From history's passage, few concern themselves with the mental journey of the defeated.

Thirty-six years prior, Si Zhongxian was born in Xiuzhou, Zhejiang. This place would later be known as Jiaxing, a prosperous and refined region in Jiangnan since ancient times, renowned for its literary figures. The Si family was a family of scholars, with members serving as officials in the court for generations. His father, Si Wenzhong, held a position in the Ministry of Rites. Though not a high-ranking official, he was still a respected figure in the region. The family's academic background was profound.

Si Zhongxian was born during the prosperous and ascendant period of the Wu Dynasty. Apart from the later Black Water Alliance, which highlighted the fatigue of the Wu Dynasty's military affairs, everything else indicated a golden age.

The arrival of the golden age brought more choices. Si Zhongxian was intelligent since childhood but didn't like following the family's strict rules. He had many questions and didn't accept everything written in books. Often, his questions were so tricky that even the teachers in the academy found them difficult to answer.

Although his father was a rigid official in the Ministry of Rites, he possessed genuine talent and learning. He wasn't angry at his son's slight "unorthodoxy" but often praised him in front of others: "This child will surely be a prodigy of the Si family in the future."

Although the Si family was a family of scholars, Si Wenzhong supported Si Zhongxian's desire to learn martial arts after the Black Water Alliance. Later, as the Black Flag rebellion, the Bianliang disaster, and the Jingping humiliation followed one after another, when the court wanted to revitalize military preparations, Confucian generals like Si Zhongxian, who understood military strategy and maintained discipline, became the most favored by both the royal family and civilian officials.

After the Black Flag crossed numerous mountains and established a base in Liangshan, the Shu region became dangerous. At this time, sending Si Zhongxian to the southwest to guard Jiange was a demonstration of the greatest trust in him.

During his years in Jiange, Si Zhongxian didn't disappoint this trust and expectation. He firmly controlled the channel of various commodities and materials flowing from the Black Flag forces. As long as something could enhance the strength of the Wu Dynasty, Si Zhongxian provided considerable convenience.

For various luxury goods that could bring great benefits to the Chinese Army (Hua Xia Jun), Si Zhongxian didn't suppress them blindly. He only implemented targeted restrictions. For some merchants with good reputations, loyal to Wu and patriotic, Si Zhongxian repeatedly persuaded them to explore and learn the methods of manufacturing items of the Black Flag Army. In this regard, he even took the initiative to threaten the Black Flag Army to hand over some key technologies.

Faced with Si Zhongxian, the Chinese Army also made many concessions. Over time, Si Zhongxian's reputation grew even greater.

While guarding Jiange, he didn't only pursue reputation in this broad direction. Jiange belonged to Lizhou, but Si Zhongxian was nominally a Beijing official and not under local control. In Lizhou, he was basically a local tyrant with independent authority. Si Zhongxian used this power to protect the local security and, taking advantage of the convenience of trade, he mobilized local residents to provide supporting services. In addition, during the soldiers' training breaks, Si Zhongxian learned from the Chinese Army, mobilizing the army to reclaim wasteland and develop water conservancy for the people. Soon, he also achieved many praiseworthy accomplishments.

These things were actually due to the expansion of military power during the Jianshuo years. Si Zhongxian was proficient in both literary and military affairs, and his power was great. He also had good relations with many civilian officials. Other armies interfering with local affairs were often criticized, but Si Zhongxian here—Lizhou was barren, with little strategic significance besides Jianmen Pass—almost no one criticized his actions. Even if they mentioned it, they mostly gave a thumbs up and praised it as a model for military reform.

As an official, he was for the sake of the world, the court, and the people. Before this, Si Zhongxian had actually achieved all of this, which was also the core of the culture he had learned since childhood. It wasn't until the autumn of the eleventh year that the most difficult choice was placed before him.

The Jurchens came, Emperor Jianshuo died, his family was captured, his father was sent over, the Wu Dynasty existed in name only, and the Black Flag was not the choice of righteousness. From the perspective of the world, some things were easy to choose: joining the Chinese Army, the Jurchen invasion of the southwest would be greatly hindered. However, he was an official of the Wu Dynasty, and ultimately sacrificing his family for the Chinese Army, what was the point? This naturally wasn't a choice that could be made easily.

