Perhaps it was the stimulation from the day, or perhaps she had slept too much, but Song Qinian lay in bed with no hint of sleepiness. She tried to calm herself down, but her thoughts kept wandering.
At one moment, she wondered if Shen Chi Yan had reached home, and if he felt she was unkind given the heavy snow on his journey back.
At another, she thought about Li Jun Shen returning to Jinghua City, and what she would do if she saw him again.
Then she thought of Hamburg and Song Guan Liang. The more she thought, the more distressed she became.
Every time she felt that life held hope, life would strike her a heavy blow.
The first time, when she was heartbroken by Liu Xiao Han's violence and cold words, she met a boy who was like an angel. He was handsome and exceptionally talented at playing the violin.
Whenever she heard him play, her mood would lift. Sometimes, they wouldn't speak, he would play his violin and she would draw, neither disturbing the other, yet it was incredibly peaceful.
But Li Jun Shen delivered a crushing blow, causing her to develop PTSD, making her unable to touch small animals, and unable to speak.
In college, she met Shen Chi Yan. He was like a beam of light that stirred her heart.
The night she became intimate with Shen Chi Yan, she had no awareness of it. The next day, upon seeing it was Shen Chi Yan, she was both happy and scared, because Shen Chi Yan's gaze towards her was terrifying.
Later, she learned that her own birth mother had drugged her, and Shen Chi Yan intensely hated her. She thought there was no possibility between her and Shen Chi Yan in this life, but a turning point came in an instant, and she married Shen Chi Yan.
She thought that once married, she would use all her love to melt Shen Chi Yan's heart. Sincere effort would move mountains, and eventually, Shen Chi Yan would surely fall for her.
But she had spent three years without warming Shen Chi Yan's heart.
Just as she resolved to give up, to let him go and let herself go, Shen Chi Yan came to her again, saying that the person he had always loved was her.
During this period, she saw how Shen Chi Yan treated her, and even his attitude towards her and Lin Qiutong was quite clear, which made her waver slightly.
And at this very moment, Li Jun Shen reappeared.
His appearance instantly transported her back to that terrifying and dreadful memory, making her feel nauseous and fearful whenever she thought of it.
The snow outside grew heavier and heavier. Song Qinian hugged herself tightly, feeling broken and desperate.
People are particularly vulnerable when they are ill, and she was alone. Thinking back on all the past events, she found it increasingly difficult to control her emotions.
She hid under the covers, releasing her sadness and depression.
At this moment, it would be good if someone were by her side, even if they didn't speak, just to accompany her.
Suddenly, Song Qinian sensitively heard the sound of the bedroom door opening. She was greatly startled, biting her thumb tightly, tears flowing even more torrentously.
Although Song Qinian had asked him to leave, Shen Chi Yan had no intention of going.
Song Qinian had a fever and her legs were inconvenient. How could he rest assured and leave?
He thought Song Qinian was asleep, so he cautiously walked to the bedside, intending to quietly hold Song Qinian and sleep for the night.
By the light from outside, she saw Song Qinian's quilt shaking, as if she were still trembling.
Realizing something was wrong, Shen Chi Yan thought something had happened and immediately pulled back the quilt, "Qiqi, what's wrong?"
Song Qinian hadn't seen Shen Chi Yan at all. After hearing his voice, she could no longer control her emotions and hugged him tightly.
Don't leave her!
At least tonight, don't leave her here alone!
She would go mad!
Shen Chi Yan then realized Song Qinian was crying, her body trembling violently, as if she had been scared.
He gently patted her back to comfort her and softly reassured her, "It's okay, it's okay, don't cry, I'm here, don't be afraid."
Song Qinian couldn't be easily comforted. She held Shen Chi Yan tightly, venting her emotions.
At this moment, Shen Chi Yan's presence gave her a great sense of security. At least for this moment, she couldn't leave him!
Shen Chi Yan got into bed and comforted Song Qinian for a long while. Hearing her silent sobs, he felt unbearable pain in his heart.
Song Qinian couldn't speak. No matter how much pain, how much distress, how much despair she felt, she couldn't express it in words.
When he didn't want to say anything, he had no idea what she was thinking.
He regretted leaving the room earlier even more.
At this moment, Shen Chi Yan's mind suddenly recalled what Grandma Song had said, "Don't let Nian Nian's lively and cheerful nature fool you, she is actually more afraid of loneliness than anyone else. If possible, I hope you can spend more time with Nian Nian."
Yes, Qiqi was so afraid of loneliness. Even though she had asked him to leave just now, she surely hoped he would stay.
How could he have been so foolish, thinking she didn't want to see him?
"Good girl, I'm right here, nothing will happen."
Under Shen Chi Yan's comfort, Song Qinian's emotions gradually calmed down. She didn't ask why Shen Chi Yan, who had left, had returned.
Perhaps, she was afraid to ask.
Or perhaps, she wasn't mentally prepared to hear his answer.
She closed her eyes and leaned gently against his chest, which gave her a sense of security. Before long, she fell asleep.
Shen Chi Yan looked deeply at Song Qinian's small face and lowered his head to lightly kiss her forehead. "Qiqi, goodnight."
Perhaps it was because Shen Chi Yan was present, but Song Qinian slept through the night without dreams until dawn.
When she woke up again, Shen Chi Yan had already brought breakfast.
For the next few days, Shen Chi Yan stayed with Song Qinian. He moved his work to Qilixiang Du, which made Li Nan Xun travel back and forth between the company and Qilixiang Du.
Song Qinian didn't know what to do about Shen Chi Yan staying at Qilixiang Du. She didn't ask him to leave, so Shen Chi Yan openly moved in, and even had Gao Kun Lun bring all his favorite clothes to Qilixiang Du.
Sometimes when Shen Chi Yan went out, she would ask Zhang Qiaoqiao or Shen Keqin to keep Song Qinian company, ensuring that Song Qinian would never be left alone at home.
"Sister-in-law, do you know what my brother has been doing recently?"
Song Qinian shook her head. Shen Chi Yan had been quite mysterious lately, and she didn't know what he was up to.
"Hey, I know! Do you want to bribe me to tell you my brother's whereabouts?"
Song Qinian raised an eyebrow and slowly gestured, "I'm not that curious about where he went."
Shen Keqin pouted, "Ah, why aren't you playing by the rules? My brother has been staying here during this time. Haven't you two..."
Shen Keqin gave Song Qinian an ambiguous look. Song Qinian, who had just taken a sip of water, almost choked.
Speaking of which, she had been sleeping in the same bed as Shen Chi Yan recently, but it was limited to sleeping, and nothing had happened.