My younger brother, Illumi Zoldyck, turned one year old today. It seems I've been neglecting his existence a little too much.
Hmph, I admit, in my eyes, he doesn't even measure up to a single feather of the falcon I'm raising.
To mark his first anniversary, I shall be magnanimous and speak a little about him.
Anyone who has read the original work knows he is a cruel creature who would casually slaughter large numbers of innocent bystanders for his own purposes, and he is a control freak whose desire for control is off the charts, a source of perpetual psychological trauma for his future younger brother, Killua.
In terms of strength, while Silva is stronger than Illumi, Killua fears Illumi the most among the Zoldycks. He fears him to the point of sweating profusely, fearing his elder brother more than his own father. This is enough to show how terrifying Illumi's methods are towards Killua.
Thinking of this, the little Illumi, toddling not far away, doesn't seem so cute anymore.
It is said that young animals and human infants are generally born cute to stimulate maternal instincts, elicit more care, thereby increasing their chances of survival and ensuring they have more survival resources and space.
Objectively speaking, little Illumi's round, apple-like face, so rosy and pink, is so adorable that I desperately want to rush over and pinch it. Fortunately, my will is strong enough that I wasn't swayed by his good looks.
Little Illumi's caretaker, wanting to please another Zoldyck present, namely "me," guided little Illumi to walk towards me.
Hmph, I didn't come here willingly. It was the elders who demanded that I look after my brother, and I had no choice but to come.
"..." I crossed my arms, adopting a resistant posture.
Because I am (forced to) report here on a fixed schedule every day, little Illumi is already very familiar with me. Under the guidance of others, he has even learned to call me "Kie-jie." This unclear pronunciation... Well, pronouncing "older sister" is indeed more difficult for a toddler of only one year than saying "mama" and "papa."
"Kie-jie," little Illumi's chubby hands grabbed the hem of my clothes.
"..." With others present, I, as the "older sister," couldn't dodge. I could only feign touching his head.
My neck suddenly felt a tightness. Little Illumi curiously grabbed the whistle I was wearing and pulled it in both directions. "...Mm."
"!" Dammit, I forgot to put the whistle inside my innermost layer of clothing today.
How dare he touch my things! Can I apply to have him killed immediately?
No, no, I'm a reliable adult. I calmly pried his fingers open and quickly created distance.
Little Illumi froze for a moment, then took a step forward, relentlessly pursuing me, or rather, my whistle. "Kie-jie, Kie-jie!"
Kie-jie your head! You really know how to pick out good things! This is your Kie-jie's favorite whistle!
With the dual advantage of age and physical ability, I knew I couldn't really offend the eldest son of the Zoldyck family. Anyway, my check-in task for the day was almost done, so I decided to flee, employing the thirty-six stratagems.
Returning to my lovely pink bedroom, I pulled an unread picture book from the bookshelf, sat on my soft bed, surrounded by throw pillows and stuffed animals, and decided to use the picture book to calm my nerves.
The richly colored illustrations, paired with sparse text, were very soothing to look at, a textbook children's picture book.
My recent lessons have only taught me a few simple words, and reading a complete story is still difficult. So, I handed the picture book to my caretaker and asked her to read the story on it for me.
"Once upon a time, in the farthest north of the world, there was a small country."
The picture showed a cluster of houses of varying heights and layouts, with the tallest building in their midst being a castle.
"A country of only white snow, which made the queen very bored. One day, she summoned her daughter."
The queen's hair was pure white, outlined with light gray thread, while the daughter's hair was slightly grayish, so the outline was dark gray.
"Her most intelligent and beautiful youngest daughter."
Aha, as expected, it's the youngest daughter again. This setup is so cliché. No, it's so classic that it's reassuring.
The weary soul of a seasoned office worker needs the gentle and stable comfort of children's stories.
"The queen said, 'My dear daughter, I have an important task for you to carry out.'"
"'This country should not have only winter.'"
"..."
The ending was that the youngest daughter snatched the sun from another country. She single-handedly killed all pursuers along the way. When she returned to the palace, the one sitting on the queen's throne was her eldest sister. The queen who wanted the sun was dead. The current queen did not want the sun, so the youngest daughter left with the sun, going to a place no one knew.
"??????" What is this story trying to convey? It's neither a tragedy nor a comedy; it's just very baffling.
A knock on the door interrupted my thoughts. It was Kikyo. Upon closer inspection, she had brought little Illumi with her.
"Kie-jie!"
Hearing this childish "Kie-jie," my heart collapsed.
It's one thing for Kikyo to come, but why did this little ancestor have to come too?!
In the "real world," what I feared most were brats. They are scourges that can destroy everything within their line of sight. I try my best to avoid them, wanting to lock the door quickly and prevent them from ruining my things.
"Illumi is always calling 'sister,' 'sister.' It seems he really wants to play with you," Kikyo explained. "You should get closer to your brother."
Bullshit! He's calling me "Kie-jie," and the dialogue box even says "Kie-jie." And he doesn't want to play with me; he wants to play with my whistle!
I cautiously covered my chest. Close call, thankfully I hadn't taken the whistle out from my innermost layer yet.
Fearing that he might take a liking to other things in my room, I immediately jumped off the bed and ran to Kikyo. Using all the sign language and lip-reading skills I had learned in my life, I firmly expressed my willingness to take my brother to the amusement park.