Even when asking his father, who was usually full of righteousness, his father was completely unable to make a decision. Si Wenzhong was old and was enjoying his grandchildren at home: "...If it is for my Wu Dynasty, the entire Si family is destroyed, you and I... accept it. But now, the Black Flag is a regicide, rebellious, sacrificing the whole family for them, I... am unwilling."

Si Wenzhong said this to his son. Regarding the idea of ​​protecting the southwest for the Wu Dynasty and then seeking an opportunity to return, the old man also mentioned: "Although my Wu Dynasty has grievances with the Jin and the Black Flag, it has reached this point after all. The small court in Beijing is now controlled by the Jurchens, but there are still a large number of officials in the court who care about the Wu Dynasty, but they dare not speak out... Although the new emperor's succession was besieged, I think this Majesty is like a fierce tiger, as long as he escapes, he may be able to rise again in the future."

In Jiange, Si Wenzhong lowered his voice and told his son about the affairs of Junwu: "As long as the new emperor can escape, the Jurchens will pacify the southwest, and they cannot stay here for a long time. At that time, those who still care about the Wu Dynasty will inevitably respond, and the only chance to return Tiannan to the Wu Dynasty may also be

here... Of course, I am old and my thoughts may be dim. All decisions must be made by you, Zhongxian. No matter what decision you make, there is righteousness in it. My Si family may die or survive... It doesn't matter, you don't have to worry about it."

However, although the old man's words were open-minded, he was not without inclinations in private. He also cared about his family in Jiangnan, and several smart children in the clan—who wouldn't care?

In fact, until the decision to open the pass was made, Si Zhongxian had been considering conspiring with the Chinese Army to lure the Jurchens into the pass and encircle and annihilate them.

By the end of September, lobbying from all sides became more and more intense. Outside Jianmen Pass, hundreds and thousands of people died before their eyes every day, and further away, the Jurchens were preparing for a strong attack every day. The time to make a decision was approaching.

On the third day of October, his father came to talk to him about making a decision again. The old man verbally expressed his support for all his actions. Si Zhongxian said, "In that case, I am willing to hand over Jianmen to the Black Flag."

The old man did not persuade him, but after half a day, he secretly told the Jurchen envoys and some people in Guanmen who were inclined to surrender to Jin. They tried to launch a military remonstrance and seize Si Zhongxian, but Si Zhongxian had been prepared and suppressed the whole thing. After seeing his father again, Si Zhongxian cried, "Since Father insists on this, then let's surrender to Jin. It's just that my son is sorry for my father. From now on, although the crime of surrendering to Jin is borne by the son, the sin of surrendering to Jin will fall on my father's head..."

On the fifth day, Jianmen Pass officially surrendered to the Jin Dynasty. It was drizzling, and Wanyan Zonghan walked past him, just patted him on the shoulder. In the following days, there were only various banquets and flattery, and no one cared about Si Zhongxian's mental journey in this choice.

This was also good.

In the sunny or rainy weather, the flags on Jianmen Pass quickly changed. The Jurchen chariots and horses came like a torrent. The Wu Dynasty army moved out of the pass and went to the nearby Cangxi County for garrison. Si Zhongxian waited numbly for the historical currents to pass by him quietly, hoping that when he opened his eyes, the world would have a different shape.

However, everything did not go as he wished.

On October 15th, Wanyan Xiebao came to him. As the son of Wanyan Zonghan, Wanyan Xiebao, who was named Prince Baoshan, was a rough-looking man with unrestrained words. During the banquets in the past few days, he and Si Zhongxian had said heartfelt words and drank several cups. This time, after meeting in the military camp, he hooked his shoulders and took him out to ride horses.

The cavalry galloped up the nearby hills, and in front was Cangxi County.

The county was not large. Because it was located in a remote area, before Si Zhongxian came to Jiange, there were occasional bandits harassing the nearby mountains. In recent years, Si Zhongxian had wiped out the bandit villages and taken care of all parties. The county's life was stable and the population had increased. But in total, there were only over 20,000 people.

Wanyan Xiebao had also heard about Si Zhongxian's actions to benefit the neighbors. Looking at the peaceful scene in the county at this time, he praised it greatly, and then patted Si Zhongxian on the shoulder and said, "Something has been decided and requires Master Si's cooperation."

"What is it?" Si Zhongxian frowned.

