Shen Muzhou fell silent. Beneath the moonlight, a faint blush appeared on his pale cheeks, and he felt his heart pounding, his breathing ragged.
He only knew that his emotions fluctuated with hers. He didn't want to make things difficult for her, didn't want her to get hurt.
But was this feeling romantic love between a man and a woman?
Though he hadn't yet grasped the nature of love and desire, he was certain that liking her would bring her endless bloodshed.
Furthermore, the woman in his dreams had troubled him for many years. It seemed that ever since he contracted his cold illness, he had been intermittently dreaming of that woman. He always thought of her.
Seeing his hesitation, Lin Yanxi knew the answer. Her eyes dimmed, and then she flashed him a brilliant smile. The smile was too radiant, failing to conceal a hint of melancholy in her eyes.
She shrugged, feigning nonchalance, "I don't want to marry you."
"It's getting late. I need to return to the manor quickly and take the carriage to the estate. I'll bring the lychees for Mother to try."
His Adam's apple bobbed. When he heard she didn't want to marry him, his heart inexplicably ached. "The royal carriage is parked outside the palace gates. It's too late, let me escort you."
The court was fraught with undercurrents, and curse masters still lurked in the shadows. He could not afford for her to have any misstep.
Lin Yanxi shook her head. "Now that you and I have aroused His Majesty's misunderstanding, I think it's best to maintain some distance."
"Besides, Princess Chaoyang's matter... Ai, hiss, I haven't finished speaking yet."
Shen Muzhou didn't allow her to refuse and directly led her to the carriage, placing her inside.
Lin Yanxi counted the lychees in the glazed plate. There were eleven in total.
She peeled one, and the sweetness of the lychee immediately filled their nostrils. She noticed Shen Muzhou watching her. After a moment's hesitation, she painfully handed him a peeled lychee and asked, "Should I give the first one to you?"
Shen Muzhou caught her wrist and leaned down. His warm breath tickled her hand, making it feel itchy.
He parted his sexy, thin lips and bit into the lychee in her hand. His lips brushed against her fingertips, sending a jolt through her like an electric current, making her heart flutter.
Within the carriage, only their breaths rose and fell, weaving a seductive atmosphere, as if thinning the air, making their heads spin and their cheeks flush.
What a seductive rogue, truly a demon. What was he trying to tempt to death with this act?
She cursed inwardly and then nervously lowered her gaze to the lychees in the plate. She peeled another and put it in her mouth.
The lychee was sweet and refreshing, cool to the touch, and it helped to calm her wildly beating little heart.
Shen Muzhou let out a soft laugh, shaking off his earlier gloom. His eyebrows rose. Was this what she meant by not wanting to marry him?
"You were just sulking and said you'd never speak to your mother again. Now you've changed your mind?"
She glared at him. Thinking of her mother, she still felt a little unhappy, her voice tinged with melancholy. "She's my mother, after all. I just don't understand why she can dismiss hurting me with the excuse of doing what's best for me."
A deep sorrow, unsuited to her appearance, colored Lin Yanxi's face. Her almond-shaped eyes were bright, her lips like crimson clouds, and her delicate brows slightly furrowed, as if every smile and frown could stir his heart.
He always felt that such a sorrowful look shouldn't grace such an exquisitely stunning face.
"There must be a hidden reason behind your mother's actions. She simply had to act that way after weighing the pros and cons."
Lin Yanxi still looked somewhat sad. "But I just feel like she doesn't love me. She's never treated my third sister like this."
"When third sister returned to the manor, I made a sachet with my own hands to give to her, but she didn't even glance at me. She thinks everything I do is wrong. She thinks I'm a terrible person, vindictive and narrow-minded..."
Her voice grew lower and lower, and the last syllable trembled.
Shen Muzhou couldn't bear to hear her speak of herself like that. "There are people in this world who are fierce and ruthless, and who seek revenge for every wrong. If they don't act that way, they can't protect the people they want to protect."
"To survive, I've done worse things. So no matter how bad you are, you're not as bad as I am. Your goodness needs to be seen by those who believe in you."
Lin Yanxi didn't look at him, but the gloom in her heart lifted somewhat.
---
The Estate.
Lin Yanxi stepped down from the carriage, the plate in her hands. The gate of the estate was wide open, and there was no sign of activity within.
She glanced at Shen Muzhou subconsciously and walked in.
As soon as she entered the estate, she saw several servants lying on the ground, their blood staining the white stone bricks.
"Mother, Mother!"
Lin Yanxi realized something was wrong and rushed towards the front courtyard. Little Six followed them, squatting down to examine the servants. They were already dead.
Along the way, many bodies lay scattered on the farmland. They had been brutally murdered.
Not a single one was whole.
The wooden door of the main courtyard was slightly ajar. Lin Yanxi's steps faltered, her heart pounding. She was afraid to face what was behind the door.
Before Lin Yanxi could push the door open, a heavy scent of blood filled the air.
Her voice trembled as she tried to suppress her sobs, and she called out weakly and cautiously, "Mother..."
There was no response from within. The deathly silence made Lin Yanxi's heart sink. The moment she pushed the door open, her mind went blank.
The glazed plate of lychees she had been holding tightly dropped to the ground with a crash, shattering into pieces. The purple-skinned lychees rolled into the pool of blood.
Jiang Wan was dead.
