It was an odd thing, plotting murder. It wasn't killing itself that was difficult. It was the aftermath. First, you have to deal with the body, and you have to make sure that you can get away with it. When trekking across mountainous terrain, with no guide but the sun, scarce food, and the fear of predators. Murdering the people who stood between you and certain death was a bad idea. I had no resources beyond my dagger, though I was loathed to reveal its existence, even if it would have helped us survive.
Elis was far more useful alive than dead. She had many tricks. The first night we spent was not by a normal fire. Elis placed wood down on the ground, got a stick, and drew in the dirt, starting with a circle around three feet wide. Then she left again, returning with flat rocks around palm-sized. Taking out a small knife from her pocket, she carved a circle and more strange symbols into the stone. Then with some muttering. All three stones had a candle-like fire around five inches tall, sprouting from the center of the circle, though they were a bit brighter than a candle should be.
"Myr, search around the area and gather as much wood as possible. Keep adding it to the pile." Elis ordered. I didn't argue, but my curiosity, though, was unending. I left, returning with bundles of sticks and fallen logs, and added them to the pile. Elis and Surian paused whatever conversation they were having.
The traveling had been slow torture. My feet were killing me from the constant uneven terrain. I was hungry, only subsisting on wild nuts and berries. The days were cold, and nights were freezing. As if Anier personally wanted me to have as horrid a time as possible, my moonblood had started the day before, and I had no choice but to grit my teeth and suffer through the discomfort and cramping. Still, I had to tend to Surian. Making sure she's safe, fed, and warm.
I was waiting for the perfect opportunity, a moment where I knew I had a solid chance of reaching civilization, and remote enough that their bodies wouldn't be found.
"Why a knight?" Surian asked. We rested by a shallow stream a full three days into our travels.
"They're rather dashing, plate armor, horses; it's all very dramatic."
"You don't seem the type," Surian said.
"What type do I seem like?"
She squinted at me, pursing her lips. "I think you would be a masterful actress."
I laughed. "Why would you say that?"
"It took me some time to notice, but now, I'm sure. You have a skill most don't notice: The ability to become anything you desire."
Her smile widened. "You play the role of personal maid perfectly. Demure, considerate, dedicated. But during the ambush, you deduced that the highest probability of survival was to find me and Elis. So, you braved a battlefield, witnessed death, and now you still play the role of the maid again. No nightmares, no lingering tremors from horrors of battle. That's the flaw in the performance. You're too dedicated. So absorbed in the role, you can't abide actions that conflict with it. So now I wonder if I've ever seen the real you."
"What does it matter in the end? And besides, from what I've seen, no one amongst nobility shows their true selves."
Surian shrugged, "I suppose that is true. We're all mummers on a stage in the end."
The silence between us lasted for several minutes, until she spoke again. "You know, Myr, I think you would have made a decent magus. You have that drive that seems to compel them. While I have the weight of two titles on my shoulders, a third, if we don't die in this damned forest, becoming a magus isn't my highest priority."
'Emyr thought the same. I wonder how he would react to me, preparing to kill one of the nobility. He'd probably think of me as a monster. Is there anyone in this world who wouldn't if they knew the real me?'
"Did you want to be anything other than a Baroness?" I asked.
She was silent for a full minute before she answered, "Painting. I wanted to be a painter."
"Why didn't you?"
"Like you, Anier decided my fate at birth. I am to be a baroness, a woman of high station and influence." Surian didn't sound very enthusiastic.
'It's all the same in the end. People playing the roles they're given. Surian, the maid whose name I still can't remember. It's all a large mummers play. I played my part for fifteen summers. I tire of acting.'
~
We traveled around hills and valleys, through rivers. It took two weeks before we reached the Adjuran hills. It was tall, rocky, and unfortunately, the fastest way was to climb it. That took almost two days.
We walked along a rather precarious path at least 500 feet from the forest below. To our left was a rather intimidating cliff; to our right was a nearly vertical fall. The path was only about ten feet wide.
"Elis, look," Surian shouted as she pointed.
Elis squinted, relief flooding her features as she saw the border town. It was hard to estimate, but it was at least two or three days away. Since, from this high up, I could barely see the tops of houses on the horizon.
I sighed heavily. "Thank Anier, it's going to be over soon."
"We rest for the night. We can make it down in a day, and that journey is at best one or two." Elis deduced.
The sun was dipping below the horizon.
Immediately, I sat as far away from the edge as possible, pushing myself against the wall.
"I need a bath desperately," Surian complained.
I nodded in agreement. "Just a few more days, and this ordeal will be over."
Surian gave me a beautiful smile. "And I will make sure Farketh is crushed."
We were too high up to gather wood, so it would be a dark night. However, the moon was out, and that chased away some of the darkness. The stars were rather beautiful, like an ocean in the sky.
I lay there for over an hour, watching the sky, absorbed into the endless abyss. Surian and Elis had hushed conversations. I didn't care to decipher what they were whispering.
‘Anier, you can still stop me, you know.’
I closed my eyes, pretending to fall asleep.
~
Slowly, I sat up, glancing over to see Elis sound asleep.
My heart went as cold as ice as I considered how to kill her. She needed to die as fast as possible.
I took in a deep breath, slowly stood, and stalked towards Elis, blade in hand, careful not to make a sound. She was lying on her back, using an arm for a pillow.
Time seemed to slow as I stared down at her sleeping form. I held the blade in my right hand and gripped my left wrist tightly. Then I slowly stepped towards her head. Just as I reached her, I kicked a small stone accidentally. The sound caused her to rise from sleep.
Her eyes opened slowly.
