122: Chapter 121: You’re Actually Masturbating 122: Chapter 121: You’re Actually Masturbating “Psh, I knew the boss couldn’t get time off,” Zhao Yan couldn’t help herself but to make a snide comment.
“Let’s go, let’s go.
Let’s just go eat.”
Song Yun was already speeding towards the courtyard in his car, paying no mind to Zhao Yan’s instigation.
Images were flashing in his mind—one moment it was Xiao Qing, that little minx, in a bra, and the next moment it was Qingluan’s healthy, elastic skin.
But the image that dominated his thoughts was Li Shishi in an alluring bellyband, shy and blushing—it was just too damn exciting.
Song Yun could hardly handle it by just the thought alone.
“Who was on the phone just now?” Qingluan, fresh from a bath and toweling off her still-damp hair, asked.
“You were here moaning and groaning—do you feel unwell or something?”
“It was Song Yun on the phone.
He said he’d abandon us to go pick up girls, so I had to fake a scene by myself,” Li Shishi replied with a shrug.
“What the hell, Song Yun dares to go out and pick up girls behind our backs?
Let’s go, we’re not eating at home tonight.
We’re going out,” Qingluan said, fuming with anger.
After rushing back to the courtyard with all speed, Song Yun discovered, to his mother’s regret, not a single soul was there.
His phone rang, and upon answering, he spoke, “Where are you guys now?
Why is there nobody home?”
“We thought you weren’t coming back for dinner, so we went out to eat.
What’s up, is there something wrong?” Li Shishi feigned confusion.
His own lingerie show, oh those snow-white thighs, those soaring breasts, had all slipped away from him.
Ah, if only heaven could grant me one chance to do it all over again, I swear I would never fall for that trick again and come back.
Song Yun, who had been utterly bewitched by Li Shishi’s coquettish cries earlier, hadn’t been in the right mind to consider the soundness of the situation.
Now, upon returning and finding an empty house, he of course realized he’d been duped by Li Shishi’s cunning plan.
“Eat up, Li Tang and the others called me out for dinner.
Gotta go, hanging up now,” Song Yun said sadly, almost with a sob.
After the call ended, Qingluan, having downed her centenary egg tofu, asked, “What did Song Yun say?”
“He said he’s eating out.
Told us to enjoy ourselves and not to worry about him,” Li Shishi explained as she picked at her food.
Qingluan nodded, unaware Song Yun was dying of misery at that moment.
Song Yun tossed and turned before he realized a very, very serious problem: there were no ingredients left for cooking.
If he were to go out to buy some, he’d have to take quite a walk.
Heartbroken, Song Yun decided to just stick with instant noodles.
Then the phone rang.
Song Yun snatched it up, half-hoping it was that little brat Li Shishi calling to apologize with a clear conscience and to actually invite him to dinner.
Instead, it was Xun calling.
“Hello?
What’s up, Xun?” Song Yun answered the phone.
“Brother Yun, are you still coming?
If not, we’ll start without you,” Xun said.
“The wife has prepared a feast for me at home, so I can’t just ignore her kindness.
You guys enjoy yourselves outside, we’ll catch up another day,” Song Yun said, deflated.
“Heh heh, boss, are you at home eating ‘sister-in-law’ or the food?” Xun suddenly teased mischievously.
“Get lost.”
After preparing the instant noodles, Song Yun felt so pitiful that he even added two eggs.
He realized a very serious issue: as a child, sadness could nearly kill him, but as an adult, no matter how heartbroken, he’d still fix himself a bowl of noodles without forgetting to add an egg.
Tsk tsk, is this the price of growing up?
Song Yun thought as he sat on the couch with a bowl of instant noodles, pondering whether to survive or to perish.
Just then, a scream came from behind him.
Song Yun turned and saw Xiao Qing standing there with a flush on her face, looking at him in shock, her eyes wide as if she had seen something astonishing.
Song Yun thought to himself: is eating noodles really worth such a fuss?
If you want some, there’s more in the pot.
“So you didn’t go out to eat with Shishi and Qingluan.”
“Mm…
I had something to deal with, so I didn’t go.
But…
Senior Brother Song, are you seriously jerking off to ‘If You Are the One’?” Xiao Qing exclaimed incredulously, then quickly covered her eyes with the speed of lightning, although her fingers were spread wide – proving her shyness while still curiously ogling.
“Jerking off?” Song Yun was taken aback.
“I am not jerking off, I am just simply eating noodles.”
“I saw what I saw, your hand was moving up and down – if that’s not jerking off, what is it?” Xiao Qing pouted, recalling the adult films she had been tricked into watching by her girlfriends, which featured scenes where a woman…
Song Yun felt he was about to be wrongfully condemned to death.
The noodles he had just cooked were very hot, and he never thought of himself as having an iron jaw capable of gobbling them down quickly.
So, he sat cross-legged on the couch, put the bowl between his legs, and picked some noodles up and down to cool them.
Little did he know that this small action would be mistaken for jerking off by Xiao Qing, whose imagination was indeed quite vivid.
In an attempt to prove his innocence, Song Yun lifted the bowl and declared loudly, “Look carefully, this is instant noodles, not jerking off.”
Xiao Qing gave him a suspicious glance, then moved closer and said after indeed finding no ‘evidence’ of the crime, “Oh…
sorry, Senior Brother Song, but that gesture really was indecent.”
“…
Just shut up, will you?
Even if I was doing that ‘thing’ earlier, your screaming would’ve left me totally uninspired,” Song Yun shot back.
“…” Xiao Qing didn’t want to dwell further on the topic with Song Yun.
She eyed the noodles Song Yun had cooked and asked, “Senior Brother Song, is there any more noodles?
I didn’t eat much tonight, and I’m starving.”
“Just help yourself from the pot.
I made a bit too much tonight.”
After the meal, Li Shishi and Qingluan came back too.
Seeing Song Yun lying on the bed, aimlessly watching ‘If You Are the One,’ Li Shishi said cheerfully, “Weren’t you out eating?
How come you came back so early?”
“Cough cough, after dinner, Li Tang and the others wanted to hit the bar.” You know me, I’m a family man, so I came back early,” Song Yun shrugged.
“Psh, I’ll spare you the embarrassment of calling out all your little secrets.
I’ll let you save face.” Li Shishi poured herself a cup of water, seemingly oblivious as she asked, “So, were those younger sisters you dined with tonight good-looking?”
“There were no younger sisters!” Song Yun exclaimed indignantly.
“Do you think I’m that kind of person?
I’m so pure, so kind, so socially responsible.
Do you think I’m one of those jerks who think about nothing but harems and stud-horses all day?
Stop always assuming the worst in people.
I take care of all your meals and lodging in this house, and yet you have the nerve to bully me for no reason.
It’s just not right.”