It's funny, being a professional assassin was something I'd often fantasized about in the "real world."
Think about the assassins in movies and TV shows, and similar special professions like agents and spies. Wearing sunglasses, a long trench coat or a suit, walking the line between life and death, navigating through hail of bullets – it all felt incredibly cool, right?
Bang! Bang! Bang! Intense car chases, unexpected explosions – it gets the adrenaline pumping and makes you cheer.
But if I were to actually do this job, considering more realistic issues, I'd realize I'm the type who "loves dragons but is terrified when they appear." After all, I wouldn't have to endure the brutal training myself, so I'd conveniently overlook the hardships of the profession.
After becoming a corporate drone in the "real world," I had long forgotten all my impractical fantasies. My biggest dream was financial freedom (laughs), so I could just lie around and do nothing (laughs).
No, let's face reality. Even if I were mute, the Zoldyck family wouldn't keep a freeloader at home for free. According to the original story's setting, except for Alluka, who could potentially destroy the entire family and thus do nothing all day, every other Zoldyck family member is either out working or handling online intelligence work at home. Everyone has their designated role and fulfills their responsibilities.
So, what's my designated role? A happy (?), little mute? That's definitely not going to cut it.
If I don't want to be an assassin, with the advantage of being born earliest, why couldn't I, like in a certain fanfiction, get ahead and snatch the "stay-at-home, do online intelligence work" shut-in position?
Then I could openly live the otaku life, keeping my computer company, surfing the internet daily?
Isn't that exactly the life I once dreamed of in the "real world"?
No... no no no no, I can't do this. I can't indulge in pleasure and casually give up the grand game objective of "defeating all the bosses in this world"... even though the three bosses closest to me are clearly not achievable in the short term, calculating in decades, which makes it rather despairing.
The key thing is... uh, well, I'm not good with computer programming. Seeing a screen full of code gives me a headache. God knows how I passed the Computer Proficiency Test Level 2. It really requires talent, truly.
Although I'm reluctant to accept reality, well, didn't I end up in this crazy game precisely because I couldn't accept "reality"? Although I'm reluctant to accept reality, when a "Human Anatomy Atlas" appeared on my desk, I realized I truly couldn't deviate from the main path of becoming a professional assassin.
What's coming is coming... Uh, isn't this kind of book too early for me? I'm still just a child!
Poor corporate drone, after being beaten down by reality in the "real world," and then transmigrating into an "otherworldly game," I still have to endure the Zoldyck's beatings in the near future. Oh, to be precise, it's "interrogation training."
I mean, you Zoldycks are a super-rich family who bought an entire mountain. You've long since completed your primitive capital accumulation. Why did your ancestors have to be so stubborn and pass down the craft of "professional assassination" through generations? Being a professional assassin is not only life-threatening but also damages your karma. Look at how few Zoldyck family members above Silva are left! After completing the bloody primitive capital accumulation, you should have invested in real estate and stocks. It's more profitable and less dangerous! Don't you know that in the "real world," my ideal place to be reborn would have been a wealthy family like that of real estate magnate Wang Xilin?
Hmph, fine. It's too late for them to change professions now. The Zoldyck assassin family name is too famous, attracting too much attention. Once their combat prowess declines and they become ordinary businessmen, it would only take minutes for the family to be wiped out by enemies.
They are part of a general trend, stuck between a rock and a hard place. They can't play the financial games like ordinary wealthy families, making money from money, indulging in food, drink, and revelry every night. They have to uphold the good qualities of working people – diligence, and that labor is glorious.
Me too, I have to live up to Kikyo's expectations and pore over the "Human Anatomy Atlas."
Rounding it off, it's "mutual appreciation."
What else can I do? Life has taught me through its beatings: ordinary people must act like ordinary people. Ordinary people must go with the flow.
Oh, "Human Anatomy Atlas." I'm not unfamiliar with this book. In the "real world," besides fantasizing, I also had some common flaws among young people – excessive curiosity, or rather, a "mischievous hand."
A mischievous hand that searches for images it knows will be disgusting, horrifying, and unforgettable, like "Giantism" (a colloquial term for a bloated corpse), just for the thrill.
Human desires are endless. Once the initial discomfort subsides, one continues to seek stronger thrills and more brutal expressions. In the last period of my life in the "real world," I would still recall the "changes in a corpse within thirty days after death" that I had seen before. The thought of my corpse crawling with maggots even excited me a little. I don't want my half-rotten corpse to be seen by others and leave them with psychological trauma. It's better to let nature's creatures decompose it quickly, leaving only unrecognizable bones – that's the most dignified state.