I pounced blade first. Pressing my bodyweight down on her neck using both hands for support. Half my body weight was on her chest; the other half was on the blade. The edge of the blade bit so deep that it disappeared into her neck with a spray of blood that wet my face and chest. Elis's body jerked, trying to fight. Her eyes filled with terror and confusion as she attempted to process what was happening. Then I ripped the blade to the right, causing an absolute torrent of blood to spray as her heart did all the work for me. She released horrific-sounding gurgles as the air in her lungs escaped from the gaping wound. Instinctively, she brought her hands to her throat, but it was pointless.
Her blood was hot, almost scalding as it coated my face, arms, and body. It was rather shocking how powerful the spray was.
I stared down at her dying body, her hands losing strength. Her eyes were slowly losing focus. I watched, transfixed, as the woman died. Staring down at the horror that I had done had given me pause. Gemma was different. This time, I saw the life leave her eyes; felt as her heart stopped beating.
I leaned back, staring at the sky. My heart stilled as I embraced the moment. After another ten seconds, the spasming of her chest stopped. The dying process was odd.
‘This was true murder, true condemnation. Anier, if you existed, you would have stopped me. This is all the proof I need. There are no gods; there is just us, animals walking the earth. Some are hunters, others are prey. Do we judge a bear that rips apart a newborn deer? No, it's just nature at work. So why should I feel guilty? Everyone has to die sometime. What difference does it make if it's today or tomorrow?’
A faint shriek of terror from my left brought me out of my moment of catharsis. I turned to see Surian, her eyes looking from the corpse of Elis to me, still dripping in blood.
I smiled, "Good morning, Mistress."
I stood the blade, still in my hand.
"M-Myr, why, What, no, no, no." She scrambled back. It would make more sense to turn and run, but sheer terror tends to make people not think straight.
"What's wrong, mistress? Don't like the real Myr?" I asked.
"Why do this? Are-Are you an agent of Farketh?"
I laughed at the suggestion. The thought was so ridiculous, I stopped stalking towards her and held my stomach. The laughter was too intense.
"N-No, as shocking as it may seem, I had nothing to do with the ambush. I just wanted to become a Magus. That's the truth. That's why I left my village. That's why I killed Gemma. That's why you two caught me holding those books. It's all for this. For this very moment. " I gestured to the case near Elis's feet. "You said it yourself. The Magisterium would never accept me. You see, Baroness, nothing will stop me. There is no cruelty I won't inflict, no one I won't kill to get what I want."
‘It's so nice to say it out loud.’
"You'll get the noose for this. It's, It's treason." Surian's eyes were getting frantic. She couldn't outrun me, and I was the only one with a weapon.
I laughed again, cackling with amusement. “Treason? I acknowledge no baroness, duke, or emperor. I don't even worship the whore Anier." I kept smiling. "But I'll give her one more chance. Pray Surian, pray with all your faith. See if she will come to your aid."
Standing there, over Surian, I waited for her. Oddly, some part of me wanted to see some kind of divine intervention.
"You're a monster," Surian said, almost to herself.
"No, Surian, I am free. Free from all the cages people put themselves in. I'm as close to goddess as any of you worthless humans could fathom."
Surian didn't pray; instead, she tried to run.
‘As expected, Anier, you don't exist."
I giggled and gave chase. I caught up to her quickly, tackling her screaming form to the ground. My weight pressed against her back as she fought to free herself.
'Odd, isn't this how my brother caught me? It feels so long ago.'
She struggled for her life. "No, no, no. Please, no Anier. I don't want to..." I slit her throat, cutting off the begging, turning it into painful gurgles. After another minute, her fighting ceased.
‘Four are now dead by my hands.’
I stood, dropped the knife, and sat down on the dirt floor next to her, staring at my hands. They were drenched in blood.
Terror like no other ran through me. Not as a result of actions or fear of the repercussions. It was my hands; they were still. My heart wasn't even racing.
'I am a monster, aren't I?'
I look to the east, the sun slowly rising.
Wasting no time, I searched Surian's body. Finding almost nothing, she had jewelry, of course. I took her nice white leather gloves. Her dress was too soaked with blood to do anything with. At least she had some gold buckles and clasps.
I moved on to Elis, mildly surprised that she was still there, dead on the ground. It was an odd feeling. I searched for her pockets, actually finding gold. An incredibly old design, ancient coin by the look of it, but gold was gold. I removed her rings and gloves. I paused, however, as I stared at the palms of her hands. They were tattooed with enormously complex symbols similar to the ones in the energy forge.
Several circles, odd lines connecting them, and at least a hundred symbols. However, they were dim like the ink inside the tattoo was going away. It was getting even dimmer. Eventually, it disappeared completely, leaving her hand bare. I blinked, thinking I had gone insane, but no, they were gone.
‘Magical nonsense, probably.’
I kept searching her pockets, coming away with a few silver eagles, a small, well-made pocket knife with a leather hilt.
‘Where's that medallion? It looked like it was made of gold. Did she leave it in the carriage?’
All she had around her neck was a leather rope with a silk pouch tied to the end. I opened it expecting jewels, but only fine shiny dust came out, blowing away in the wind. I shrugged and kept searching. Then found what looked like a similar silk pouch.
"What in Anier’s name is this?" I asked no one.
Inside was a small, clear stone, a little larger than a chickpea. The odd thing was, it glowed white. There were whisps of some white substance inside the stone, constantly shifting and swirling. It was similar to how cream looks when a drop enters clear water. Except, the cream glowed. I shrugged, putting it back inside the bag, adding it to my loot. I stripped their bodies bare. It was a rather unpleasant process since dead bodies tend to soil themselves. But I wasn't willing to miss anything.
Turning to the case by Elis's feet, I breathed a heavy sigh and took out a book.
"Please make this worth it," I mumbled. I chose the same book from before, The Ocularum of Arcane Circles and Magical Formulae, and as soon as I had enough light, I started reading.