Chapter 83: Chapter 83
Music Recommendation: Repeat Until Death by Novo Amor.
....
"How was your day?" Dominic asked, his voice mild, and almost too soft for a man like him.
Celeste paused in the doorway, caught off guard by the sound. He hadn’t spoken much, or should she say not at all? He hadn’t spoken to her in days.
Not since the hospital. Not through the funeral. Not even in the car ride home. And now, as if nothing had happened, he tried this thin thread of conversation.
She studied his face for a moment, but his eyes wouldn’t meet hers. "You don’t have to speak if you don’t want to," she said quietly.
With that, she crossed to her side of the bed and slid under the duvet. The rustle of fabric was the only sound between them.
"I’m sorry," Dominic murmured. The apology was so faint, and so fractured, that she almost thought she imagined it. But she heard the catch in his voice.
Still, she didn’t turn toward him. He had built his walls too high these past days, and she was too tired to keep climbing.
There was a long pause. Then the bed shifted as he stood. He had locked himself in his study and she didn’t see him before leaving for work, and after returning.
Without another word, Dominic moved toward the bathroom. The door slid close softly, but the sound was louder than it should have been.
Celeste sat up slowly. "Dominic?" she called.
No answer.
Her stomach tightened. She pushed the duvet back and padded to the door. She pressed her hand on the door, and it slid easily.
The sight inside stopped her breath.
Dominic was sitting on the cold tile floor, back against the wall beside the shower. His knees were pulled up, and his elbows balanced on them, with his hands gripping his hair as though it was the only thing keeping his skull from shattering.
His head was bent, his breathing a sharp, ragged mess. Each inhale was too quick, and too shallow. Right before her, he looked like his lungs couldn’t remember how to work.
His shirt clung to him with sweat, even if the bathroom was well conditioned. His skin looked almost grey under the bathroom light.
She stepped inside without a word, her bare feet making no sound on the marble floor. She passed the jacuzzi, and reached the shower space.
"Hey—hey, it’s okay. I’m here," she whispered softly, kneeling in front of him. "Dominic, its me. Look at me."
He didn’t look at her. His eyes were glassy, and far away. At that moment, she knew he was somewhere she couldn’t reach. His jaw was clenched so hard she could hear the faint grind of teeth.
"It’s not—" His voice cracked, breath catching on nothing. He shook his head violently, as if to shake off words that might betray him.
Celeste’s own chest tightened. She reached for his wrists, gently prying his hands from his hair. He resisted, a tremor running through his arms.
"Breathe with me," she murmured. "In. Out. Just like that."
Dominic clenched his fist, and tried with her, but his breaths only grew faster, panic snowballing into something that seemed to consume him from the inside.
He felt like he was drowning, and couldn’t hold on to a wave, but kept on being crushed by the waves, while he kept hanging around. The voices in his head increased a hundred percent.
Celeste’s eyes widened, seeing him like that. His always calm expression was gone, replaced by every word he hadn’t said since the funeral.
Fear! Celeste saw fear in his expression.
She had known him for almost three years, and she never thought she’d one day see him this way. Slipping through her fingers.
Celeste knew he loved Nana, and was very much attached to her, but she never thought he’d be this affected by her death, considering how well he took her illness.
Without another thought, she stood and turned on the shower, letting the warm spray hit her skin. Then she reached for him, tugging him gently but firmly until he followed her under the water.
At first, he resisted. But then he sagged forward, the heat of the water mixing with the heat of his uneven breath against her neck. His hands found her waist in a desperate, clinging grip.
Dominic trembled in her arms, and allowed all vulnerable parts of him to show. He stripped off all his masks with courage, and held her waist more firmly, for support.
He had never held anyone this way for support, and he’d give anything to hold her this way again. He never knew a day would come when he doesn’t have to write this Chapter of his life alone.
She wrapped her arms around him and let him collapse into her, the water streaming over both of them, soaking her hair, his clothes, the floor.
His breathing was still erratic, but with each passing minute, the rhythm began to slow. He trembled against her, not from cold, but from the release of something he had fought too hard to contain.
Celeste rested her chin on his shoulder, as he towered over her in the hug. "I’ve got you," she whispered, over and over, until the words became part of the sound of the water.
By the time his breath finally steadied, the weight of his body against hers told her he was exhausted. He was all round exhausted.
She reached behind him, turning off the shower, and guided him to sit on the edge of the tub. His head dropped into his hands again, and he rubbed his face.
Celeste didn’t ask questions. She didn’t push. She just stayed there, a hand on his back, feeling the quiet after the storm settled around them.
"Don’t go, you’re half of me now." Dominic breathed. He raised his face from his palm, and stared into her eyes. "I’m sorry. I am sorry about the past few days.... I’m really sorry,"