The so-called amusement park is an area equipped with children's play facilities within the Zoldyck's Mt. Kukuroo territory. It has common children's play equipment like slides, climbing nets, trampolines, sandpits, and swings.
But those are for little kids. I, a reliable adult, have long since graduated from such things!
I only visit here sometimes to fit the persona of a young child. I prefer to explore freely in the back mountains.
Especially now that I have a falcon, isn't it more exciting to run around the back mountains with it?
Tsk, playing in the sand with "my" brother reminds me of the team-building activities I hated most in the "real world," where they occupied employees' rest time under the guise of fostering team cohesion.
Here it comes, the professional skill of a seasoned office worker: empty the mind.
While seemingly building sandcastles diligently, my mind was blank. Like a high monk entering deep meditation, I contemplated nothing. The void of all things allowed my tired spirit as a seasoned office worker to find solace and rest.
Little Illumi called out "Kie-jie," but I turned a deaf ear.
Little Illumi tugged at my sleeve, but I remained unmoved.
Yes, I am but a tree. The mind is a bright mirror. Bodhi originally has no tree, nor a bright mirror's stand. Originally there is nothing, where can dust alight?
As if I were a Buddha, I calmly touched the head of this little rascal... oh, no, my brother Illumi, and pulled my feet out of the sand he had buried them in.
Oh, you are a reliable adult. Don't argue with a one-year-old toddler. At his age, he doesn't even know what "malice" is.
He's playing with you, even though you don't want to play with him.
"..." As if struck by sudden enlightenment, I stood up, took his hand, and led him to a few scarecrows near the sandpit.
The scarecrows in the amusement park were small and short, only a head taller than me.
I picked up a plastic knife from the ground and poked it into the scarecrow's body. With a "plop," red paint flowed out from where it was poked. Don't ask me why such sinister items are in an amusement park. Let me tell you, there's more than one such item. You need to remember that this is Zoldyck, a family of assassins. Some forms of education start from childhood, which is quite reasonable.
"Wow," little Illumi exclaimed, both surprised and excited by the scarecrow's transformation.
He followed suit, picked up a plastic knife from the ground, and poked it into the scarecrow's body. Due to his height, he poked it in a spot below where I had poked, and as expected, red paint flowed out again.
"Wah, wah!" He couldn't speak very well yet. Waving his hands, he could only express his feelings with "wah wah" sounds.
See, what a promising young assassin! Quickly! Arrange a full course of electric shock interrogation for him, so I can have some peace and do what I need to do alone!
On the surface calm, but inwardly immensely gratified, I picked up the plastic knife and handed it to little Illumi, hoping he would further display his assassin talent. The bright future of the family depends on you, the eldest son of the Zoldyck family, Illumi Zoldyck!
He held the plastic knife, tried to stand on tiptoe, and wanted to poke the scarecrow's face.
"Mm..." He tried several times without success. He grabbed my sleeve with one hand and pointed the small knife at the scarecrow's face with the other, as if asking for help. "Ooh, ooh!"
This kid is a bit heavy. No, I'm not much older than him. It would be a miracle if I could lift him!
Defeated, I looked at little Illumi's caretaker and gestured to him. Understanding, he stepped forward, picked up little Illumi, and then Illumi uninhibitedly poked the scarecrow's face. "Wah! Wah—!"
The scarecrow's features weren't simply drawn; they could also bleed. So, after he poked it, it bled from all seven orifices... This thing is too detailed, damn it!
"Illumi, oh, Illumi!" Kikyo, who had been watching nearby all along, looked at little Illumi poking the scarecrow until it bled profusely and exclaimed with great excitement, "Mommy is so moved! I'm so happy! Oh! You will surely become an excellent assassin in the future!"
Oh, please rest assured, yes, he definitely will. I've read the original work, and I know he will become an excellent professional assassin, killing people every day.
"...And you, Mill." Kikyo's gaze shifted to me.
"?"
"You are also very excellent!"
"??"
"You hit the target's heart with one strike!"
"?????????"
No, no, no, I just poked it randomly! It was the height, just the height was right!
"Don't worry, Mill. It's okay even if you can't speak, you can still become an excellent assassin!"
"?????????????"
No, no, won't it be inconvenient if you're mute! How can a mute person communicate business with clients? Will they look down on you, thinking that no one is available in the Zoldyck family, and even disabled people can be hired?
Lost in her own world, Kikyo clasped her hands. "Having two such excellent children, Mommy feels like she's about to die from happiness!!!!!!!"
"..." I just felt a headache.
"Come, Mill, you continue." Kikyo proactively picked up a plastic knife for me, handed it to me, and said with anticipation, "Work hard with your brother to become excellent assassins."
"..." No, well, isn't Illumi enough? Are you sure you want a mute person to be an assassin?
"Mill?" Kikyo's tone deepened, her words becoming commanding. "Mill."
I'll do it!
Fine, I'll do it!
Considering I've been eating at the Zoldyck family's expense for over a year, I'll do it, alright!
Poor office worker, even in another world, I can't resist my superior's orders because I have to rely on them for a living.
Ah, what could be the root of the proletariat's tragedy?
Facing the scarecrow, imagining the hideous faces of the wicked capitalists, I raised the plastic knife in my hand.