She lay dead in the courtyard of the estate, blood splattered everywhere. In her youth, she had been one of the most beautiful women in the capital, fond of riding horseback in a red dress, full of fiery spirit.
But now she lay lifeless, her face a bloody mess, her original beauty unrecognizable. Her plain clothes were soaked in blood, and her beloved slender fingers were broken one by one. She had died in the most tragic manner.
Twenty years ago, she met Lin Ze. At that time, Lin Ze was not yet a Grand Tutor, but merely an ordinary official in the palace. Yet, she fell in love with that young man at first sight. He was exceptionally talented. People said scholars were jealous of each other, but he was humble and refined, yet capable of debating scholars for his ideals of governing the country. He seemed to radiate an attractive aura.
After they married, she felt trapped within the deep courtyards, constantly worried, her beauty fading like a wilting flower.
She died on the last day of June. On that day, a light drizzle fell over Nanmin City. She tightly clutched the sachet she had carefully embroidered in her hand. She wanted to wait a little longer.
To wait for her Zhaozhao to come, to wait for her young love to come, to wait for Yan'er to come.
But in her hazy state, she saw her father and brother. They said they would take her back to the Jiang family, let her be the carefree and unrestrained young lady of the Jiang family again, and no longer be confined to the inner chambers.
She was overjoyed, her mind filled with memories of her past troublemaking days, free and unrestrained with her father and brother protecting her. But she hesitated. "What about Zhaozhao?"
Yes, if she left, how would her Zhaozhao survive in this chaotic world? What would happen to her destiny?
Zhaozhao, I'm sorry. Actually, Mother lied.
Mother loved Zhaozhao the most. In Mother's heart, no matter what kind of young lady Zhaozhao was, she was the best in the world, unique.
It was just that she hoped Lin Yanxi would be safe, to be more ordinary, even more ordinary, so ordinary that she wouldn't attract any attention, and live a boring, uneventful life like countless other ordinary people.
Jiang Wan gasped for breath, lying on the ground, feeling the pain of her bones breaking and muscles tearing. The pain made her convulse, even lose control of her bodily functions. She watched her blood being slowly drained away, her life ebbing to its end.
It seemed she wouldn't be able to wait any longer. Mother wishes to be eternally reborn in the Avici hell, in exchange for Zhaozhao's lifelong peace and good fortune.
Shen Muzhou notified the Dark Night Guard to investigate and sealed the news.
When Lin Yanxi saw the scene before her, the vast expanse of red blood assaulted her eyes. Her lips trembled, her ears buzzed, and a splitting headache overwhelmed her. She collapsed onto the ground.
Her hands, propped up in the blood, stained her clothes and palms red. She crawled pathetically towards Jiang Wan's corpse.
She was surprisingly calm, her gaze merely appearing helpless and grief-stricken.
Lin Yanxi embraced Jiang Wan. She trembled as she reached out and gently caressed Jiang Wan's lifeless, blood-soaked face.
"Mother was very particular about cleanliness. Father said Mother was extremely vain when she was young."
Lin Yanxi let out a soft laugh, murmuring. She rubbed her hands on her clothes and then continued to try and wipe the blood from Jiang Wan's face.
"It's all blood. Why can't I wipe it clean?"
"Mother, I brought you lychees. Look at me. Don't leave me as a child without a mother. Mother, don't leave me here alone. Please."
Her voice choked with sobs towards the end. Her hand accidentally brushed through Jiang Wan's hair and touched three pieces of iron. Three salt nails had been driven forcefully into Jiang Wan's head.
How could this be?
Salt nails were a type of nail that could drain a talisman master's cultivation. Each was three inches long and had to be driven into the skull while the talisman master was alive to be effective.
Mother wasn't a talisman master. Even if she was harmed by curses, why would salt nails be driven into her?
Through her tear-blurred eyes, she saw a sachet tightly clutched in Jiang Wan's palm.
The sachet was clean, though crumpled in her hand. On it, crookedly embroidered, were the words: Health and Longevity...
So Mother knew everything. Mother didn't not care about her.
"It's too late. Everything is too late."
She sobbed, her eyes filled with endless regret. Her slender, fair hands stained with blood, in her utter grief, she helplessly clutched Shen Muzhou's robe. When she looked up at him, tears streamed down her face.
"Shen Muzhou, help me. Save Mother. I don't have a mother anymore. Help me save her. Actually, actually, Mother loved me. She was holding my sachet."
"It was the sachet I embroidered."
"My mother was driven with soul nails. How much pain must she have been in? Father said Mother also feared pain..." Why, why was it that twice I couldn't save her? Will I never have a mother to call again? Never have a mother's love again?"
In two lifetimes, she hadn't been able to save her mother.
Lin Yanxi's voice was childish and tearful, causing a pang in the heart.
Shen Muzhou looked down at the small figure covered in blood at his feet. Her helpless eyes were full of sorrow and pain. This was the first time he felt unable to help her, leaving her to be consumed by pain.
That feeling of powerlessness was like a blunt knife, cutting into his heart again and again.
He suddenly remembered his own childhood, when his mother was humiliated, he was also so helpless, wishing someone could help him, save his mother.
Shen Muzhou knelt on the ground. This was the first time he wanted to become someone's light, to dispel the shadows for her, to pull her out of the abyss. Yet, he himself was someone who couldn't reach the light.
He hugged Lin Yanxi tightly. Her small body sobbed and trembled in his arms, melting his hard, cold heart.