Grenade Fears Water
Cai Youming
In the third year of the Jianyan era, on the third day of the eighth lunar month, at the hour of Si (9-11 AM), the sun had just risen, and the market was bustling with activity. A group of five people, dressed in gorgeous clothing, walked in the lead, with shadows flickering not far behind them, as if someone was secretly following.
The person at the head was wearing a white robe, looking left and right, as if he was stepping into the Tokyo marketplace for the first time. Beside the white-robed man was a man in a green robe, dressed as a scholar, and another in black, with the air of the Jianghu. The remaining two were both dressed in red, with thick arms, steady steps, and alert eyes, clearly martial artists, walking two steps behind.
The white-robed man spoke to the man in black, "Zhang Ai... Hero Zhang, is this your first time in the capital's marketplace?" The man in black restrained his impulse to clasp his hands in salute and replied, "It is indeed my first time here. I never expected the Tokyo marketplace to be so bustling." Needless to say, the man in black was Zhang Rong, the big chieftain of Liangshan Marsh, who had come to the capital to "report for duty." The white-robed man was naturally Zhao Jiu, our Zhao Guan-jia (Official). As for why he was wearing a white robe, it was of course because someone had the odd idea of "a white dragon disguised as a fish" in his head. The remaining three were the scholar Xiao Lin in the green robe, and Liu Yan and Qu Duan in the red robes.
Why were these five high-ranking officials dressed in this way, mingling in the marketplace? It was because there was no court assembly today. Zhao Jiu was bored in the palace hall, and moreover, Lady Pan kept sending people to invite the Official to try her snow cream. While Zhao Jiu was torn between human nature and rationality, he remembered that Zhang Rong had been staying at Xiangguo Temple for a long time, and he hurriedly took his entourage, using the excuse of "inspecting customs, observing the people's labor, winning over military officials, and diligently attending to state affairs" to travel incognito.
Once outside the palace, Scholar Xiao Lin was a taciturn person who wouldn't say a word unless asked. The Zhao Official, who was originally the most familiar with Tokyo and should have been acting as a guide, seemed like a newcomer, and couldn't clearly explain the various places of interest. Others could only assume that the Official had been diligent and studious in his youth and had no time to wander around. Fortunately, Zhang Rong was also a rough and carefree man who had no interest in the famous sights of Tokyo. He simply walked towards the bustling areas, and so the group arrived at the marketplace.
Zhao Jiu and Zhang Rong chatted idly amidst the hawking of vendors, occasionally having their attention drawn to novelties on the roadside. However, given their identities and status, they inevitably talked about recent important matters of the court, such as the upcoming palace examination.
The two were discussing the folk custom of finding a son-in-law from among the examination candidates when they saw a crowd gathered ahead. Outside the circle were several dates and some crushed crisp pears. Inside the circle, there was a commotion, and suddenly a scream was heard, eliciting exclamations from the crowd.
The group immediately stopped. Liu Yan and Qu Duan stepped forward, protecting Zhao Jiu on either side, and Zhang Rong also placed his hand on his waist. Seeing that the commotion had subsided, Zhao Jiu nodded, and Liu Yan understood, immediately going to investigate. After a short while, Liu Yan returned, slightly nodding his head and saluting, "Official... Master Guan, I have investigated. It was a date vendor and a pear vendor. The pear vendor, seeing that the dates were selling well, became envious and told the date vendor's customers that eating dates was bad for the teeth and that they should have some crisp pears to quench their thirst instead. The date vendor was unhappy and started fighting with him. Unexpectedly, the pear vendor's head hit the ground when he was pushed, and he has fainted, his life hanging in the balance."
Everyone stared at Zhao Jiu, waiting for his decision. However, Zhao Jiu was looking at the crushed crisp pears on the ground, the juice flowing out, seemingly lost in thought. After a short while, Zhao Jiu listlessly told the group to turn around and return to the palace. Zhang Rong hesitated to speak, and the remaining three also said nothing. After all, it was rare for the Official to come out for a stroll, and they had encountered this incident. Moreover, their identities couldn't be easily revealed. If they rashly went up to ask, who knew what kind of trouble would arise? At this time, it was best to leave.
Turning onto another street, the group could tell that the Official was in low spirits, and no one dared to speak. When they reached a stationery stall, Zhao Jiu suddenly picked up a brush and ink and wrote a note, handing it to Liu Yan. He took a breath and said, "Have someone buy some pears, rock sugar, and goji berries and have the kitchen prepare them according to the instructions on the note." Liu Yan took the note, paid for the brush and ink, and went to find the followers behind them to make the arrangements, leaving the others puzzled. However, Zhang Rong was a carefree man, and the others had more or less seen the Official's odd antics, so they didn't ask much. Fortunately, everyone could see that the Official's mood had improved a lot, and even Scholar Xiao Lin rarely took the initiative to create a lively atmosphere.