However, after being beaten down by life, I also lost my idle curiosity for the bizarre. I no longer want to watch mind-bending movies I used to watch for sophistication. When I'm mentally and physically exhausted, watching brainless, sweet, slice-of-life anime is my only salvation.
Only in the last few years of my life did I understand why corporate drones like to watch slow-paced, uneventful, slice-of-life anime where characters just act cute.
Alas, I didn't understand the meaning of words when I first heard them, but now I'm the one in the situation.
"Human Anatomy Atlas" and the like are nothing more than a snack. I've already graduated from such subjects and just want to watch comedy slice-of-life manga to relax.
"Myll?" Kikyo is calling me, "Lost in thought? Very interested?"
No, no, I was just zoning out.
"..." I realized I'd been on the same page for too long, so I made a hasty move to turn to the next page, and then another.
Kikyo's insistence on me reading this book is really annoying. This book is extremely boring for both adults and children. I'm yawning just looking at it.
Why isn't Illumi growing up faster?
Let Kikyo supervise him!
It's so tiring for me here!
No, I can't be the only one suffering.
According to the original setting, the Zoldyck childbirth production line is planned and regulated. Normally, they have a child every six years. This allows them to focus their energy on raising one child until they are six years old, a stage where they don't require too much worry, before starting to raise the next. Thus, the first three children, starting with Illumi, were born six years apart. After the third child, the exceptionally talented Killua, was born, it was decided that Killua would be the future family head. From then on, subsequent children were not born according to the rule; they were born randomly, one per year. Whether it's Silva's capability or Kikyo's, they were extremely prolific. They only stopped after having five sons.
That's the crucial point! Why, starting from me and up to Illumi's birth, did the "one child every six years" rule not apply? That's naturally because... I'm mute, with a significant defect.
From this point of view, the Zoldyck family doesn't have high expectations for me. As for Kikyo's expectations of me... well, it's hard to say. Perhaps it's maternal affection?
In any case, the intensity of the training I'll receive in the future will definitely be less than that for Illumi, a legitimate heir!
I don't fear hardship, but I fear pain!
As long as the Zoldycks don't subject me to an electric shock interrogation suite of assassin courses, I can handle any other course! No matter how tough or tiring, I can do it! Don't underestimate the all-nighter capabilities of a seasoned corporate drone!
The primary issue right now is Kikyo. I think she just doesn't have enough children and is a bit too idle. Illumi is still young and can't be pressured too much, so I've become the unlucky one, the focal point of Kikyo's attention.
No, no, I can't be the only one who's unlucky. I need to try my best to shift Kikyo's attention focus to Illumi.
What is my duty?
As the Zoldyck family's only mute... no, as the eldest sister!
I must bravely shoulder the responsibility of an elder sister, guiding my dear younger brother Illumi onto the path of a professional assassin quickly, so he can be the first to experience the privileged, exclusive electric shock interrogation suite assassin course.
This way, he can mature quickly, I can repay the Zoldyck's favor of providing food... no, their nurturing, and I can "kill" the three major bosses of the Zoldyck dungeon with a clear conscience, ending this game sooner!
Excellent, killing two birds with one stone. A perfect plan.
Using gestures and lip-reading, I expressed to Kikyo that reading alone was too boring and I wanted to share this new book with my brother.
Kikyo highly approves of anything that promotes children's assassin education. Not only was my suggestion adopted, but Kikyo further optimized it by adding a segment of watching movies, which is less boring.
Once a week, under the supervision of an adult, we watch 18+ content.
Oh, don't get the wrong idea. It's not romance films, but splatter films.
As a battle-hardened veteran, I felt nothing when blood splattered across the giant screen in the home theater, even thinking some special effects were a bit fake due to the era's limitations.
Then, for the first time in a long time, I seriously considered Illumi's psychological health. He's just over a year old. Can he withstand such sensory assault?
In reality, a toddler who hasn't established a complete common sense will only look confused when watching such scenes.
He doesn't know the meaning of the movie scenes; he simply can't understand them.
By the time he can understand... he will probably have become accustomed to bloody scenes, which should help him maintain composure and perform his duties as an assassin.
Years later, to my surprise, and to everyone's surprise, such movies had another indelible indirect impact on him, almost hindering his path to becoming a professional assassin.
But that's a story for another time.