"Do you think the King of Beasts will kill you?" Murong Ziheng suddenly asked. Feng Moran was the Empress Dowager's revered teacher, and their relationship was close, but it couldn't compare to Murong Sheng Rui's relationship with the Empress Dowager. Everyone had witnessed the Empress Dowager's affection and protection towards him. The mistakes Murong Sheng Rui had made were probably more damaging to the Empress Dowager than anything Feng Moran had caused.
If Dugu Man had truly transformed into a vengeful spirit seeking retribution, Murong Sheng Rui would be the first person she would go after.
"If she wants to kill me, I will never fight back," Murong Sheng Rui said faintly. "It's just a pity that she won't even look at me directly anymore. Ziheng, do you think that once something you possess is lost, can it be found again?"
"Murong Sheng Rui, wake up. Lost things, even if found, will never be the same. And lost people can never be found again!"
After returning to the palace, Feng Moran fell ill. The imperial physicians were helpless. Upon hearing the news, Xiao Man immediately went to visit him.
The Tantai Palace was still deserted, with only a few servants attending. Feng Moran lay on the bed, looking sickly. Seeing Xiao Man arrive, a flicker of joy flashed in his eyes, which he quickly concealed. He turned his head, feigning ignorance of Xiao Man's presence.
Xiao Man sat by the bed, placing down the food container she was carrying. "On the way to the palace, I passed a dried fruit shop. The candied fruits were fragrant and sweet. Master, please try some."
Feng Moran sneered, "Do you still have me, your master, in your eyes?"
"If I didn't have you in my eyes, I wouldn't have come to the Tantai Palace today," Xiao Man said. She picked out a piece of candied fruit and bit into it, the sweet and sour taste filling her mouth. "It's just, Master, you probably never had me in your heart, did you?"
"How do you know I don't have you in my heart?" Feng Moran turned his head and stared at Xiao Man, asking.
Xiao Man let out a cold laugh. "From childhood, you only ever demanded that I study this and study that. If I disliked it, you would hit my palm. If I cried, you would punish me by making me kneel. If I couldn't solve the problems you set, you would punish me by forbidding me from eating..."
"My strictness towards you was for your own good, because I wanted you to become an excellent emperor!"
"Did Master ever ask me what I wanted?" Xiao Man looked up and met Feng Moran's gaze. "You always imposed what you wanted onto me. The things I liked, you would destroy. The things I wanted, you never gave me. Even the man I loved, you opposed. I am a living person, not a dog you raised! Even dogs sometimes disobey."
Xiao Man reached out and swept the food container onto the ground. The colorful preserved fruits scattered everywhere. "When you were happy, you would play with me. When you were unhappy, you would cast me aside and disappear. When I was being bullied, you were never there. When I was being chased, you wouldn't come to my rescue either. And you still dare to say you had me in your heart?"
Feng Moran opened his mouth, but couldn't utter a word. He wanted to tell Xiao Man that his heart was only for her, but the words were too pale, too weak, and utterly unconvincing. He had indeed spent too little time with Xiao Man.
"I'm sorry, I spent too little time with you, but it was also for your own good."
"Enough! Master, I don't need your company. I need your understanding, your support!" Xiao Man's eyes were filled with tears, but she stubbornly refused to let them fall. "What I want is for you to, when I tell you I like a certain man, worry that I might be deceived, and go to great lengths to investigate his character and family background, to plan for me. Instead of simply obstructing me. In my heart, Master, you are like my father, my closest kin. I thought you would dote on me and spoil me like my father did. But in the end, it was just my wishful thinking."
Feng Moran looked at Xiao Man in shock. Father, was he just a father to Xiao Man?
"Do you know..."
"Master, do you know that Mo Han and I have had a marriage contract for a long time? This engagement was also approved by my father," Xiao Man interrupted Feng Moran. "Father said that Mo Han is a rare good man, and if I were with him, he would treat me with his whole heart. Doesn't Master want me to have a good home?"
Feng Moran fell silent. He didn't know how to answer. He wanted Xiao Man to have a good home, but not with someone else. Had he made a mistake? Should he not have been traveling far and wide for years, scheming this and that, but instead stayed with Xiao Man as she grew up?
"Do you hate me?"
"I want to hate you," Xiao Man said without hesitation. "But I can't. Father said you are free, like the wind, and no one can keep you. To avoid annoying you, I would always smile and send you off, hoping for your early return. I would run to the National Teacher's mansion day after day, waiting for one day, then another, waiting for years and years, but you never came back."
"I'm sorry, I didn't know..."
"It's alright," Xiao Man sniffled. "Fortunately, I have friends. Nan Gong Yi accompanies me in my mischief, Xue Kun argues with me, and Mo Han bickers with me. I gradually stopped going to the National Teacher's mansion, and no longer expected you to return. But in my heart, I still respected and loved you. But Master, did you truly regard me as your disciple?"
"I..."
"You didn't," Xiao Man said with a bitter smile. "You were always absent, never knowing when you would return or when you would leave. I doubted countless times if Master had another disciple. When you left me, were you teaching someone else hand-in-hand, reading and writing, practicing military strategy, and cooking your signature Braised Lion's Head for her?"
Feng Moran's pale face grew even paler, because what Xiao Man said was the truth. During the years he had left Xiao Man, he had been in Yun Qi, by Dugu Man's side, teaching her hand-in-hand to become a strategist, and then personally destroying her!
"You are different," Feng Moran explained. "To me, you are special."
"Master, your 'special' is truly laughable," Xiao Man said, standing up. "Please take good care of yourself. I won't disturb your rest anymore."
"Xiao Man," Feng Moran called out to her.
Xiao Man paused for a moment, then left without looking back. As Feng Moran watched Xiao Man disappear, he suddenly coughed up a mouthful of blood. He had exhausted all his efforts and schemes for her, only to end up losing both his love and his wealth in the end. It was truly laughable.
Feng Moran chuckled, his laughter growing louder and louder. Even Xiao Man, as she walked out of the Tantai Palace, could hear it. Ying Xue, following behind her, whispered, "Could Young Master Feng have gone mad?"
"If he's mad, you won't be," Xiao Man said faintly. In her swollen red eyes, there was no trace of sadness or grief. She had learned to act in front of Feng Moran, so much so that even she herself believed that she truly respected and loved Feng Moran.