"It's about Cangxi County." Xiebao smiled, "Master Si also knows that a war is imminent and food and grass come first. The battle with the Black Flag is the last journey for my Great Jin to pacify the world, and no amount of preparation is too much. Now that autumn has just passed, food and grass must be collected, and civilians must be recruited to work for the army. Cangxi must also contribute. Master Si, if this matter is placed elsewhere, we will kill half and pull half of the people, but considering Master Si's face and the long-term care for Cangxi, it has been decided in the camp today that this matter will be handled by Master Si. There is also a number in the middle, Master Si, please see, more than 30,000 Ding, 600,000 shi of grain..."

Listening to Si Zhongxian, his eyes gradually widened: "The whole city has only more than 20,000 people—"

Xiebao said: "There are more than that in the whole county."

"...There are also 600,000 shi of grain. Most of them are mountain people, and 30,000 people may have this amount of grain for a year! King—"

Si Zhongxian cupped his hands and was about to speak, but Xiebao's hand had already patted down, his eyes impatient: "Master Si, brother! I treat you as a brother, don't pretend to be confused, the place west of Jianmen Pass has close ties with the Black Flag. Who knows if these villagers will pick up knives and guns and become soldiers? If my uncles come over, there will be no living people here. Moreover, this is an opportunity for you, a test for you, Brother Si."

Si Zhongxian's eyes trembled and his emotions were extremely intense: "Si... has taken care of this place for several years, and now, you want me... to destroy this place!?"

"Certificate of Allegiance (Tou Ming Zhuang)." Wanyan Xiebao leaned over, patted Si Zhongxian's hand, and said in a very low voice, "If you do this, we will all be on our own side."

"...I have already given up Jianmen."

"You gave up Jianmen because you knew you were no match, but who knows if you are on our side privately?" Xiebao shook his head and then smiled, "Of course, I, brother, believe you, and my father also believes you, but what about the uncles in the army? This time, the conquest of the southwest has been determined, and what has been promised to you will be done. Your soldiers, we won't move them forward, but after the southwest is over, you will be the King of Shu. To convince the uncles in the army, you just need to do a little, a little..."

Wanyan Xiebao made a rather "slight" gesture, waiting for Si Zhongxian's answer. Si Zhongxian grasped the general of the war horse, and his hand had already trembled. After being silent for a long time, his voice was hoarse: "If... I don't do it? You didn't say these things before, you said it well, and now you are going back on your word and taking an inch. Aren't you afraid that the other people in the world will see it and never compromise with you Jurchens again?"

His words obviously took great courage to say. The corners of Wanyan Xiebao's mouth gradually turned into a cold smile, and his eyes became fierce. Then he took a long breath: "Master Si, first of all, my Jurchens have never relied on negotiations to dominate the world! You are the most special one. Then, Master Si, you are my elder brother, you tell me, if you were us, what would you do? The land of Shu is a thousand miles of fertile land. After this battle, you will be a prince. Today, these things are to be given to you, but you say, if my Great Jin trusts you, is it better to give you this place, or is it better to give you this place while being suspicious of you?"

"Master Si, brother, these are my heartfelt words. If you do this, it will not be hot to hold Shu in your hands. Otherwise, of course, it will be given to you, but whether you can get it, you think for yourself... The uncles in the army give you this errand because they really love you, and they also hope that in the future, when you become the King of Shu, you will be truly on the same page with my Great Jin... Not to mention you personally, the 20,000 brothers under your command are also waiting for you to seek a fortune for them."

Speaking of this, Wanyan Xiebao looked in the direction of the county town, paused slightly, and a cool breeze was blowing from there. Si Zhongxian heard him say: "Moreover, even if you don't do it, what's the difference..."

His words were understated, and Si Zhongxian's body trembled so much that he almost fell off his horse. After saying two more indifferent words, Wanyan Xiebao cupped his hands and said goodbye. Si Zhongxian didn't react at all. He didn't take it seriously, smiled and rode away.

At this time, he had already given up the most critical Jiange. The 20,000 soldiers under his command were said to be elites, but in reality, whether compared with the Jurchens or with the Black Flag, there was a considerable gap. After losing the critical bargaining chip, if the Jurchens really didn't plan to keep their word, he could only let them slaughter him.

After Wanyan Xiebao's cavalry completely disappeared from view, Si Zhongxian stayed quietly on the hillside for a long time before returning to the military camp. He looked dignified and had an imposing manner. It was difficult for others to see too many emotions on his face. In addition, the flag had changed recently and the situation was complicated. It was normal for him to look a little haggard. He met his father in the afternoon, and Si Wenzhong still sighed and persuaded him.

