Gentle Sleep Instructor
Chapter 241 Knot in the Heart
She herself had lost count of how many drinks she'd had.
She was also the only one among them who addressed Jiang Cheng as "Mr. Jiang," instead of "Jiang Pan'an," "that guy," "handsome," "cutie," or other such random names.
After a few seconds, Jiang Cheng slowly turned his gaze back to her.
Nan Jin's face, hidden in the dim light, seemed even redder, but she mustered her courage and asked in as steady a voice as possible, "Mr. Jiang, are you... thinking about something?"
A shimmering light danced in her eyes from time to time. She had beautiful eyes, just like her mother.
But unlike the hardness and coldness in the latter's eyes, hers held a timid, innocent quality, like a lost fawn.
Distant, guarded, yet endearing.
Some say alcohol is poison, even when mixed with soft drinks.
But for Nan Jin, only such "poison" could open her heart.
She suffered from a relatively rare psychological issue.
Avoidant personality disorder.
A type of personality disorder characterized by pervasive social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy, and extreme sensitivity to negative evaluation.
The resulting problems can significantly impact a patient's social and occupational functioning.
Such patients often feel that they lack social skills and attractiveness, and are at a disadvantage in all aspects, making them overly sensitive and self-conscious.
Low self-esteem, coupled with excessive sensitivity and fear of rejection, makes it especially difficult for patients to take the first step and establish close relationships with others.
These patients usually begin to exhibit shyness, reclusiveness, fear of strangers, and inexplicable panic in the face of sudden new things or sounds in their early childhood.
Unlike Ms. Qin, who was so focused on her work that she neglected her daughter's feelings, Nan Jin's mother was "meticulous" towards her daughter.
She even gave up her position as a senior executive in the company for her daughter, content to be a full-time mother at home.
From daily meals to her daughter's clothing, academic performance, hobbies, habits... and everything else, she wanted to control it all.
She was doing her best to mold her daughter into the most perfect work of art in the world.
In stark contrast to the excitement and joy of sitting in the front row, watching her daughter take to the stage and be illuminated by the spotlight, was Nan Jin's face, exquisite but indifferent.
It would be more accurate to say that her mother loved... controlling her, rather than loving her.
Controlling her to pursue a "perfect" life that didn't belong to her.
Her mother... was simply using her to make up for the regrets she had once left behind.
Long ago, before taking over the family business, her mother had dreamed of being an actress.
She looked forward to one day appearing on the screen, showing her most brilliant self to everyone.
But after that dream was crushed by reality, it was watered into the soil, and eventually cultivated into her.
She didn't know if her mother saw her own past self in her.
But she knew one thing very well: according to her mother's personality, even if she didn't see her past self in her, she would still cut out her own shadow and stick it on her.
Forceful... was her most direct impression of her mother.
What she said had to be done, and what she liked and wanted had to be obtained. The things she asked her to do also had to be done.
Only in this way would her mother love her as always.
She only loved that radiant... self.
The "ugly duckling" who had shed all her achievements and glory was not worthy of her mother's love.
It was also the long-term high pressure and anxiety that often led the already outstanding her into a vicious cycle of doubt and self-doubt.
Her mother's intensified spurring sounded like a death knell in her ears.
Accusing her of why she wouldn't be a little more outstanding...
If she were a little more outstanding, then she would be one step closer to her mother's dream...
But... that was her mother's dream, not hers.
She had no interest in showing herself on the screen, and even feared it.
For her, those boring materials, rigorous numbers and characters, and cold chemical materials were more attractive.
She just wanted to be an ordinary person, neither noisy nor boisterous, hiding behind the scenes, living a quiet life alone, holding hands with someone she loved and who loved her in return.
Being stared at by Mr. Jiang in front of her, Nan Jin felt more and more uneasy. The former's silence made her wonder if her words were inappropriate, or... if he was blaming her for interrupting his thoughts.
"Clink."
A crisp sound rang out, and the pale red wine in the glass rippled, looking like blood under the refraction of the light.
Before Nan Jin could react, Jiang Cheng reached out and gently touched her glass with his own.
"Mr. Jiang..."
Nan Jin was slightly stunned. When she reacted, she was as flustered as a child who had done something wrong, although she didn't know why.
But at that moment, that was indeed what she thought.
Like the scavenger who interrupted Marquez's thoughts by picking up a Coke can, belatedly realizing it, yet unable to control herself.
Taking a sip of wine, Jiang Cheng sat upright on the sofa with his glass, his aura out of place here.
"I'm waiting for someone," he said.
Because of the light, she could only see his eyes.
The noise here was out of control, but looking at the eyes of the man in front of her, she suddenly had a strange thought, as if... all the noisy sounds ended here.
Like a ladle of boiling water poured on an iceberg.
Moreover... even though she was standing and Mr. Jiang was sitting on the sofa, he should have been looking up at her, who was in a high position, but the result seemed to be that she was looking up at him.
He just sat there, looking out of place with everyone here...
He had been excitedly drinking with the others not long ago, but the next moment he suddenly fell silent, squatting alone in the corner like a colorful poisonous snake.
After retracting its fangs, quietly waiting for the next batch of prey to come to the door.
"What kind of person?" she asked, almost involuntarily.
But as soon as she said it, she panicked. They had only known each other for a few days, and it seemed a little presumptuous to ask such a private question...
The next moment, she saw the man in front of her turn the empty glass upside down on the marble-glazed table, his slender fingers drawing a beautiful arc in the air.
"I'm waiting for someone who is willing to drink this glass of wine with me," Jiang Cheng raised his eyes and replied, "Miss Nan Jin."