The group chatted and laughed, and hadn't gone far when they saw two merchants dressed as vendors pushing a large cart of rotten *muzi* (kiwi fruit), crying out as they tried to sell them. However, the *muzi* were too rotten, and no one was interested. Scholar Xiao Lin and the other three didn't pay attention and were about to continue forward when Zhao Jiu quickly stepped forward, stopping the two merchants and starting a conversation with them by asking about the price. The four quickly followed, but Zhao Jiu waved them to stop.
Zhao Jiu talked with the two for a long time. The time gradually reached midday, and the sun rose higher. Qu Duan and Zhang Rong gradually became impatient. Zhao Jiu asked for a pot of tea by the roadside and drank tea and talked with the two. Liu Yan also became impatient, but Scholar Xiao Lin was slightly moved in his heart.
After a while, seeing that the sun was high in the sky, the three finally finished their conversation. Before parting, Zhao Jiu even took off an ornament from his body and gave it to the two vendors. The vendors naturally thanked him profusely and even paid for the tea before pushing their cart away.
The remaining four waited for a long time under the sun. Scholar Xiao Lin and Liu Yan had been following the Official for a long time and had calmed down after their initial impatience. On the other hand, Zhang Rong and Qu Duan became increasingly indignant.
When Zhao Jiu gestured, the four followed. Qu Duan could still hold back from speaking, but Zhang Rong felt that the Official was a righteous man. Plus, seeing that there was no one around, he couldn't help but say, "Official... Master Guan, if you were an ordinary person, it would be fine to meddle in other people's business, but you... you have a promising future. Just now, the two people on the roadside were fighting, and it might even lead to a lawsuit involving human life. You didn't pay any attention to it, but when you saw two people selling rotten *muzi*, why did you talk to them for so long? It's really... sigh!"
Hearing Zhang Rong's complaint, and not understanding the Official's godlike operation, Liu Yan and Qu Duan secretly gave Zhang Rong a thumbs-up in their hearts. Zhao Jiu was stunned for a moment, smiled slightly, and was about to explain. Zhang Rong only heard his "backer," Scholar Xiao Lin, say, "Bing Ji asked about the ox."
Hearing the incomplete sentence with no follow-up, Zhang Rong became even more displeased. Zhao Jiu and Liu Yan also began to feel confused, but Qu Duan—the second most knowledgeable person in the entire group—understood.
Qu Duan didn't dare to look directly at the Zhao Official, but seeing the blank expressions on the faces of Zhang Rong and Liu Yan, these two big rough men, he couldn't help but feel a surge of superiority.
So he spoke eloquently, "Bing Ji was the Prime Minister during the reign of Emperor Xuan of Han. One morning in April or May, Bing Ji went out with his servants and saw that someone had been killed by the roadside. Bing Ji told his servants to take a detour. After a while, he saw a man leading an ox, and the ox was sweating. Bing Ji went up and talked to the ox driver for a long time, asking him why the ox was sweating and whether it had done a lot of work. Afterwards, the servant asked Bing Ji why he cared about the issue of the ox sweating but didn't care about the human life lawsuit, and whether it was a case of mistaking the trivial for the important."
Bing Ji replied that the local prefect and constables would naturally investigate what you see as a major event. This kind of thing doesn't require the Prime Minister to personally manage it. On the contrary, the small matter of the ox sweating, which you see as trivial, concerns the spring plowing of the country and the problem of countless people's food.
It's morning now, and the sun hasn't risen yet. If the ox is sweating without having done much work, it means that the climate is abnormal and the temperature is too high. This year, the people are likely to encounter a drought. How can I not ask?
After Qu Duan finished his proud explanation, he didn't dare to look at the Official, but glanced around. He saw Scholar Xiao Lin nodding slightly, and Zhang Rong and Liu Yan were in a daze.
Zhao Jiu was the first to react, coughing to attract everyone's attention and said, "That's right. Just now, the two vendors were fighting, and there were witnesses and evidence. All that's needed is for the constables to handle the case and the doctors to save people. We can't help much by going up. But the vendors selling rotten *muzi* clearly have special circumstances. Looking at their clothes, they don't seem like people who have been reduced to selling rotten *muzi*. So, either they were delayed on the way to the city for a long time, or they were blocked from selling, causing the *muzi*, which can be preserved for half a month, to rot. Unobstructed roads or someone maliciously obstructing business are all major events concerning security, taxation, and the stability of the people's hearts. How can I not care?"
Scholar Xiao Lin, Liu Yan, and Qu Duan, while admiring the Official's ability to see the big picture from small things, couldn't help but feel secretly alarmed. Zhang Rong, after listening, didn't care about the occasion and immediately knelt down to apologize, saying, "I, Old Zhang, am a rough man and always had the idea that the court was unfair and the ministers were all daydreaming. Just now, I maliciously speculated on the Official... the Master's thoughts. Now I know that the Master's thoughts are different from ours, rough men, and the reasoning is greater. I beg the Master to punish me for this."
