I have been asked to comment and choose a side. Not by Elassa, nor by Anassa, but rather by Maisara in some attempt to calm the two of these fools down. Firstly, I would like to inquire why it is me although I think it is obvious. My opinion amongst Divinity is respected to the extreme. There is Arascus, of Pride and there is Kassandora, of War, that people go to for advice. It is not that I am afraid of choosing a side. Personally, I have no stake in the game, whether Elassa and her Perpetual Decline Theory or whether Anassa and her, what should it be called? Elitism Theory? Triumph makes precisely zero difference to me. Neither of them has any effect on my life, my strategies, my goals or my own beliefs.
But that is precisely why Maisara thought she would have any conclusion. Because I have stayed out of this argument. I can bring something new to the discussion. Maybe I could even make them agree? Wouldn’t that be nice? Yet I see Arascus has already tried to intervene. Both Elassa and Anassa have agreed with him, and both have gone back to their eternal game. Maisara herself is another intellectual fool who thinks I should play this game.
However this war is farce. It entails no gain save for the pleasuring of one’s intellectual faculties. It wastes endless time and even more endless reserves of emotion. This part of the letter is not direct to Maisara herself. It is directed to the countless other beings that have asked me to intervene in their genocidal campaigns against intellect. I have a large tolerance to annoyance. When I say that something is not worth my time, then it truly is not worth my time. Not just mine, but everyone else’s. Sandcastles should stick to being built in the sandpit, no parent wants to wake up with a bucket of dirt tipped onto their bed.
I have purposefully sidestepped Maisara’s original question and attacked her instead because I have nothing of value I can offer to this discussion. I am not some humble Goddess, everyone on this world knows that I highly like my own opinion. Whereas I don’t particularly like to listen to myself talk, listening to the words of others is even more grating on the ears.
So the only advice I have in this argument is that someone should take both Anassa and Elassa and spank them until they learn to start acting like the Divines they are supposed to be and not the spiritual children in super-powered bodies they currently are. However, being the highly intelligent Goddess of War that I am, I know that this is impossible. The victory can only be pyrrhic and there is no one who will fight this battle for so little gain. Thus, I have to propose a far more radical solution. A total end to this war can only be achieved in one way:
Elassa and Anassa should just kiss and get it over with.
- “An Open Letter to Anyone Who Wishes to Concern the Goddess of War with Imaginary Warfare.” Written By Goddess Kassandora, Of War.
“I assume you see that?” Kassandora said as she continued her trek forwards. She was leading another division of the Imperial Military through these tunnels with Fer by her side. The two Goddesses kept up at the head of the column. Behind Kassandora, a rank of tanks, barrels slightly inclined forwards rolled on. At first, Kassandora had ridden on the back of a truck but three times they engaged with Tartarian forces in the span of two days.
Kassandora grimaced. She had not expected Tartarians to be this deep in Epa. “I don’t actually.” Fer’s tone was as flat as the ground they walked on. The Goddess of Beasthood, still basically a tall human woman in size, lied through her teeth. Ahead of them, the pitch-black darkness of the tunnel suddenly became smattered with spots of red and orange. Kassandora had never seen such obvious traces of flame in her entire life. Down here though, that flame could be Tartarian Legion or Dwarven refugee. Kassandora had not come across any yet, but she knew that other Divisions had come in contact with the dwarves.
“That’s crazy.” Kassandora’s tone matched Fer’s utter lack of energy. “It’s right there.”
“That’s crazy.” Fer replied. “It’s as if fire stands out in the darkness.” Kassandora found herself smiling. Normally she would tell her sister for being so casual in front of the men but the line of tanks and their constantly growling engines made the conversation private.
“Wow Fer.” Kassandora said. “You could be a scientist, you know that?”
“I try Kass.” Fer cooed in response. Kassandora found herself smiling to her sister played along. She didn’t even know why, but she was glad that Fer did. “I try, truly.”
“Can you see it?”
“No I went blind just now.” Fer, who obviously had not gone blind, said.
“Unblind yourself.”
“Oh wow I can see now.” Fer said. “That’s crazy.”
“So?”
“I see orange dots in the distance.” Fer said and Kassandora supposed she had hoped for too much. Light in the dark always pulled eyes towards it. This was one of the reasons she trained her men to fight in the light of the moon and avoid torches save for a last resort. But down here? A pair of huge Torchbearer Tanks supported the division that was claiming the underground. These were new Mark Two models, compared to those that had been used in the First Expedition they were larger, with machine guns stuck on them for basic defence, and with more powerful engines. Both pulled several trailer’s worth of supplies as they advanced. And both, for all their power, were too weak to blast light so far ahead. Still though, If Kassandora could make out the fires, whoever had lit them could make the Torchbearer Tanks
“What about smell?” Kassandora asked.
“You smell like roses.” Fer said.
Kassandora found herself smiling so wide she even blushed. “Really?” Talking with Fer was always a rollercoaster.
