Chapter 266: Chapter 266: Diarrhea Non-Stop
Can’t Stop the Runs
Lady Zhao nodded, "Mm, okay, okay, then I’ll start preparing for you both."
When the two young girls heard this, they understood that Lady Zhao was getting ready to find husbands for them; delight sparkled in their eyes.
The poor, vain little maids didn’t yet realize that their fate was not to marry some dashing young gentleman and become the official wife.
Instead, they’d end up as the chamber maids or concubines serving a pot-bellied old man!
Seeing how happy they looked, Lady Zhao snorted inwardly, then waved her hand, "Alright, you can go back now. Go tidy yourselves up—only when you look pretty can you catch a man’s eye."
She was just praying those two silly girls could redirect her husband’s wandering heart away from the vixen outside and back to his own home.
The two young girls hurried to answer, then, full of excitement, returned to their rooms.
On the other side, after drinking his medicine, Niu Baishun groaned and, of all things, started dozing off in his seat; when he accidentally banged his head against the table, he suddenly woke up.
Niu Baishun rubbed his forehead, puzzled, "Ouch, why did I fall asleep?"
Xiao Guizi immediately sidled up flatteringly, "Sir, you’ve been napping for quite a while. I saw you were in so much pain last night you hardly slept, so once you finally nodded off today, I didn’t dare disturb you."
"Mm, mm." Niu Baishun made noises and nodded—he really was sleepy, hadn’t slept a wink because of the pain the previous night.
"Pain? Wait." Suddenly something struck him, and Niu Baishun raised his right hand with the ointment, delighted, "Oi, Xiao Guizi, my hand doesn’t seem to be hurting anymore!"
"Hey, you know, that little girl—even if she’s young and a bit annoying—her medical skills are pretty unbeatable!"
"I’ve tried plenty of medicines from other physicians, but none did a thing. This kid’s impressive—one dose and I already feel better!"
Xiao Guizi nodded and bowed, "Oh, if you ask me, Sir, it’s just because you’ve got good fortune—Heaven didn’t want you to suffer any longer, so you got better so quickly!"
"You really know how to please me." Niu Baishun burst out laughing; with his finger pain gone, his mood was excellent.
And when he felt cheery, his wandering thoughts popped up—before he knew it, he was daydreaming about Lady Ru Hua at Yan Chun Tower, her gentleness making his heart itch.
He stood up at once and said, "Xiao Guizi, let’s go to Yan Chun Tower and have a little fun."
The master and servant hurried off to the brothel to find some girls, but this time, Niu Baishun would have something happen that’d scar him for life.
Once at Yan Chun Tower, Niu Baishun couldn’t wait to wrap himself around Lady Ru Hua and head to a room for some action.
When they’d stripped down to flesh and bone, and were about to get to business, Niu Baishun’s stomach suddenly rumbled and started to ache and drop downward.
Niu Baishun was very familiar with this feeling—he needed the privy!
Ru Hua was still waiting for the main event, yet saw Niu Baishun stop moving and asked what was wrong.
Niu Baishun’s face went ashen; he abruptly sat up and, in a panic, scrambled to pick up his clothes.
Ru Hua just sat there, baffled, and asked in confusion, "Sir, what’s going on? Did I not serve you well enough?"
Now Niu Baishun’s face had gone not just white, but red too—he was holding it in.
He could barely stand it, so while furiously pulling on his clothes, he hurriedly said, "It’s nothing, I just need to, uh, go to the bathroom first—beauty, wait for me..."
Before he could finish his sentence, suddenly...
Bluuurgh... pfffft...
BANG!!!
A burst of explosive noises, and instantly, a wave of stench wafted across the room...
Niu Baishun: ...
At that moment, he honestly wanted to die.
Ru Hua on the bed was completely stupefied; next second, she covered her nose with both hands and instinctively shrank away from Niu Baishun.
Niu Baishun, body stiff as a board, originally wanted to change clothes, but that urge in his belly surged up again!
He could only chuck his pants aside, grab a sheet, wrap it around his lower body, and dash for the outhouse.
He ran into Xiao Guizi outside and shouted at him to get hot water and clean clothes ready.
Then, under everyone’s weird stares, he rushed into the toilet...
With the room door wide open, thick waves of stink filtered out.
Everyone instantly guessed what had happened.
And so, Niu Baishun’s pants-pooping mishap at the brothel, witnessed by the ladies of the house, quickly made its way around Yan Chun Tower.
When the news finally reached the ears of the Sun Clan members at De Ren Tang, three days had already passed.
In the back courtyard, a few kids were laying out medicinal herbs to dry.
Sun Daqing, who’d overheard the embarrassing tale about Niu Baishun, came running back and told everyone, "It cracked me up! I heard they said Niu Baishun crapped his pants and ran butt-naked around Yan Chun Tower."
As Sun Daqing told the story, he was already laughing so much his stomach hurt.
The kids hugged their bellies too, laughing, "Serves him right—that’s karma for all the rotten things he’s done."
Sun Daqing and Sun Daxiang, who were in charge of weighing out herbs, actually knew the real reason.
Their little cousin’s prescription included a herb called Da Huang, which has the effect of purging accumulation, clearing heat and toxins, cooling blood, removing stasis, promoting menstruation, and treating jaundice—mainly used for heat-induced sores.
But Da Huang is also a strong laxative and treats constipation. With that dosage in the prescription, it was plenty to give Niu Baishun the runs.
And then Sun Daqing and Sun Daxiang, eager to teach Niu Baishun a lesson, added even more Da Huang to one of his packs—and put that one at the front.
Who’d have thought, after taking the medicine, Niu Baishun would head off for pleasure at the brothel, and that’s how he ended up with this sidesplitting disaster.
After everyone had laughed awhile, Sun Xiaoyu suddenly asked, "Brother, what kind of place is Yan Chun Tower? Is it a restaurant?"
Sun Daqing reached out and tapped her on the head, "Not a good place at all. You’re too young, you’ll understand when you’re older."
"Oh." Sun Xiaoyu pouted—she wasn’t happy with Sun Daqing’s brush-off, muttering under her breath, "You’re not even a grown-up yourself."
After telling everyone Niu Baishun’s joke, Sun Daqing ran off to the front hall, to the pharmacy.
Usually, there weren’t all that many people coming for diagnoses and medicine, so the family took turns helping out at the pharmacy.
Today, it was Sun Daqing and his father, Sun Youli’s turn in the shop; Sun Daji was still on money and bookkeeping; Sun Kang was the physician on duty, and Zhao Zhitong came by to help after school.
At that moment, Zhao Zhitong was giving someone cupping therapy.
Niu Baishun came in again for medicine—last time he’d been given enough for three days.
After three days, his finger infection was basically healed. This time, he had come mostly for his diarrhea.
When he came in, Sun Kang happened to see him and said, "Hey, big merchant Niu, looks like your finger’s almost recovered?"
Niu Baishun glanced at his hand, "Yeah, nearly healed, but I don’t know what’s up with my stomach. It’s been nonstop the whole time, give or take four or five trips a day to the toilet—just miserable."
Sun Kang glanced at Zhao Zhitong, smiled, and said, "That’s normal, that’s actually a good sign!"