"...Things have come to this, what else can a big man do but look forward? Zhongxian, you are the prodigy of the Si family, you have protected all the family members. The family members will remember you for generations..."

"...Actually, I have been in the Ministry of Rites for many years, reading some sage articles and talking about rules and etiquette, but after reading more books, I will find that these things are all four words, 'the winner takes all'..."

"...When you return Sichuan and Shu to the Wu Dynasty in the future, the people of the world will thank you..."

Si Zhongxian seemed to have figured it out. He nodded solemnly and saluted his father. That night, he returned to his room, took wine and drank alone. Someone was led in from outside. It was Ji Yuanjing, the Black Flag envoy who had previously represented Ning Yi in negotiating at Jianmen Pass. The other party was also a serious-looking person, and seemed to have a bit more wildness than Si Zhongxian. When Si Zhongxian decided to offer Jianmen Pass, he drove all the Black Flag envoys out of Guanmen.

"The Chinese Army is very resourceful."

Si Zhongxian was not surprised that Ji Yuanjing could sneak in. He put down a wine glass and poured wine for the other party. Ji Yuanjing sat down, picked up the wine glass in front of him, and put it aside: "General Si, it's not too late to turn back. You are a person who knows the general situation, so I came to persuade you."

Si Zhongxian smiled: "I thought Mr. Ji was just serious-looking, but he usually smiled... This is your true face, right?"

"The Chen family has agreed to dedicate the entire Qingchuan to the Jurchens, and all the grain will be taken away by the Jurchens, and everyone will be driven to the battlefield. Cangxi must also be the same fate. We are going to mobilize the people to go to the mountains to avoid the Jurchens before they take action. If General Si is willing to revolt in Cangxi, countless people can be rescued. General Si, you have guarded the people here for many years, are you just going to watch them be destroyed?"

Si Zhongxian sat there, silent for a moment, his eyes moved: "To save them, my family will die."

"General Si really intends to revolt, so it seems that Ji's adventure today is worth it." Hearing Si Zhongxian's wavering words, Ji Yuanjing's eyes became clearer, which was the look of seeing hope, "Regarding General Si's family, it was our fault that we failed to save them. The second batch of people has been transferred over, and this time we must ensure that nothing goes wrong. General Si, the Han people's country is about to fall, the Jurchens are cruel and cannot be friends. As long as you and I have this consensus, it doesn't matter if we don't revolt now. You and I can make an alliance. As long as the action in Xiuzhou is successful, General Si will give the Jurchens a heavy blow in the rear. It is not too late to make a decision at this time."

"...I know the Chinese Army's good intentions." Si Zhongxian showed a sarcastic smile on his face and drank a glass of wine, "But at this time, how much can be saved? Mr. Ji, I abandoned Jianmen Pass and have already made a big mistake

, indecisive, and now I want to revolt again, maybe I will have to kill my family... Why should I do this?"

"If General Si could have joined forces with my Chinese Army to fight against the Jurchens with Jianmen Pass, it would of course be a great thing. But since bad things have already happened, we should not complain about others. If we can save a point, it is a point. General Si, for the sake of the people of the world - even if it is just for tens of thousands of people in Cangxi, turn back and you will find the shore. As long as General Si can figure it out at the last moment, my Chinese Army will regard the general as one of our own."

Ji Yuanjing's words were sincere. In fact, Si Zhongxian had dealt with the Chinese Army a lot in recent years, and he had long understood the other party's style of doing things, and knew that the other party's words were sincere. He just sat there, and after a while, he laughed "haha", then turned into "hehe", and finally became a "woo woo" sob.

This emotional breakdown did not last too long. Ji Yuanjing sat quietly waiting for the other party's answer. Si Zhongxian lost his composure for a moment, but on the surface he calmed down. The room was silent for a long time. Si Zhongxian said, "Mr. Ji, I have been thinking hard these past few days, and I have been thinking about the reasons. Do you know why I want to give up Jianmen Pass?"

Ji Yuanjing pondered: "General Si's family fell into the hands of the Jurchen dogs, so he had to do it, which is also human nature."