“No.” Fer said. “You smell like sweat and like Goddess.”
“What does Goddess smell like?”
“Honey.”
“Good enough.” Kassandora supposed. “But can you smell anything from ahead?”
“The reason I gave you a stupid answer is because I can’t. No signs of sulphur or anything like that.” Fer said. “And unfortunately, I’m not in any condition to check.” No. Fer was not. Frankly, it had been a risk to bring the crippled Goddess here in the first place but Fer would be needed the moment she was back in action. If she was up above when her power returned, then what could she do exactly? As long as the Goddess of Beasthood always remained close to a sister, she would be safe.
“Malam will finish Ratsweeper soon.” Kassandora said. Operation Ratsweeper would be carried out, and Fer’s stolen power would be returned to her.
“I’d rather she do it well than do it quickly.” Fer said. “So don’t hurry her along.”
“I’ve not talked to her.” Kassandora said, she and Malam were both the same. When a job was being done, the utterly worst thing to happen was when someone disturbed them. Malam would pretend to be suffering because of the wait, but that suffering was actually a pre-emptive reconning with any setbacks. It was Kavaa who had rang Kassandora. Down here, engineering brigades were dragging phone lines and even fibre-optic cable to make sure that the entire Second Expedition could keep contact with the world above.
“It was Kavaa, wasn’t it?” Fer cooed sweetly and Kassandora sighed.
“It was Kavaa.” She said and Fer chuckled.
“You two are so cute together.” The Goddess of Beasthood burst out in laughter, her golden mane had regrown to the length it had always been. So now, tips of golden hair actually touched the dark stone they marched on. “JUST THE CUTEST!” Fer burst out in laughter and grabbed her sides as if there was something to howl about.
“I’ll put you in a dress.” Kassandora said and Fer chuckled.
“Well of course you will, I’m a lovely little girl!”
Kassandora was not impressed, she kept up the march as the light cast by the torchbearers slowly forced whatever was creating those flames into view. “You are none of those.”
“So I’m a terrible huge monster? I wish!” Kassandora grimaced at how fast the woman was. Frankly, it would have not been half as annoying if Anarchia stealing Fer’s power had hampered her mental faculties. The worst thing about it was that Kassandora didn’t know how to answer. Fer took the silence as signal to push her annoyance even further. “You are slow Kassie.”
“Thanks.”
“You should be thankful. That was a compliment.” Fer said and Kassandora grit her teeth. Terrible! Terrible! Just downright terrible! How wash she being circled like this? It was the worst!
“I’ll take it as one.” Kassandora said. “Being too fast is annoying.”
“Damn right it is.” Fer agreed. “That’s why the cosmos at large sent Anarchia to hamper me like that. It was Divine providence for Divines!” This had gone past being annoying into downright infuriating. Kassandora took a deep breath to calm down. The worst was that Fer’s voice had become high-pitched nails on a chalkboard.
Kassandora thought about herself, she thought about how she wasn’t Anassa, and that calmed her down. There, she wasn’t the terrible Goddess of Sorcery, she was the glorious Goddess of War. Being annoyed by Fer taking her weakness so easily simply did not sit right with her. In fact, she should try and learn from it. Kassandora knew that herself, when put in that situation, would just pretend it wasn’t happening. Fer somehow managed to joke around and carry a smile even now, no matter where she went or what happened to her. “It’s amazing that you’re taking it this well.” Kassandora said.
And finally, Fer’s tone stopped being that purposefully high-pitched screeching. “Really?” She asked.
“It’s better than how I could handle it.”
“How would you handle it?”
“I don’t know.” Kassandora admitted honestly. “I’d just get to work.” She fell silent. Fer fell silent with her. They walked a few more steps, something was glinting in the distance. The dots of orange started to move. Not closer and not further but to the side. They disappeared behind a wall. So this must have been a T-Junction out of the tunnels. Kassandora silently placed herself on the on the map, it was easy to navigate down here frankly since all one needed to keep track of where the turns. Hold Kuya should be the left turn. Right was further north.
And finally, Fer spoke up again. “Is that it?”
“What’s it?”
“Are you not going to praise me more?” Fer asked, her tone returned to the high-pitched state.
“Are you serious?” Kassandora asked. All her goodwill was vaporized by the eruption of a supervolcano of annoyance. Who did this little idiot think she was? ‘Praise me more’? The utter audacity of such a statement!
“Well?” Fer stretched her arms out. “I’m waiting.”
“Waiting for what?”
“Since you started talking about how amazing I was, you may as well finish it.”
“You’re the worst!” Kassandora said, her tone raised and Fer burst out in laughter. She howled like a cackling jackal, so loudly that even the trundling vehicles behind slowed down for a moment to inspect what was happening.
“I know I’m amazing little Kassie.” Fer proudly declared. Kassandora clenched her fists. Arascus called her Kassie, that was fine. He was her father, frankly, it made Kassandora feel like a cute and endearing girl for once. But when Fer said it?
