, I forced myself out of bed and stepped into the living room, where Keiko was preparing breakfast.
I hesitated before greeting her. “M-Morning, Keiko.”
She turned to me with a calm expression. “Oh, good morning.”
I swallowed my embarrassment and stepped forward. “Do you need he—”
But before I could finish, Rin’s loud voice cut through the room.
“WHOA! So that’s why you weren’t on the sofa?!”
I blinked. “Huh?”
Rin dramatically pointed at me. “Are you telling me you actually slept with Mom?!”
“…Yes?”
Rin turned to Keiko, her eyes wide with betrayal. “Mom?!”
Keiko, completely unfazed, continued cooking. “What’s with you, Rin? She’s your dad. It’s obvious I’d let her sleep with me.”
Rin stomped her foot. “I’m NOT accepting this!” She spun back to me, her expression serious. “You! Don’t think you can just waltz in and take over my spot!”
I raised an eyebrow. “Your spot?”
“That’s right!” Rin huffed. “Mom is mine!”
I stared at her, then sighed. “You seriously need a boyfriend Rin.”
Rin gasped dramatically, clutching her chest like I had just stabbed her. “How dare you!”
Before I could respond, she turned to Keiko. “Mom, I’ve made my decision. From now on, I’m moving into your room!”
“Huh?” Keiko finally looked up.
Rin pointed at me again. “And YOU can sleep in my room.”
“What?! Why?!” I protested.
“Because you’re the newcomer,” Rin declared smugly.
I scoffed. “I’m your father. Why should I listen to my own daughter?” I smirked. “Besides, even my wife wants to sleep with me.”
Both Rin and I turned to Keiko for confirmation.
Keiko, who had been stirring the miso soup, finally glanced at us.
“Honestly? Not really,” she said flatly. “I just pitied you.”
Rin burst out laughing.
My jaw dropped.
“HA! See?” Rin grinned triumphantly. “It’s decided then!”
I groaned, running a hand through my hair. I seriously need to fix my relationship with Rin.
Rin smirked. “I’ve won.”
I sighed and crossed her arms. "Since when did this become a competition? You know, from an outsider’s perspective, it probably looks like Keiko has two daughters instead of a daughter and a husband.”
Keiko and Rin exchanged a look before nodding in agreement.
“Yeah,” Keiko said casually. “Pretty much.”
“Exactly,” Rin added.
I groaned again. “I hate this family dynamic…”
Keiko smirked. “Oh? You don’t like it?”
I blinked at her sudden shift in tone.
She walked over, tilting her head slightly, a small, teasing smile on her lips. "You were crying like a baby saying otherwise last night, though."
I instantly turned red.
“W-WAIT—YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO BRING THAT UP!”
Keiko chuckled. “Oh? But it was so cute.”
Rin gasped dramatically again. “Wait, wait, wait! Mom, what are you talking about? What happened last night?”
I covered my face in embarrassment.
Keiko just gave a small smile. “Nothing.”
Rin squinted suspiciously. “Hmm… I don’t believe you.”
I quickly changed the subject. “Breakfast smells great! Let’s eat!”
Keiko shook her head with a chuckle, while Rin continued to eye us suspiciously.
As we all sat down to eat together, I couldn’t help but smile.
Even though my life had turned into this chaotic mess…
Even though I was constantly teased and bullied by my own daughter…
This was my family.