"Hehe, human nature..." Si Zhongxian repeated, shaking his head, "You say human nature just to comfort me, my father says human nature to deceive me. Mr. Ji, I was born into a family of scholars since I was a child, Confucius said that becoming benevolence and Mencius said that taking righteousness. When foreign insults come, I should know how to choose. I know too many great principles, and I think too clearly. I know the pros and cons of surrendering to the Jurchens, and I also know the pros and cons of uniting with the Chinese Army, but in the final analysis... in the end, I found out that I am a weak person, and I can't even muster the courage to make a decision."

He quietly poured himself wine: "If I join the Chinese Army, my family will die. It is human nature to care about my family. If I surrender to the Jurchens, the people of the world will scold me in the future. I will be placed in the history books and scolded on the pillar of shame for thousands of years. I have already thought about this. So, Mr. Ji, in the end, I didn't make this decision myself, because I... am weak and incompetent!"

Ji Yuanjing frowned: "General Si didn't make the decision himself, who made the decision?"

"Let's not talk about him. The decision was not made by me, but I have to resist the regret now. Mr. Ji, if I sell you out, the Jurchens promise that I will be the King of Shu in the future, and I will become a big shot who will shake the whole world with a stamp of my feet, but I have finally seen clearly that to reach this level, I must have the courage to see through human nature. To resist the Jurchens, my family will die, even so, I can only choose to resist the Jurchens. In the face of the world, I must have this kind of courage." He drank the wine, "But I don't have this courage."

"...This statement is a bit extreme." Ji Yuanjing hesitated.

"I didn't choose to resist the Jurchens when I was at Jianmen Pass. Jianmen Pass is lost. Today, if I resist the Jurchens, my family will die, and I will be a joke again. No matter what, I am a joke... Mr. Ji, after you go back, will you bring a message for me to Mr. Ning, okay?"

"..." Ji Yuanjing was silent for a moment and nodded solemnly.

Si Zhongxian smiled: "You tell him for me, he killed the emperor, that's too right. He dared to kill the emperor, that's amazing!"

"General Si..."

One glass of wine after another, Si Zhongxian's face was only occasionally sneering, occasionally wooden. He looked out the window, in the dark night, tears slid down his face: "I am just a coward who doesn't dare to make a decision at a critical moment, but... but why? Mr. Ji, this world... is too difficult, why is there such a world that makes people have to face the death of the whole family calmly to be considered a good person... this world—"

His emotions were suppressed to the extreme, and he punched the table, spitting out wine foam. After venting like this, Si Zhongxian was quiet for a while, then raised his head: "Mr. Ji, do what you should do, I... I am just a coward."

"General Si, knowing shame is close to courage. Many things, as long as you know where the problem lies, can be changed. You care about your family, even in the future history books, you may not be able to give you a..."

"Come on, send him out!" Si Zhongxian shouted loudly. The close guards came in. Ji Yuanjing still wanted to say something, but Si Zhongxian waved his hand: "Safely! Send him out!"

Ji Yuanjing knew that this negotiation had failed.

He turned around and left, still with some hope in his heart. Si Zhongxian was obviously emotionally disturbed tonight, but he already had remorse in his heart. As the war continued, he would be turned back sooner or later - the team of more than 20,000 people could still play a significant role at a critical moment.

He could only pin his hopes on the next meeting.

The stars and moon were dim, and the distant mountains were shadowed. After leaving the military camp, looking at Cangxi County not far away, it was still a peaceful night.

That night, Si Zhongxian sharpened his sharp blade. He cut his own throat in the room and committed suicide.

Having reached this step, he had no choice but to move forward or backward. At this time, surrendering to the Chinese Army would involve his family, and he would be a joke. Cooperating with the Jurchens to send all the nearby residents to the battlefield, he also had no way to start. He killed himself, so he didn't have to be responsible for the affairs of Cangxi anymore, and he didn't have to endure the torture of his soul. And his family would no longer be of any use from now on, and they would finally be able to survive.

When the news reached the Jurchen camp, Wanyan Zonghan nodded: "Well, he is a man... find someone to replace him."

"...That Si Zhongxian." The deputy general hesitated.

Zonghan thought about it: "In my name, write a eulogy, saying that General Si acted righteously and was assassinated to death by the Black Flag bandits. The Jurchens will definitely destroy the Black Flag to avenge General Si. Also..."

"——Erect a good monument and give General Si a grand burial."

"Yes."

From history's passage, few concern themselves with the mental journey of the defeated.

Soon after, Si Zhongxian was forgotten.

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