“Fuck off. I hate when you call me that.”
“But you’re just the cutest!” Fer said and Kassandora clicked her tongue. “Look at yourself! Who else…” Fer trailed off as she ran a few steps ahead of Kassandora and turned back, her arms extended forwards to indicate everything the Goddess of War possessed. “I mean, look!”
“What I’m seeing is an annoying runt ahead of me.” Kassandora said dryly. Fer had lost size and speed and strength, but not agility. She practically bounced backwards from one foot the other, somehow managing to keep distance even though Kassandora stood twice her height.
“Oh you wouldn’t say that if I was big.”
“But you’re not.” Kassandora said flatly and directly. She cared, but there was only a certain point to how far her patience could be pushed. She knew Fer was about to hit back with another joke. She could practically taste it at this point. “You’d be big and annoying, now you’re just small and annoying.”
Fer did not take it badly whatsoever. “Listen listen girlie.” She said. “I’m the Goddess of Beasthood, I said this to Helenna once, you know?” Great. Kassandora sighed as she upped the pace. The fact Fer, still hopping backwards, managed to easily keep up made Kassandora’s blood boil.
“That you’re the Goddess of Beasthood?” Kassandora quickly said. It was a cheap shot.
It was a cheap shot that Fer batted away immediately. “That too. But I had to give her a lesson, you know.”
Kassandora sighed, utterly defeated. “What on Fer? What did you teach her?”
“Well she’s the Goddess of Love, you know?”
“Thanks for reminding me.”
“And she thought I needed a lesson on how to be charismatic and cute.” Kassandora stared at her sister and couldn’t even disagree. The Goddess of War herself was not antisocial or shy, but she wasn’t ashamed to admit that were she had to trick and negotiate and bargain, Fer could simply waltz in, say a few words, give a few looks with those big yellow eyes of her, bounce the two ears on top of her head, and get what she wanted. “So what I’m saying is that I know cute when I see it. And it’s you.”
Kassandora didn’t know if she was playing into some joke or not. She expected to be. She didn’t even particularly like the compliment. She knew she was beautiful, she knew that her crimson cloak that was her own hair turned eyes, and she wasn’t even cursed with a lack of tools like Maisara. But cute? “How?” Kassandora asked dryly. There was no matching of energy. She was simply exhausted at this point.
Did Fer sense it? Kassandora had no clue. She expected a snarky reply or a denial. Fer gave her an honest answer. “Do we ask the dog why it has fur? Or maybe the fish why it can swim? No. Why Kassie? I don’t know, but I said it so it’s true. Animals evolved to be cute, we can sniff it out like this.” She made a performative of sniffing the air as she bounced off one foot and to the other.
Kassandora didn’t know if she wanted to behead this creature in front of her or embrace her wholeheartedly. She simply kept on marching forwards. She sighed. She sighed and she kept on moving. There was nothing else to say. Fer sniffed the air again and pointed to behind her. “It’s not sulphur, it’s bone.”
“Dwarves then.”
“Dwarves.” Fer replied and Kassandora supposed it was good enough. Before this happened, they wouldn’t even need the Torchbearers in the rear because Fer’s nose would be sharp enough that the Goddess would be able to operate entirely in the dark. Now though? She barely surpassed the range of lights. And it was down here, where the only smell was a combination of stone in solid form or in dust form.
“Get in line.” Kassandora said. “They may shoot at us.” Dwarven arbalests would probably knock a hole in the thick plate of cars. Fer, who only wore a thick coat to deal with the cold air down here? Kassandora readied herself to summon her armour just in case. Her sister did not argue back, she did not even look as if she thought of arguing back. Instead she stepped to the side, let Kassandora pass by and got behind her.
“I smell sulphur now.” Fer said quietly from the back as the light of the Torchbearer tanks revealed shapes.
“Then there’s battle.” Kassandora said. The light revealed more. “Although I think I could have worked that out myself.” Kassandora had seen them before, animated skeletons in impenetrable stone armour. They stood in tight formation with spears extended out. There were floating daggers and stones circling above them. Two separate grey swarms of tiny shards of metal that looked like a voracious mass of hornets. And on the ground, just behind the skeletons. A beast.
With huge dark red scales stronger than stone, each one as long as an arm. A pair of wings that had ropes hooked around their base. Arms with claws the size of a man. Legs just the same. A barbed tail and terrible spines upon its back. A dragon. A dragon asleep, with ropes and chains attached to it, slowly being dragged on the ground by countless more skeletons. These weren’t even armoured, they simply pulled, each step slow and deliberate as they tried to pull the beast that had not been for a millennia now away from whatever that wall of pikes was preparing to defend against.
Above it all, coming from left side, where Hold Kuya should have stood, came a snake of fire. It fell onto the skeletons and bathed them in flame.
Kassandora called upon War’s Orchestra.