After hearing this, Zhao Jiu quickly helped Zhang Rong up and said, "Hero Zhang is straightforward. What crime is there? This Official and many people around me have also misunderstood Hero Zhang. Therefore, in the future, we need to understand each other and endure for the sake of the country." After Zhang Rong got up, he said, "Master doesn't need to say more. I understand. In the future, I will tell the people under me about the Master's righteousness. I will also seriously explain the situation in Shandong during court discussions so that the people around the Master will understand me."
In this situation, it was a harmonious scene of a wise ruler and loyal subjects. Zhang Rong sighed, drawing everyone's attention, and said, "I've suffered from a lack of education. I don't see things as thoroughly as the Master and everyone else. I've decided that in the future, my sons must all study, and my daughters must marry educated men."
Scholar Xiao Lin, hearing this, was about to say something but thought about the current occasion and decided to say it later. Qu Duan, hearing Zhang Rong's praise, couldn't help but have different thoughts, thinking that his knowledge was only a little worse than people like Scholar Xiao Lin and better than most literati. As for martial men like Zhang Rong and Liu Yan, he disdained to compare himself to them.
After hearing Zhang Rong's words, Zhao Jiu naturally didn't expect the people around him to have petty thoughts. Instead, he said, "The world is not yet settled. Studying is certainly good, but we must not abandon military preparedness. Master Lin, go back and send a note to the other masters. In recent days, in addition to allowing goods to pass through all the city gates, he should specially designate a city gate for merchants to travel through. Don't delay business because there are too many examination candidates. If they tighten up here, the slippery yamen runners below will start squeezing oil from the people. Selling *muzi* and not giving benefits, they were actually blocked for half a month. It's outrageous." Scholar Xiao Lin quickly responded.
Then, the group changed into their court attire along the way and accompanied Zhao Jiu back to the palace. They waited in the hall. After Zhao Jiu changed back into the Official's attire, he said to Lan Yaban, "We and the officials have not yet eaten. Go prepare some." Lan Yaban agreed and went to make the arrangements. Scholar Lin and the other three quickly thanked him. Zhang Rong also reacted and quickly saluted. After a short while, Lan Yaban returned and said, "Master, the meal will be ready soon. In addition, Commander Liu has sent back a note with the words 'Rock Sugar Pear Soup' written on it. It has already been prepared. Would you like to try it first?"
Hearing this, Zhao Jiu slightly cheered up and said, "Bring it up immediately and distribute some to the officials." The others then remembered the note that the Official had written in front of the stationery stall and couldn't help but look forward to it. After all, something that the Official, who had tasted all kinds of delicacies, was thinking about must be a delicacy.
When the attendants brought the "Rock Sugar Pear Soup" to the desks of the people, their mouths were dry, and they were already drooling from the faint fragrance in the bowl. However, out of etiquette, they couldn't move first. Seeing this, Zhao Jiu took the lead, first picking up a spoon and drinking it. The others followed suit and tasted it. Just as they were about to praise it, they saw Zhao Jiu close his eyes, sit upright, and say nothing. The others were shocked and quickly put down their spoons and stood up. Lan Yaban even knelt down directly, and Zhang Rong almost knocked over the table, shouting "Black shop!"
After a long while, Zhao Jiu opened his eyes. Qu Duan was sharp-eyed and noticed that the Official's eyes were red, as if he was holding back tears.
After another while, Zhao Jiu slowly said, "Everyone, please rise. I have startled you. This thing is called Rock Sugar Pear Soup. It is my favorite drink. I... in the past... when I was young, I occasionally had a fever, and all medicines were ineffective. My mother personally made Rock Sugar Pear Soup for me. After drinking it, my fever went down, and I got better. I haven't had this thing for a long time. Drinking it today, I didn't expect that after so long, the taste is still the same, but my mother is not by my side!"
The others apologized again. Zhang Rong was moved and said, "Since the Official misses the Empress Dowager, he can bring her here. After all, although the road is long, but..." Saying this, Zhang Rong realized that there was silence around him and realized that the mother the Official was talking about was not Empress Dowager Meng in the southeast. He quickly shut his mouth.
Zhao Jiu sighed and said, "I hope I can see my mother again. My heart is in turmoil. I want to be alone. After you have eaten, you can leave on your own. Today's events are not allowed to be spread." After saying this, he got up and left. The others acknowledged. Those who thought they were smart, like Lan Yaban, guessed that the Official was not thinking about Empress Dowager Meng at all, but about Empress Dowager Wei, his "birth mother" far away in the Northern Kingdom, but...
Turning to the back hall, Zhao Jiu was seen clenching his fists, tears streaming down his face, murmuring, "Mom, I miss you, I miss the Rock Sugar Pear Juice you made for me with your own hands!"